Friday, 16 December 2011

The kiss of the crop

The last two post were a bit spicy weren't they. Better be more fun..

We may be taking a break from 24/7 d/s but we sure aren't stopping our 12 days of Christmas. In fact ever since the whipping I posted about recently sandy has kicked up the intensity a lot!

This means that sandy has finally marked me with the crop. She's tried often but I don't bruise easy. Shes every so very happy, it's lasted two days and counting.

Monday, 12 December 2011

What a mess

Sandy had a conversation with her lover. Long and short of it is that his feelings are so strong for her he doesnt think he can strike a balance. As such he thinks its better he ends it before our marriage is affected.

Unfortunately he has been badly hurt himself and he was having a tough time even before this. Sandy is gutted, she really did feel for the guy. I feel like a cad for precipitating the whole thing and messing things up. We needed and asked for more space but somehow that has become a damnable mess.

You would think most men would jump at a low friction fun and friendship type affair! Thats two out of two who have fallen too deeply for Sandy, asked for too much, and as such its gone awry.

Sunday, 11 December 2011

How hard is an emotionally open marriage?

A quick update

Sandy and I are taking a short break from d/s. This includes orgasm denial (though it pained her to say it) and denial of intercourse. We are also in the last make or break stage of keeping this marriage open with this lover,  stopping the experiment. 

When things settle I hope to write much more about it. Hopefully it will settle without us having to stop but we are a hair breadth from that decision. It is proving very tricky to manage a three way relationship. This isn't pure sex or friends with benefits. Sandy is naturally prone to immersing herself in her lover, at least for the first months and flush of excitement. He is emotionally demanding and unfortunately has fallen in love. Love is fine to a point, but he is constantly trying to get her attention and is jealous of me. she can't easily keep away from him mentally and reserve time and attention for me partly because of her own excitement, but more because of his possessiveness and constant contact. I feel he is a threat to us, I am trying to be open to sharing, he is not. As a result I was starting to feel jealous of him until realised that this is not the way it should be, that were he not so demanding of her it would be more lighthearted and fun for all, and not feel so threatening. 

Sandy is stressed at work, tired, busy. She has not got the time and mental energy to deal with that, and me, and kids, and work etc. She cant see him several times a week and still have time and energy for her family, or be responding to texts in the evenings instead of being present with us. 

She intends to talk to him about this tomorrow. I have my doubts he has the maturity to cope with such a complex relationship,  if he doesn't it will end soon. 

For my part sandy has said that she wants more freedom, is not comfortable with my being too involved. This is a learning experience for me too, and in principle I am happy, both as a husband and a sub, to set her free. I hadn't realised she felt that way.  We both agree though that we need to think about how it is working first. I have taken more control since we started rather than less because I don't trust him to respect our marriage, and because she has made some serious mistakes that have hurt me. It is a learning experience for us all, and a hard lesson. She sees why I am like this. I see why she did what she did. I love her and know her, I can understand her actions and am beginning to understand her needs and drives. 

We are doing some hard thinking the next few days. Much will depend on him, she and I can make it work we think, though we aren't sure, but can he?

Some more questions answered

More questions and answers 

First of all I was rather amused at Marias picking up on the odd spelling mistake. I have a very busy life. A wife who works full time and two kids, a main job, and founding another business. I write in short snatches, often on and iPhone while travelling. Rarely have time to proof read or edit much, and am reliant on spotting the inevitable iPhone autocorrect howler. So while I apologise for those mistakes I'm not going to stop making them :)

Sandy rarely reads my posts or anything online. She isn't an online person. She does on occasion though and it can happen anytime. Yes I have discussed with her about wether she would stop. She insist without hint of hesitation that she would, although admits she would find hard. If she ever told me she wouldn't a red flag would go up so fast you wouldn't believe. I'm not a beta character in life, quite the opposite. I am her sub because we respect each other and i love and trust her, but I'm no doormat. If her love for me ever became threatened the d/s would stop from my side very quickly. So would her extramarital fun, or our marriage. 

Luckily she has no intention of threatening one of the happiest marriages of anyone we know :)

Paul Pines is an interesting case. I read some of his diary a long while ago and found it a very sad read. It isnt relevant to us though. I am good in bed, I turn sandy on a lot, and if I didn't my self respect would first drive me to learn to be better, and if that failed I would with regret have to move on to someone with whom I was more compatible. kids of course make that more complicated but it's the timing that might be affected, not the outcome. Again luckily that's not who she or I are in any way. 

Sandy doesn't prefer sex with her lover, she likes both. Right now I have an edge because I know her better, and he has an edge because he is new and exciting. That makes us different but doesn't make her prefer him. She actively enjoys denying me because it turns her on not because she doesn't enjoy fucking me. That said I can't say for sure that it won't increase in time. In fact I think there is a high chance it will. But it will do so only as long as we both enjoy it, if I stop enjoying it then she won't either. That's what she is like. What any loving couple are like in my opinion. Further we both get bored easily and need variety, so we will likely always take breaks from it if only for a change. Finally there is a certain intimacy that we both get from making love, her less so than me but still enough that while she can do without for long periods, it wouldn't be forever. 

I hope this clarifies some. If I'm coming on strong it's because I know her, me and us well, and nothing resembling the Paul Pines level of discomfort would enter into this relationship before one or both of us backtracked screaming :) 

Sandys favourite words are it's fun. If it isn't fun, if it gets uncomfortable or boring then things change. 

Monday, 5 December 2011

The twelve days of Christmas

Fours years ago on the 1st december something began that, though we had no idea at the time, would lead to my wife recognising her dominance and becoming comfortable with it. Which in turn would lead to us living a mostly continuous domme /sub relationship. Though we do take breaks on occasion, for a change or when we are feeling the need for vanilla, even during the break there is a tiny undercurrent of d/s.

This wasn't always the case. I'm very alpha in normal life and like to be in control always. That's how sandy and I used to be, and she for her part used to think she liked to mould herself to others.

I knew i was a switch sexually but never really explored emotional or day to say submission. Sandy knew she liked to dominate sexually on occasion but was never comfortable in the role or aware she actually liked to be in control. She mostly did it because I liked it.

The thing that triggered the change was the twelve days of Christmas. It started as a kinky game. On December 1st she would whip me once. Twice on the second. Etc. It sounded fun to us both. On the first day she realised that one wasn't enough and decided the count was per bum cheek.

And so it began. By the 25th she was very much more comfortable with being in the dominant role and we had both started to recognise that she felt fulfilled in the wider role of domme, not just as the odd sex game.

This Christmas we thought we would do the same. Only now she has a riding crop, a real one for horses not for men's bottoms. It hurts. I'm very much enjoying having 24 days of submitting to her and she loves the idea of whipping me anyway so relishes it too! Probably more than me.

I'm wondering how I'm going to cope with 24!!!

I know I will thank her from the bottom of my heart. I always feel especially in love when I submit to her, and she enjoys an intimacy with me that she truly appreciates.

Sunday, 4 December 2011

I'm scared

It's all happening fast. It's happening to extremes. For me at least. Deepest and darkest fantasies are becoming likely to happen. I feel like things I have fantasised about for a long time are not my fantasy any more but Sandy's. And she wants them to be real.

It's one thing sharing your wife. It's another lying in bed desperate horny, truly wishing you could cum. Truly wishing you could fuck her. Make love to her. Yet have her say no. Have her tell you, in total seriousness and candour, that she does not miss fucking you and does not intend to allow you to do that. Not words said purely to fuel a fantasy but stated even when cold. Thats not sharing, that's being as deeply submissive as a man can get. That's allowing what I so desire to be taken by her from me. And sandy, well she gets off more and more on the disparity. He gets to cum, I don't. On her tits, in her mouth, in her pussy or ass. Wherever and however he wants. She loves that I can't do that. She revels in it. It makes her feel powerful and mean and delicious, her eyes burn with fire as she says how much she likes it. She enjoys being his slut, and all the more because she is my Domme and my denier.

Tonight I asked her to tell me a dark fantasy she likes. She told me locking my cock up for a whole month, no freedom at all. To be fucking her lover, maybe even three times a week, taking photos to show me, taunt me with, knowing I won't have a single orgasm, or a single minute of freedom from the chastity belt merely to have a wank over the photo of her unfaithfulness. I was floored by the extreme of the fantasy, but not as floored as when I asked her if she wanted it for real. Her answer an unequivocal yes! Even pointing out that if he figured out how to make her cum properly even that pleasure might be reduced for me. I would get to tease her but not often make her cum.

Sandy and I have a few issues to deal with at the moment. Some related to making an open marriage work in reality, some related to life in general. I will write about them. She pointed out that she would be worried about making that fantasy real just now because of those other things, but If they were sorted then she would do it.

Furthermore she wants to reduce my weekly single orgasm to one a month. I suggested a day of freedom a month but she insists one sole orgasm only. She wants that because it's mean and fun and makes her squirm, and because her lover will get even more than me then. She thinks she could keep that up for maybe 6 months! Again these other issues mean for now it will remain fantasy, but maybe not forever. This tid bit came up when I asked, no begged her to allow me two orgasms a week as I'm really struggling with being horny all the time. Two orgasms a week was just laughed at, no chance at all. That's when she mentioned her interest in one a month.

Be careful what you wish for has never felt this true. She is running ahead with things I never imagined could be real. My limits are being pushed hard. I am honestly truly mixed up about wether I can do this. My cock loves it, my sexuality sings to her tune. My heart is afraid and my alpha male head is rebelling. My old Domme used to say I think too much, just live in the moment and enjoy. Sandy is now telling me the same. It's just fun she says. But her fun is easier to live with, my end of this Faustian deal is a bittersweet pleasure.

Angst much?

I know he isn't a better lover than me, though he is very good. He is new and of course that is a huge turn on for her. She doesn't prefer fucking him, in the sense of prefer the sensation or way he does it, but for now she prefers to fuck only him and deny me because that is her pleasure. I know she doesn't intent this way of life to be permanent, might only be weeks before she fucks me again. But I already miss making love to her, and by going this deeply into submission to her I wonder if we could ever truly go back. No I know we couldn't. Already 4 years of being her sub have changed us. Once in a blue moon could I just take what i want from her. She does not want to live that way in her main relationship. She wants the control and has tasted it. That sexual path is probably forever behind us now. How much else will change with me sliding deeper and accepting what might be weeks or months of denial of her pussy, and months of her enjoying the sexual pleasure that comes of a man who uses her and fucks her and does what he likes. Afterwards perhaps she will want more of that with me. But equally perhaps she will find she prefers keeping me deep in submission and getting that side of things from another man. Who knows? But I know things won't just go back to normal.

I can almost hear my old Domme saying stop overanalysing. Just enjoy it. Easier said than done!

I know i can stop this anytime. Submission is given and I could stop merely by saying this isn't working for me. Problem is I don't know if it is or isn't. I just know its extreme, scary, more than I ever expected would happen in reality.

Emma and Scott if you are reading this (i don't know if you do read my blog) I would certainly appreciate your thoughts.


Thursday, 1 December 2011

What about love?

Maria asked

do you assume that sandy is really still loving you ?
is the relation with her lover just based on sex or is there also an strong emotional relation ?

Good questions so i thought I would post. I know sandy is still loving me. That is not in question in my mind or my heart.

The relationship with her lover is much more than sex. She likes him, enjoys his company, and even loves him, to a point. When she gets back to me though her love for me is obvious. She enjoys the sex, its new, exciting, fresh. There is no baggage no practical consideration, no putting kids to bed or what's for dinner. In other words it is a love affair like that when you are young and carefree. It's fun, and the love and friendship is real, to a point. But only in this fantasy world, this microcosm of pretence where the real world does not intrude.

Would she be with him if he were single? Maybe but some good reasons not. She has grown together with me over the years, we have worked hard to fall deeply in love. She has in me her deep love, her soulmate, her best friend. And quite honestly I still rock her boat sexually. I'm confident and good in bed so it's not like she has her other man due to a lack on that side. He is a nice guy but in many ways not compatible with her in the real world. It's a love, friendship and sexual affair in a fantasy world without many complications. There it will stay.

He has fallen for her a bit too much. Something I need to write about soon. We are finding our feet with how this is working and it's not been without mistakes. She has begun to make it clear to him what the boundaries are. 'love me by all means, but don't try to compete with my husband. You will lose. Keep it light hearted and fun.'

Amen to that. He was starting to compete, it was starting to make it hard work and less fun, and I have no doubt he would be out in no time at all if it came to it. I only have to say the word, or him try and make her choose between us for that to happen. I'm not competing back, that would imply he has some chance. I would just withdraw the invite into our life. If sandy didn't do it first.

So yes to emotions, even to love. But as sandy says, I can love two men without it diminishing my love for my prime partner. And as she also said, not many women are lucky enough to have the chance to love two men, that should be treated with the respect it deserves.

There is some angst as I adjust. But then the way we are playing, the denial is part of that. I must write about it more.

This is not a simple relationship, poly isn't easy. Even this 'poly light' of ours. While so far the rewards are great in no way is it a simple thing to embark on. We have more work to do! But it makes sandy happy and that makes me happy.

And horny!

Tuesday, 29 November 2011

Can't sleep

Heart churning cock burning stomach roiling. My sandy has been closeted for the last four hours with her lover and I can't get to sleep for imagining what they are up to.

She did send me a picture of her lover balls deep inside her an hour ago. A short few texts passed between us in which I said I wanted it too. She replied

'No not now not for a while...x' and then 'for him not for you x'

Her last text when asked if i was allowed to cum, read, 'No, now go to sleep I'm busy xx'

As if I can!!

Sunday, 20 November 2011

On polyamory

There is a lot of well written information about polyamory on the Internet, what I know would probably fit on the back of a postcard, or even a stamp (remember those things that used to make old fashioned paper emails go). What I do know is that this is now the third time sandy and I have started on what can only be described as the beginnings of a poly relationship.

Sandy, who for years has had permission to play but always said she didn't want to, has for the second time found a lover, once last year and now. Several years ago she and I had a semi regular threesome with a man who is still a good friend. In his case he was almost becoming part of the family, I could have imagined him in our lives longer term and so could sandy. She called it off in part because she could grow to like him too much. The lover last year (initially at least) and her current lover occupy a similar position in her mind. Not simply friends, not only sex. She admits that she likes this guy, cares for him, loves sex with him and in some way loves him (or at least that pale shadow of love that exists in the first months of a relationship). She knows he is not threat to us, if anything she loves me even more right now. She has realised with these three experiences that she has it in her to care for more than one man without it threatening her feelings for her prime relationship. With that realisation she finds it much easier, and much more fun, to let herself go with this lover.

So we find ourselves in the unexpected position of being in the beginnings of what could become a poly. Sandy and I, with sandy having a secondary but emotionally valuable relationship as well.

I am still amazed, happy, grateful, and proud to see how she has developed from the very shy wallflower of her youth to the remarkable, confident, passionate woman she is today, and if you knew what she was like when she was young you would never have believed she could become this person. I have to pinch myself to check I'm not imagining it. With each year that passes she grows in confidence and in willingness to make the most of life. Polyamory suits her, I suspected so last year but as it turned out the guy was not a good match, I'm even more sure now. Sandy, who hates being labelled and isn't always comfortable admitting in the cold light of day what she likes, did not bat an eyelid when I suggested she had the capacity for this kind of relationship, she's admitted it to herself. Again that's unusual for her given how she still struggles sometimes with what 'society' deems acceptable. .

Saturday, 19 November 2011

I did say she is capricious!

That decision to deny me her mouth didn't last long! Heheh.

Sandy just gave me a full on, deep in her mouth, tongue on my frenum, balls being needed, finger in my ass, kneeling and looking up at me with her pretty blue eyes, cum in her mouth orgasm. My head almost exploded.

I've been cleaning up and tidying all sorts today, and apparently that and the fact that she loves me, on the spur of the moment as I got out of the shower she decided to look after me.

I'm very chilled now!

My Domme as I saw her

This is what he gets to enjoy, and I am denied. As I saw her just before leaving for work.

Screaming orgasm

That’s what I want, what I need. Im craving it something crazy. I want to slide inside my wife, her hot wetness enveloping my cock, squeezing me, feeling her body brushing against mine, her breasts against my chest. I need to fuck her so badly, cum inside her and feel her cum around me. 

Its not to be. In fact I texted her yesterday saying something like the above. Her response… ‘No! Not a chance!’

Its what she and he get.

This time last year sandy found a lover, though that didn’t end too well. Didn’t think we would be here again but she has found another. To say he turns her on is putting it mildy. She is almost continuously damp, several times a day a text from him will turn her on, or an interaction between sandy and I, usually in some way related to the lover, will do the same. We are having sex several times a week. Well sex of sorts.

Since she first started playing with him she and I had been fantasising about what it would be like. She suggested that my orgasms should be contingent on him, so my single weekly orgasm would only occur if she had made him cum that week. In person, phone sex doesn’t count. Hot fantasy, it was a fun night that night, but I later realised she was totally serious. My cock is burning, aching for release, but I know that I will only cum less often than her lover now. Its making me ache and bury myself deep in submission to her. That’s only the start.

Since she first fucked him I have been banned from being inside her pussy. She has reserved it for her lover. For now and the indefinite future her pussy belongs solely to him.

Since she first sucked him she has not sucked me. She keeps telling me how much she enjoyed going down on him, how he expected it, how it made her wet feeling his hot cock hard in her mouth. For now she refuses to take my cock in her mouth, in fact the relish, the delicious and wicked look in her eyes when she refuses, and the almost instant wetness in her panties when she refuses me is driving me crazy.

For now at least my orgasms are limited by him, only he gets to fuck her, to be sucked by her. Every time I look at her naked body I see something I lust after, something I used to be able to just take, before she became dominant. Now I see this most beautiful sexy woman who for years has been my domme, has allowed sex only on her terms and usually for her pleasure, offer to him her body, her pussy, and let him take and use her like a toy. He has now fucked her several times, gone down on her for hours, and used her however he wanted. Her mouth has been on his cock more in the last two weeks than it has on mine in the last year. He has told her to dress up for him which she has done with delight. Her vanilla and slightly submissive side has come out to play, but only with him. The more she enjoys that side of herself with him, the more she is getting off on denying me. Her excitement is being greatly increased by dwelling on how everything she willingly offers him, everything I so crave, she denies. Each time I beg to be inside her her obvious lust in saying no makes me understand, in no uncertain terms, that I am her sub and that she loves to be mean to me, it turns her on. My place is to be abused and teased, his to enjoy her charms. Needless to say I have made her cum a lot recently.

Until now. For now even that has been denied me. They are planning to get together on Monday, so for almost the last week she has not cum, saving it for him, wanting to be truly horny when he takes her. I have been banned from making her cum, or seeing her cum, although I get to pleasure her often. After Monday who knows, but she has discussed continuing it (as long as our intimacy is not affected). If the time between seeing him is too long she may masturbate, perhaps with him on the phone. I will not be allowed to see that. While I was teasing her a few nights ago she even said how it would feel if after a few months she sent me a video of her cumming with him, the first time I would have been allowed to see her cum for months. She was dripping wet when she was saying this, grinding her pussy into my hand.

Does this sound extreme? Damn right it is, it’s a roller coaster. We are so much in love its unreal, and both having a lot of fun. I am crazy horny, its almost impossible to bear, and she feeds off that. How long will the denial last? Well the single orgasm a week has always been her rule while we are in d/s mode, that could be years. The rest? The lack of pussy could easily last for the entire time she sees him, although once in a while she says she may fuck me. The blow job, and especially the lack of making her cum… That will probably be much shorter, as she says she is the boss and doesn’t like to get tied down in any way, including her own rules. She will do it until she feels like not doing it. Im guessing a week or two, perhaps up to a month or two. Who knows. Sandy is nothing if not capricious and she may decide to fuck me senseless this side of Christmas, but the odds are massively against it. In her words, its up to her, she is the boss, and as long as our intimacy does not suffer she will do what she likes for as long or short as she wants.

As she pointed out when I discussed intimacy with her, right now this game is doing the opposite, bringing us together.

One last thing. She owed me a blow job from a couple of months back, for some reason or another. She has decided that debt has been paid now, to her lover!

Friday, 18 November 2011

I know you are out there

So I'm going to be shameless and say, show yourselves. In return I might put up a picture of sandy as she looked when I left the house.



Wednesday, 16 November 2011

And so it begins

Last night Sandy was teasing me, rubbing my cock, telling me, in a very husky turned on voice, how much sex she is getting, and im not!

This morning we woke up, had a long hug in each others arms and a bit of a tease, for both of us. Lovely way to start the day.. Then...

OMG! She got up and as she started to get washed ordered me to get things ready. Ive just put fresh sheets on the bed, shaved her pussy smooth, laced her into her waspie and left the house ready for her lover to come and join her. I was told to lick her pussy and her ass to check they were smooth enough. They were, perfectly. They also tasted great, aroused and arousing. Before I left she made me kneel down, locked up my cock and as I knelt she told me she loves me on my knees. Her tone said she loves it a lot. Made my heart skip a beat!

Im a bit horny now...

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

It's the little things

Being told by your wife to change the sheets in the morning so she can spend the day with her lover in a clean bed.

Sunday, 13 November 2011

Thumpers December.

Or what happens to a subby bunny when freedom calls.

Sandy and I have taken a break from d/s for about a month and a half. This is after several months of my being her sub and orgasm restriction, in fact several years of it, with the odd break. Sandy and I have found that the odd break does us good, doing the same thing constantly takes the edge off it for us, makes it less exciting.

However my submission, her dominance, this has become a major foundation of our relationship. Orgasm denial is a feature of that. The first few weeks of the break was good, I came lots, we were vanilla together and made love the old fashioned way, and due to the pressure she was under at work we had less sex, but that was less of an issue as I did not need her to release my tension. I masturbated. This worked very well, for a while.

However after a few weeks, a month or so, this started to translate into a distance between us. I felt unnoticed, less appreciated, I wasn't getting the emotional connection I needed. Sandy also grew a bit distant, without my need binding us it was easy for us both to be tired, be lazy, eat and sleep and exist without connection. She stopped being dominant but forgot how much she enjoys it, I looked after her bit less.

We have started this aspect of our relationship again, and it's a great thing. I feel happy and fulfilled again, close to her, loved. She feels cared for, looked after. We are both enjoying the fun aspect of kink and dominance, we had forgotten how much we enjoyed it, and of course absence makes the heart grow fonder. The break was worthwhile, if perhaps a week or two too long. But there were changes, and eventually intimacy was reduced.. It's a good time to start again!

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Birthday bonanza

It was my birthday not too long ago, I just turned 20! Only the odd grey hair putting the lie to that.

The night of my birthday sandy and I had sex, it was what I had asked for as a gift and she was happy to oblige. She's been rehearsing and on stage for the last month or so, so i haven't seen much of her nor had a great deal of adult time. It was what we both needed. The details are fuzzy now, but it was a hard, fast fuck. She was turned on, I was turned on, we both had not cum in over a week. Well I had by my own hand but that doesn't count, it just doesnt hit the spot.

To get to the point, we played, got turned on, I was playing with her ass and she got so into it that I ended up with my cock sliding deep in her ass, she was sitting on my lap, her ass impaled, me thrusting up into her. Her fingers were on her clit and mine on her breasts and waist as she came hard, and I came hard filling her with my cum. A good hard filthy ass fuck, the best birthday gift.

A couple weeks or so later we were playing again. Remember that at this stage we had been taking a break from our d/s lifestyle for over a month. Partly just for a change and partly lack of time. Vanilla playtime and some hot fantasies about her with another guy led to a long hard fuck. Long and hard like those first few months together, when it was all new and exciting. Since I've had a month off and been masturbating lots holding back was no issue. I do recall having her legs in the air then over my shoulders, her bare pussy deep and hot and very wet as I slid in and out. so wet in fact it was making delicious sloppy sounds as I slammed in, and even better sounds while we slowed down and just squirmed. She was moaning the most sexy moans We did eventually cum, first her, then a few minutes later me. She had another again soon after, my cum adding to her lubrication as I slid my fingers over her clit for a second lovely orgasm.

That was the last time I was inside her, I suspect it will be my last fuck for a long time. Because that's when the lover came on the scene....

Friday, 11 November 2011

Tonight and tomorrow

So much to say, to write. So little time. Sometimes though immediacy is paramount.

I am lying in bed but sleep eludes me. Tomorrow, while I'm at work, my wife will be fucking her new lover in our marital bed.

Friday, 4 November 2011

An unexpected adventure

Hokay, where do i begin? Sandy looked fantastic. We parked up in London, the party was in one of the huge old victorian houses, all chandeliers and velvet opulence. As we walked up towards it I clocked a rather beautiful woman and her husband walking down the road. Something about them made me think, ' hmmm I bet they could be guests'. Then they noticed us and I became certain as they looked at us with exactly the same thought written across their faces. Once inside I can honestly say sandy and I were crapping ourselves. Weve been to so many fetish clubs, but walking into a drawing room, dressed up in cocktail dress, knowing it's a place that you are expected to meet people and then get naked and have sex.... Odd! At a fetish club you start off half naked, somehow having to get undressed from normal clothes makes it naughtier and scarier.

Anyway got chatting to a few couples after a glass or two of champagne. Found that one or two couples had been before, old hands. The rest were all new to it and crapping themselves too which made it much easier :) after a while I spotted the couple we had seen outside, haha. I caught her eye by chance and gave her a wink. Very sexy woman! Beautiful elegant shortish dress with open back and shoulders, blond hair, beautiful face. Very slim! Got chatting to them a bit later and turned out we got on really well too.

At some point we went upstairs to the play area, basically a huge room with a massive bed in the middle. Sandy and I played a bit together at the side but the sheer number of bodies in the bed was a little off-putting. The couple also disappeared it turned out for the same reason. We ended up back in the bar and they turned up, so we we sat on the sofa chatting. It was very apparent to sandy that the woman liked me, I'm a bit of a dunce though so took me longer to clock it. I was only sure when she mentioned about her liking Greek men. Given how I look I figured I was in with a chance, lol. And indeed I did, before long I was kissing her, a very passionate and good kisser she was too, and she basically writhed around on my lap being very huggy and intimate. In fact she was a remarkably huggy woman and seemed happy never to stop kissing. I love kissing! Its probably the best bit!

After a few minutes I looked up to see if sandy was ok with what was going on, she had been chatting to the husband. They weren't there! I realised they had gone back upstairs together, lol. The tart. Blondie and I stayed downstairs playing, kissing, she gave me a lovely blow job, and I made her cum. Very squirmy and fun and easygoing, all sat on a sofa in a bar, in front of the bar staff and other drinkers. Kinda very naughty! Chatted lots too. Turned out while upstairs hubby was going down sandy and making her cum, and at one point a rather attractive blond curled up kissing my wife, her breasts pressed against her chest, her boyfriend, black and handsome, close by and just touching. I missed seeing that! Apparently she liked kissing a girl.

We played upstairs again later, this time I watched him pleasuring her, she was lying on her back arching, breasts jutting (well they are silicon enhanced, they always jutt, heheh) i was playing, teasing, pinning his wife down and edging her. She claimed not to like being teased so of course I kept teasing and backing off just as she was about to cum. By the time I tipped her over she came so hard she was crying out loud and long, a very tasty sound! She tasted delicious too! I could have stayed down all night :)

Basically we had a fantastic time. Was a cool venue with lots of attractive people there. As you'd expect I loved it, but unexpectedly sandy enjoyed it too she has never been into the idea of swinging before. She even liked the idea of me fucking another woman. We will go again.

Meantime we are taking a temporary break from d/s. Just for a change.


Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Friday, 28 October 2011

At peace

Freya wrote a beautiful post about names, one in which their love comes across very brightly. In passing mentioned how she sleeps with her husband. It was something I could have written almost word for word!

On those nights when I can't sleep and my mind won't stop. Then I curl up with sandy, press myself in, her ass against my groin, my arm resting between her breasts, my face against her shoulder breathing the scent of her skin... and my mind and body finally relax, breathing slows, mind stops buzzing.

Funnily enough my daughter is the same. She can be buzzing and unable to sleep for hours, but if one of us curls up with her and hugs her, within minutes her breathing has slowed and she is fast asleep. Of course mummy and daddy love that too :) That time spent just relaxing and hugging my child, feeling needed, sensing her heartbeat and breathing against my chest, smelling her hair and feeling her still little arms around me makes me happy and at peace. All is well in our little world.

Monday, 24 October 2011


My eyes have dulled,
The last to fade.
Faint shadow of my youth has fled.

With skin now gray.
Like drying sand
Lay ripples on my face instead.

And yet the battle rages still,
A vain hope true, and humble;
To rise, and yes to taste of life unaided.

Monday, 3 October 2011

A note from my wife

Sandy, looking very pleased with herself, has coined a new phrase. She has now written it up and pinned it to our fridge.

Saturday, 1 October 2011

Having a hard time

I'm not feeling the submission this week. Not entirely. I have flashes of being warm and cocooned in it, but mostly my controlling side is chafing. I want to fuck sandy something rotten, but she won't allow it. I want to order her to make me coffee and massage my feet. To suck my cock while I relax. Of course sandy isn't ever going to accept that. A switch she isn't!

I'm sure it will pass. Im also sure that work isn't helping. A lot is going on and my in control persona is always switched on, watching, designing, playing politics. It's hard to switch when i get home. I love my position at work, I like to lead and I'm good at it. It can bleed over.

Still sandy is as dominant as ever, I'm sure she will remain in charge, it's best for us.

Tuesday, 27 September 2011

I'm free as a bird

So what next?

A second week had passed and I was unlocked for the weekend, after the munch. As it turned out sandy and I had some very passionate sex on Sunday night. I don't recall specifics but I do remember it was kinky, hot, and my orgasm was spectacular!

What came next was a surprise. Sandy decided that she wanted me to cum every day for the next week. Exactly one orgasm a day, to be done at work by myself. I.e. Not much fun orgasms. Why? She said she thought it was mean to make me do it without her, and she loved the power of being able to control so personal a thing about me.

And that is what I did. One orgasm a day, every day, except one where I was too busy. The next day I had two. Sandy and I also had sex, but of course I wasn't allowed to cum then. In fact sandy loved knowing I had had 'my fun' and she could just enjoy herself. Not that that stops her normally.

It was a fun week and I certainly enjoyed my extra orgasms! I'm missing them now I'm back on the once a week schedule...

Friday, 23 September 2011

The one true way

There are those on the Internet who espouse their own one true way. Who believe they are correct and brook no conversation about it. Most of those people are fools and as such can be discounted.

Once in a while you find someone who is not a fool. Someone intelligent. Someone who many consider to be a leading resource in their field. I don't intend to name names, but for the second time I find myself disappointed by a particular one of those individuals. Someone intelligent who is closed to other people's thoughts, and closed to evaluating their own opinion in the light of discourse, is in my opinion worse than the fool who doesn't know better.

I will not engage this person a third time. I've worked with their like before and know it is pointless.

I leave you with this snippet, a childish resolution to very short conversation. I quote..

'No it's not. End of conversation.'

Sunday, 18 September 2011

What does she really think?

The lovely Mistress Millicent wrote these words which I thought Sandy might enjoy reading. I confess I edited them slightly (I hope Mistress Millicent doesn't mind) to speak better to her, gentle them a little. My edit is below.


You have proven to be a loyal husband and I love you. That doesn't mean that I must care.

I don't care if you don't want to play this game anymore.

I don't care about what you think our marital vows meant.

I don't care how jealous it makes you feel.

I don't care if you are humiliated.

I don't care about your desire to fuck me.

I don't care if you need to cum.

I will strip you naked.

I will leave the cage on your cock.

I will place you on your knees.

I will lash your body to the pillar in my bedroom.

I will insist that you watch and listen as I fuck another.

I will force you to experience my orgasm at the hands of someone else.

I will look upon you with amusement as you lick his cum from my body.

I will laugh as you clean his cock with your mouth.

I don't care what you may think about it.

Your desires are not my concern.

That is the essence of Mistress and slave.


I sent this to sandy, mostly for interest. I often send her tidbits she might enjoy. This was her response...

"She's v dominant - not caring enough in the way it's expressed but I guess I share the same sentiments!!"

Was I still locked?

Locked husband asked if I was still locked while at the munch being a Dom. The answer is no.

On Thursday morning i asked for a break for a day or two, the area around the tube was getting a tiny bit bruised and sore. It's a lucky thing I did! I went out for a drink with friends. A late and drunken affair. one of the guys there suspects I have a pa and has been itching to find out the truth. While taking a pee he actually looked over, craning his whole body to see my cock and find out if I do or not. Made me laugh, especially since, due to the angle, he didn't see the ring and told me now he knew I didn't. Of course I spent the evening messing with him and telling him he should have looked from underneath, so now he is back to square one, not knowing. Haha.

But... Imagine if I'd been tubed when he looked! I can hide it from a casual glance at a urinal, but not a determined look. Phew!

Anyway Friday I was still unlocked for the soreness reason, so I could be fully Dom mentally. Ive been unlocked most of the weekend too, except Saturday daytime when sandy was away and didn't trust me on my own.. I checked to see if she had hidden the keys since it was only for the day, she laughed when she heard what I did and told me of course she had. She also told me it's what makes me feel loved, knowing she cares enough to keep me denied and safe.

how true!

Saturday, 17 September 2011


I'm hoping it's not too confusing for you out there. It can be for me, heheh.

Tonight i went to a Munch with friends, I've been on and off for a year. I was there with two female friends one of whom subs to me sometimes. Good fun! So today I've kissed three beautiful women, if you include my wife, and had a very fun sparkly eyed girl with her head thrown back, her throat tightly in my fist, and her mouth mine to kiss. The testosterone is still burning in my veins.

Wednesday, 14 September 2011

Be careful what you wish for

Last time I posted I talked about a damn good pegging and a big dose of humiliation. I also mentioned that I was not unlocked from the chastity belt at all that weekend. Well midweek I've been pleasuring my sandy, but since I only get to cum at weekends I hadn't expected anything in return. Normally however I do get one orgasm each weekend, Its what she prefers. Weekend before last she didn't unlock me and after all the pegging, all the humiliation and lust I was left unsatisfied for the week. This weekend she still had a cold so on Sunday night she demanded a 'comfort orgasm', our code for a nice relaxing no frills orgasm. What I totally didn't expect was for her to snuggle in bed, make no attempt to unlock me, have a couple of nice orgasms, then tell me she was going to sleep and I was going to be left for another week. I was stunned and begged, honestly, for a quick cum, I was desperate by then. She told me in no uncertain terms that i wasn't going to get one, and that in fact she had decided not to before we even got in bed. Though she only told me after her fun of course! I was banned from asking any more.

That's three weekends missed now, and both latter weekends locked up the entire weekend. Not even out for a tease. Basically she is enjoying my locked state, and the fact that she has no need to worry about unlocking me for comfort reasons, that leads to her settling into being happy leaving me chastised all the time. Why worry, it's just not even a factor in her mind. She did admit that after leaving me horny for a third weekend she did feel a little bad, but not much. Not enough to change her mind. I'm wondering if she will even let me cum this weekend, I really hope she does.

In total it's three weeks since my last, accidental cum, more or less a wet dream. 5 weeks since the last proper orgasm, one she gave me in the middle of our vacation. Aaaahhhh! Be careful indeed.

I find that a comfortable chastity device is a very different thing to what we have had before. Because I don't need to be unlocked, even for cleaning, it become easy for sandy to leave me much longer than she expected. It becomes a routine, the norm is locked, it's a hassle to unlock, there is no need, she likes denying me, she gets to cum and enjoy herself. My cock and orgasm has become a non-issue. Why bother? Unlocking is simply not on her mind. I'm sure she will change at some point, she likes a change now and then. But in the meantime she is happy just teasing me in the device and getting her own pleasure. Its a roll, if you get what I mean.

For me It's simultaneously intense, lustful, horny, and very submissive. Unexpectedly though its also easier than denial without the device. I sleep better, my cock is out of reach so I don't play and keep myself half awake in the night. Its very comfortable and doesn't wake me, my horniness does though, some mornings. Usually around 4-5. Without the cage I would normally play until it's time to get up, with being locked up it's pointless. I can't get a good wank so I don't bother. I get back to sleep instead. It helps. All in all my mind doesn't fight it, the decision isn't mine anymore. I can have a little play if my happiness demands it, but it's much less often, less satisfying, therefore less of an attraction. It's not easy I'm still very needy, but it's much easier than unlocked. Apart from the slight stress on the piercing I feel I could just go on.

I daydream often about slipping into her hot, wet pussy. I want it in the worst way. All sandy does is laugh and tell me that she doesn't need it, that she is perfectly satisfied thank you, with a very sexy smirk.

Roll on the weekend. I'm still hopeful.


Monday, 5 September 2011

A very naughty night

Excuse the rushed writing, I’ve been working till 9:30 so time is limited, but wanted to get this written down before life gets in the way.

Last night my wife was in full on humiliation mood. Earlier in the day she had made me put on her panties, pink frilly ones, with the intention I would wear them all day. However after my shower mid afternoon she decided she wanted me to look manly and sexy so suggested I leave them off. I should have known the respite was temporary. The last week or so she has been talking naughty quite often, regularly referring to fucking my ass. I was pretty sure it was something she was craving.

I was also given 10 punishment strokes of the riding crop for my unauthorised cum last week. And believe me she was hard with it, no warm up. Ouch! I really do see these as punishments; I don’t ever risk getting them when warned.

She has a bit of a cold at the moment, when we got to bed she wondered if she just wanted a quick ‘comfort orgasm’ and then sleep. At this point she had already pinched my nipples a few times, and tickled me. She was threatening not to unlock me and let me cum (this is Sunday night remember), even though on Saturday night she had spent a good 20 minutes hurting me and teasing me without unlocking. Seeing all this I was pretty sure she wasn’t really going to want merely a quick orgasm. I was right, scant moments after I asked her is she no longer wanted to use the strap on she told me, urgently, to go and get it and not waste time.

Around this time she started asking me questions about what I was thinking and what was turning me on. Again like Saturday night, she was enjoying getting under my skin, and like the other night she was pushing at the things that she knew I find humiliating. She suggested she fuck my ass in the pink frilly panties, pulling them to one side, making me hand wash them afterwards. I was embarrassed but she forced me to admit that it turned me on. I joked about her throwing stockings in as well, next thing she was pushing on that, asking if I like the idea, forcing me to admit that while I would find it horribly embarrassing it would turn me on, the humiliation and her wielding the power and forcing me to do it.

So basically I ended up being ordered to put on her used stockings, the pink panties, and bend over the end of the bed. Shortly after sucking the rubber cock she was slowly but forcefully sliding it into my ass. What followed was a long and hard fuck, my face pushed down against the bed some of the time, or me arching back to meet her thrusts and feel her breast brushing my back. She was talking dirty to me, telling me what a slut I am, how dirty it is her fucking her husbands ass while his cock is locked up and he is horny. She was really kinking on the naughty, illicit, and powerful feelings over it. As she fucked me she told me that when she had had enough she was going to pull out, lie back and make me give her some nice orgasms, then she was going to sleep. I wasn’t going to get anything. Her voice got even throatier as she said this, obviously getting off on the idea.

When she finally pulled out (not before I pushed back and fucked the dildo myself for a while as she stayed still), I took off her harness and felt her pussy. It was soaked. Dripping wet.

She did as she said, she came twice and then I was left to kiss her goodnight and spoon into her, my aching cock nestled in her ass as she drifted off.

Why was she so turned on by denying me last night? Partly she enjoys it anyway, but what I’ve never mentioned on the blog is that when she is being dominant her rule is that I only get one cum a week maximum, and only at the weekend. No other days are allowed for that cum. She knew that by denying me Sunday night she had sentenced me to another full week of denial. This after 10 days already, she had made me miss the previous weekend due to my illegal cum, a cum that had been more wet dream than conscious in the first place… As she fell asleep and I breathed the scent of her skin I can honestly say I have rarely loved her more.

Sandy thinks I should put the pics up. She didn't order me to, she's being nice, but said she thinks people would want to see.

Pa5000 orgasm pain

I'm now wearing the pa5000 for three days running, having put it on after 10 days of denial. I'd already earned a very painful caning for cumming without permission at the start of the ten days, and put the pa on to reduce the temptation.

Tonight and last night sandy and I played, though I haven't cum. She also took a very incriminating photo of me, which I can't decide to put up or not! More in another post. She is now sated and asleep, I'm horny and awake!

To cut a long story short I've been kind of masturbating, and I thought it's worth an update on what is and isn't possible in the pa5000.

Masturbating is possible, though not especially satisfying. you can get a finger to the sensitive bits. This is good, for me at least. No touch is fun for a while but after too long I get emotionally cranky.

Orgasm is physically possible. I've done it once. It was hard but if horny enough i could do it every time. I doubt I ever will again though. As you get very close to orgasm your cock swells, especially the head. The one time I came it put so much pressure on the cock head with trapped blood from the cock tube, the piercing was under pressure from the extra swelling, and when the cum arrived it had to force itself through a swollen shut urethra. That moment before orgasm was very painful, and the orgasm itself and the pulses of my cock afterwards were absolute agony. My head felt like it wanted to burst with pressure and the cum was hot fire in my urethra. Physically the pa which I've sized correctly is usually supremely comfortable. Even hard night time erections don't hurt or wake me. But that extra swelling turns it into a different device, one I'm scared of.

Tonight I've edged a few times, with difficulty. But twice I nearly tipped over and at that point where i would have normally let the inevitable happen, I fought like crazy to stop the orgasm before it started. I just started to swell, and already the pain already was such that I had every incentive to stop. Thankfully I managed it.

Devilish device!

Now do nag me to write up our playtime if I don't soon.


Sunday, 21 August 2011

Vacation domination

We are spending a couple of weeks in the alps camping with the kids. Great fun so far, although I wonder if the old van will make it back to the uk, lol. 

Three nights in and sandy and I were alone in the tent for an hour sans kids. Cue playtime! It had been a good few days since we had had a chance. At first sandy said she just wanted a quick orgasm, but it very quickly became apparent to both her and me that she was in full blown cruel mean domme mode. That's what a few days off does to her! After a few minutes of kissing she started to manhandle my cock and balls, Teasing them a little but mostly smacking my balls, hard at first, then harder and harder. My already hard cock grew larger still as the ache spread through my stomach. When not smacking me she would masturbate me, wanking my hard cock, but no ordinary wank, she was digging her long nails deep into the flesh of my cock, making the tease extraordinarily painful as she moved her hand up and down. My naked body was grinding against hers in a mix of agony and pleasure, when the pain became harder to bear I would press my face against her soft breasts, sucking her nipples in deep as I moaned into her. My passion and pain, seeing me leaning in and sucking her breasts, all this brought a light to her eyes that was delicious to see. Seeing me suck her in lust and passion and desperation and pain was turning her on with the power of it making her want to hurt me all the more, which she did. 

I started to pleasure her after a while, she enjoyed this, laying back and moaning gently, but she was a little dry (not uncommon at this point) and I offered to go down on her, making her wet with my mouth. she said (I will never forget this) 'no, you would enjoy that too much, I dont want you to have so much pleasure'. My pain and denial was her aphrodisiac, her desire. 

As I played with her she started to fantasise, with no prompting, about having another man fuck her while I watch, about making me lie under her and suck her clit as he fucked her. She told me his cock would slide against my, Tongue as I licked her, and as she said this I swear she got noticeably wetter. The thought of that truly excited her. she told me he would then fuck her ass as I licked her, and when he came pull out so his cum dripped all over my face. Again she got noticeably turned on at the thought of my face covered in cum and very soon came herself, very hard, imagining my cock sliding into her cum filled ass, using her lovers cum as lube, feeling what I had been denied and still under orders not to cum, just to see what I was missing.

She had a second orgasm shortly after and after as she lay recovering I was hugging her tight, my aching desperate cock rubbing against her hip. 'I know what you are doing' she said. 'stop rubbing against me. I've touched your cock a bit, don't be greedy!' The sheer unfairness of having had two delicious orgasms herself but accusing me of being greedy for just a touch after all that pain, it drove me even deeper into subspace. The whole time my pain and denial had been the main driving factor in her play and her pleasure.

A final little humiliation. She decided to try for a third orgasm. After a couple of minutes of my teasing her soaking wet pussy she decided she didn't have one in her. 'I don't have another' she said and unceremoniously pushed me away, rolled over, pressed her butt against me and drifted off to sleep. Not a word more, no thank you, I was dismissed at her whim, my own pleasure inconsequential. 

Sunday, 7 August 2011

Kinky clubbing

Last weekend sandy and I went to a fetish club. An outdoor one. Lots of great equipment outdoors, an indoor pool (nude of course), good food and a very sunny day. I went with sandy and a friend, actually my 'friends' best friend who is extremely subby.

I'm sadly not in a writing mood so this will be short and sweet. I spent the day switching between subbing to sandy and doming the friend. A strange experience given that from moment to moment I was swapping. one moment I was tying a chest harness and rope arm binder on my friend, next being ordered to get drinks by sandy. The armbinder got a couple of nice compliments! One period I had the friend tied to a pole by her collar, neck stretched out, arms held out to her sides as i whipped her ass deep red, alternating teasing her very wet pussy. A bit later sandy had me pulling a sulky round the field at high speed, laughing her head off at the fun of it, and with a strict order that I was not to pull up my shorts which were gradually falling down with the running. I ended up parked up next to a bunch of mistresses who were very amused at my half exposed ass.

Actually it's a hell of a lot of fun pulling a sulky at speed. Hope I do that again! Not sexual, just plain fun.

Highlight was probably the sulky, a proper kids and go karts experience that, but with nudity thrown in! Next would be the friend who has an uncanny but wicked ability to cum on command. I mean literally head to toe orgasm just by being ordered to. I was stunned how forceful both her orgasms were given I had stopped touching her minutes before the order was given. What's more she stayed horny after. Cool! Now if I could learn how to train a girl to do that the way she was trained I would be dead pleased!


Saturday, 6 August 2011

Am I allowed to fuck?

I had an interesting conversation with sandy today. We were thinking of going to a swingers club some friends invited us to. I mentioned that these days if a cute guy came on to her she was much more likely to play with him. She agreed. I asked if she would mind if I fucked someone while there and her response surprised me in it's strength. No. You are mine.

So there it is, I can play, I can have a sub of my own, but that ultimate act is hers alone. Even while she shares it with others herself she wouldn't want me to do the same.

She said the only pussy my cock will get to feel is hers, and then only rarely. Then she laughed.


Ps. We had a rare but long vanilla lovemaking a few days ago. We must have been fucking for a good part of an hour. Slow, loving, no haste, bodies tight entwined and beautiful. It's a long time since we did that, not even a hint of a naughty fantasy. It was delicious!

Wednesday, 27 July 2011

I have found the holy grail

A year passed. Winter changed into Spring. Spring changed into Summer. Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn. Until one day...

A ring, a ring shalt thou have in thine holiest of holyies. Therein to reside the one they call Prince Albert. Verily shall his presence command the masses, the lowly peniletry, his lowly subject.

And so It came to pass that the prince took up residence, subjugating his peniletry with the aid of his trusty polycarbonate ring of power, magiked into being by the great miller.


So five chastity belts later, home made 1, cb2000, cb6000, neosteel sport, and now pa5000. Finally I have found my grail. I've worn the pa5000 5 days non stop so far, and apart from a very very slight tenderness in the piercing now and then it's been totally comfortable. Not a hint of pain except when I'm absolutely fully erect and at my very hardest.. Then it starts to feedback enough to calm me down. Even the night-time wood does not wake me. And I'm a very light sleeper! The sleep problem was one of the things thats stopped the cb6000 working for me.

I came with it the first night after my ass fucking. I was horny, sandy asleep and after a long time trying I just barely managed to tip over the edge. It hurt so fucking much I will never never do that again, there was no pleasure there.

I conclude then that it is effective, makes it very hard to touch myself, almost impossible to get to the point of Cumming as the feedback gets intense when close, and nobody would want that orgasm twice! I can sleep, ride a motorcycle, play sport, it's very easy to clean and I can even at a push pee standing up. Yet it's constant reminder that I can't cum, that sandy has the key.

I have found the holy grail. Problem is sandy has no intention to let me out yet :) she released me tonight for a long tease and a blow job, and to make her cum. That's six orgasms this week for her, famine to feast! I was then relocked and she hid the key before sending me to hang out the laundry and give her a foot rub.. I have no idea if I will be let out soon but she is enjoying her new found power for now, as am!

Finally the right belt for me, fantastic!

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Arse fucking as therapy?

As if to put the lie to my last post this morning brought probably the best sex I've had in a long while, and the first time for a while I've been on the receiving end of things...

Sandy and I woke up after a boozy and fun night with friends, lazing about in bed and talking about the problems we've been having. Though the conversation was a little uncomfortable at times it was caring on both sides, unlike the last few days. The conversation did not last too long and made us both feel a bit closer.

Cue a little more lazing around and then, no idea why, we starting talking about her fucking me with the strap on. It was obvious it's been two weeks since she had cum as within a minute of this talk she was feeling horny at the thought of taking me that way. I snuggled up closer and whispered in her ear imagine doing that while I was locked in my cock cage, unable to cum while she took me anally. As I said this I teased her pussy gently, and only momentarily. Her response was immediate and unequivocal... 'go and do it now!'

Eh? I wasn't expecting that. I was hard as a rock, I looked at her unsure and she stared me down, Now! She repeated. Get my cock into a cock tube? Yes mistress. I took myself and my tube to the bathroom where I stood under a stone cold shower hoping it would achieve the impossible, the last thing I had seen as I left was my wife's beautiful long legs splayed and her hand sliding up and down her wet slit. My mind kept casting back to that, and what was about to happen. It was a long shower!

I got back to the bedroom with a semi flaccid cock locked in a chastity belt, semi lasted about 2 seconds after I entered the room finding her still spread wide and teasing herself slowly and gently. My hairless submissive looking locked cock Immediately sprang to full (and slightly uncomfortable) hardness and I jumped in bed, crushing my body against hers and teasing her very hot slit with my fingers. Another surprise, she was impatient, desperate for her fantasy to become real. I had barely touched her when she ordered me to get the strap on and her pretty jewelled butt plug. I hesitated, lying on top of her and enjoying the feeling of her skin and breasts against my body, again finding myself surprised as seconds later she said 'Now!' with a don't waste any more time sternness. I did as I was told immediately.

By the time I found the toys she was on all fours, her finger buried between her now very red and swollen labia and her ass exposed waiting for the plug. My tongue went straight to her hole, tasting her pussy then pushing deep into her ass for a few seconds before her demand for me to plug her was repeated. The pretty cold steel plug slipped in so easily, a quick intake of breath at it's widest point and then a low moan as it's cold weight buried inside her made it's presence felt. I could smell her all over my mouth and hands. Wasting no time she got up and slipped the strap on harness on, a pretty leather pair of panties with a Brazilian rear, a thin strap that buries between her pussy lips, and the pink large cock at the front. unable to help myself I leaned in and sucked her cock deep. I love sucking her cock, last time she liked it too, forcing it deep and pressing my head in. This time she let me suck her down twice maybe before again, impatiently, lustfully told me to get on my hands and knees..

It's a big cock, the head popped in painlessly but as soon as she started moving it began to hurt, and I knew the widest part was yet to come. I didn't expect then, that a few thrusts later, as I lay face down on the bed with my arse raised, that she would start moaning like a woman drowning in desire and pressing her pussy against my arse, whispering in my ear how hungry my slutty hole is, that ive taken the whole length in already. I had. I could feel her cool pussy against my arse, it felt sublime... I was moaning like an animal, my arms spread, locked cock grinding against the bed, she was now thrusting in and out hard and fast, forcefully, slapping my arse hard now and then. Pushing my face down into the bed with her hand on the back of my neck, talking so fucking dirty, how I was a slut, she was fucking her slut husband up the arse and using him, debasing him, so dirty. Her butt plug was moving inside her with every thrust as she pounded me. She was on fire, her breasts were rubbing against my back and she leant in with a few especially forcefully thrusts and told me how she was violating me and had my cock locked, no orgasm, just an arse fucking, so so dirty....

Perhaps 10 minutes of this went on, I loved every second, groaning the whole time, when suddenly she lent back, kneeling up, her cock deep deep in my arse, if I could touch myself now I'd come, she said. Do it! I replied and quickly heard her whimpering as her fingers found their way into the front of her leather panties. I craned my neck around, seeing, just out of the corner of my eye, this beautiful dominant woman, naked, pert breasts heaving, her hand in her panties playing, her hips tight against me filling me with her big cock, occasionally thrusting deeper to keep me violated as she took her pleasure. She came heaving, almost screaming, pounding into me a few times for extra stimulation, then slowing down her thrusts as she came down from her cum, lying over my back and relaxing, still deep inside me.

She lay there perhaps five minutes and I, my cock, ached for her with the force of her orgasm..

I was of course expected to give her another orgasm a short while later, for sandy they always come in twos or threes. My own pleasure was not even considered. She wanted me denied, it had enhanced her pleasure.. As I write this I'm still locked.

Holy fuck, I've missed this, and the way she spoke about it she had missed fucking me, had been wanting to do it for a while. I felt about as submissive, as taken, as put in my place as a man can ever feel, lying beneath her, my own wife, my cock locked and my lack of orgasm used as a tool for her pleasure, my arse penetrated, slapped. Her animalistic approach to taking from me what she needed, feeding off my responses and my lust, using me, driving me down deep into the space I needed to reconnect and feel loved.

Thursday, 21 July 2011

Things are tough all over

Extra point to anyone who recognises the reference :)

Things are a bit crap in the outsidevanilla household these days. Part of the reason I'm writing less is because we are doing less. Sandy is getting less and less interested in sex as the months go on.

It started with her going back to work full time a year or so ago. She doesn't cope well with full time work especially when you add two kids into the equation. I've upped the support I'm giving to the point where I am shattered but it's not enough. She is tired, irritable, isn't getting enough downtime and is unable to relax and make the most of it when she does get it. End result is she has nearly no sex drive. We've dropped frequency over the last year down to once a week or less. Even that is a quickie as often as not.

Im well aware that some readers might think once a week is plenty. Sandy sure does. For me though I've compromised over the years from who I really am, a highly sexual man, and as the years went by the compromise got more extreme and harder to bear. Our three year d/s relationship changed that but died as the pressure of her new job took it's toll on her.

The pressure it's putting on us is huge. I'm unhappy and feeling distant from her, and very disconnected from my own sexuality. She is distant and the lack of intimacy is affecting her too. It's causing arguments that resolve nothing. She is trying to make more effort but her effort stops outside the bedroom door. Basically she is flirty but her brain usually shuts down if it looks like it's going to become real.

All in all we are back where we started but with slightly better communication between us. We've tried to halt the slide the last few months with no lasting success. I have no idea where this is leading, no idea why I'm writing this post except that I want to get it off my chest. I'd like to think things will improve but I don't believe that. This problem has been with us for 15 years and if there was a simple solution we would have found it by now.

Sex or job. That's what it boils down to. And we can't afford for her not to work.


Monday, 18 July 2011

Mourning the loss

I find that most of the blogs I used to read when I started blogging are gone. That and being busy mean that I have little interest in reading blogs these days. My own blog is now getting to be a bit of s trooper, which I never expected.

Elle, ms Inconspicuous, lil' flower petal, and so many others have shut down. I realise each time I look at my blogroll that I miss them. Now it's mostly full of tumblr, great for porn but not so much writing lol.

Thumper and Tom Allen are the only blogs that are still going! Although Tom of course started much before then.


Saturday, 9 July 2011

Lasering update

Florida Dom asked what being lasered was like. Well the short answer is painful. It's like a rubber band being snapped against your skin, done repeatedly until the whole area is covered. Some parts are not too painful, others, balls, arse, base of cock hurt like mad. But then I have dark hair and olive skin and absorb a lot of the laser energy. My dark blonde pale skin wife had much less pain.

My cock and balls have had several sessions over the last four months and are very deliciously smooth. My groin has had only one, the latest one. After shaving you get lasered. Then the hair keeps growing, oddly enough. By about two weeks later I had 5-8mm long regrowth, and at that point all the hairs finally die off and start falling out. It's odd but strangely cool seeing them fall away painlessly leaving you bare.

In my case I've been left patchy, about 90% of the hair has been killed. The rest is still strong so it looks, well, mangy lol. One or two more sessions will finish it. Paler haired people take note, you won't get away with 3 sessions. My wife needed 6 and isn't quite perfect yet, although she is yummy already!

Oh and later sessions hurt much less, fewer hairs you see.

Thursday, 7 July 2011

Update on the friend

Well I confess to feeling a little down. Of course having a cold always makes me feel more emotional than usual, but there is also another reason for it. I'm getting myself used to the idea of walking away from the 'friend'. She is a great person and I thought that we could be good friends, and perhaps even lovers. However I've noticed over the last month or so that the relationship is rather one way. When we are together we get on well and have fun, but I find her very flaky at keeping in touch or even responding to a hello. Frankly thats not what i want in my life. I want friends I can rely on a little more. Nothing too intense, but equally its nice to know I'm not the only one thinking of the other.

My conclusion is that she simply doesn't want what I want, or isn't the kind of character I need. Shame as I thought she was and i do rather like her.

I may be mistaken, time will tell, but i doubt it. Shame.

Thursday, 30 June 2011

How to make a metal pa-5000 ring

So as promised a quick tutorial on how to convert a standard ring for a prince Albert to lock in a pa-5000 chastity tube.

First buy a horseshoe ring with a diameter that fits your cock head comfortably. The pa is under some strain when you get hard anyway, you don't want to exacerbate that with a ring that's too small for you cock when it grows hard. The gauge should be whatever You are happy wearing. My advice is not to go below 2.4mm as the smaller the gauge can cut more easily (cheesewire effect). You might get away with 1.6mm though.

Make sure that one of the balls on the end of the ring is screw on, and as large as possible. Don't get an internally threaded ring, the external ones are easier to find and stronger.

Buy or borrow a dremel. Make sure you have a grinding wheel and some cut-off wheels. Also you need a good metal vice.

Now clamp the ring in the vice tight! Make sure one of the balls is attached tight and sticking out above the vice. Use some thin card to protect the ring from the vice. This is going in your cock you do not want microabrasions on the metal that either cut you or provide a home for bacteria. What I mean is put card either side of the ring before you clamp the vice.

Starting with the grinding wheel you want to flatten off the front and back of the ball. Note that they are not parallel but slightly angled in. Make sure you do both sides evenly so you have room to grind a slot later without reaching the screw in the middle of the ball. Also be careful of the relative angle the ring comes out of the ball. That decides how steep or shallow it enters your pa. Use the plastic rings as a template!!

Use water to keep the metal cool if you need to, and keep taking it from the vice and trying in the chastity tube until it is a nice fit. It should end up deep in the lock hole with none of the ball protruding from the hole.

Now it gets a bit harder. With it in the hole turn the lock hard until it leaves a tiny mark on the flat surface of the ball. Use some ink on it if that helps. You need to know where to cut the slot for the lock.

Get your cut off wheels. Depending on thickness you may need 2-3 of them to match the thickness of the locking slot in the plastic ring. Put these on the dremel and you now have a thick wheel that can be used to grind a slot in the flat surface of the ball. Start slow, get the position right! Wear eye protection! Regularly trying the ring in the tube to make sure the slot is correrly placed, and that you don't go deeper than needed. Too deep and you will cut off the threads inside the ball. Eventually you will have a ball with two flat sides, a horizontal slot, it fits nice and snug in the tube and locks in place.

Finally smooth off any sharp edges.

During this process I found that the ball often unscrewed as I ground it. Tighten it up when you need. Once it's a bit flat you can put it against the flat top of the vice to stop further spinning. At the end tighten the ball until the slot is in the right direction to fit the pa-5000 with the ring protruding forwards. Again use the plastic ring as a template.

Last step. Cut off the other end of the horseshoe to a length you prefer. Round off the sharp edge well, this is going to go through your pa regularly it needs to be round, not square and definitely not sharp!! Maybe use a nail file to further smooth the metal until you can't feel any roughness.

Now wash it well and put it on. Hand over the key and be afraid. This baby can't easily be snapped off!

No pubic hair, ever

Well it's official. Sandy has decided she prefers me hairless and has told me to get it lasered off. After mulling the idea for a while I had kind of got attached to my manly dark hair again but it seems having experienced me bare she prefers it.

So I will be getting lasered starting last weekend.

I was not given too much of a choice :) I'm not often playing sub to her these days but at some level she still considers herself to be in charge. This is one of those occasions.

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Alter egos

Pet, goddess, cad.

All names I've recently heard on the scene for alter egos, in some cases even a normal but different name will do. Which led to a discussion about power exchange in a long term relationship. Is it possible for the majority of us or does it eventually reach a level equilibrium without too much excess.

I know there are exceptions. Please don't identify this or that exception. But i ask, for most of us can it be done? I am a pretty demanding dom, but found myself wondering if the darker recesses of that persona could come out with someone I had lived with, had children with. Would pet get the best part of me while my wife would be treated with kid gloves in comparison. In other words do I need to separate myself from my life partner to be truly dominant.

Vice versa for a sub.

It's something that has me thinking now, and also wondering if I'm unusual in these thoughts, or if the alter ego is other people's way of separating themselves to help them manage this problem.

A fun evening

Spent the evening having beers with my 'friend' and her best friend. Fun, and amusing talking kink in the middle of a bar in central London. Turns out my friend is more experienced than I thought, but still very new to it all and finding her feet.

Still not sure where this is going, but having fun anyway.

In the middle of it pet texted me with a picture of my horny pussy, as I had ordered. This made me smile on so many levels. The fact that she is such a good sub, so horny and in my palm. Also it made me almost spit out my drink in amusement, being sat in a bar with a girl I'm flirting with while my desperately horny sub sends me pictures of my property. very cute wet property it was too!

Pet if you read this, thanks for bringing a smile to my face, and sorry about your frustration but hey, it works for me!


Saturday, 25 June 2011

The highlight of the evening?

I wanted to be pampered. Ordered my very horny, in fact dripping pet to prepare the shower for me, then wash my body, head to toe, and dry me. I've never enjoyed a shower so much. Just relaxing as a very needy pet caressed and washed every inch of my body thoroughly, keeping one hand on my cock when she could. I think she enjoyed herself too!

Told her she should be honoured to be allowed to wash and enjoy my body like that.

After I lay on the bed reading a while as she kissed and licked my arse.


Friday, 24 June 2011

Drink with my pet

Im at the pub with my pet and have some truly enjoyable plans for the evening.

Many of them will involve her mouth, but she won't be allowed to speak!

She's currently in the toilets edging herself for my amusement. I expect she will be a nervy wreck soon, heheh.

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Prince Albert chastity update

It turns out my pa is not a quick healer. It's still not strong and needs reasonably gentle handling if it's not to get tender. Perhaps it's the presence of a previous pa that does it, or it's just me. I think it's going to need a couple of years to be properly strong.

However I really wanted to try the pa5000 and it's plastic rings are too thick a gauge for me. Also, plastic is so easy to break. Where is the security in that? So my trusty dremel and I set about converting a horseshoe ring to fit. I am currently locked in as a trial. So far I've worn it 24 hours. It's extremely comfortable except for nighttime erections that cause the sensitive piercing area a bit of stress. It will be great in a year or two.

If anyone is interested in how to make their own metal pa5000 ring please comment and I will post more on it.

Mixed up and happy

I'm Afraid my blog, what of it there us with such rare posting, is rather mixed up these days. I have a sub, the deliciously responsive mrs discontented. She brings out the wicked in me something fierce. I have my adorable wife sandy. She isn't especially dominant these days, but has flashes of it. She can best be described as a selfish hungry slut right now. And cock tease. She loves me to abuse her for her pleasure, and enjoys 'not' returning the favour. Neither sub nor Dom but kinky for sure.

At some level I am submissive to her, but only very very loosely at the moment.

I have another friend. She is pretty, fun and has the cutest accent (shes American). So far we've only kissed but given time I see adventurous and likely submissive tendencies in her. Who knows where this will lead.

So my plate is rather full these days. But I don't know if I'm coming or going, top or bottom or just plain 'perve' as mrs d says. Actually I do, I'm switching between modes very easily, but I don't know what any given week may bring.

That's all for now folks. Except for this. Mrs d if you are reading, your last orgasm is on tuesday. Better make it a good one!


Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Slightly nervous

A conversation with sandy tonight while playing. Seems she wants me to get my chastity belt sorted soon. And she doesn't seem like she's going to be generous with the orgasms.


Wednesday, 11 May 2011

Domination, that's what we need ...

I keep meaning to write an update on my time with my delicious sub. I haven't found enough time to do it justice but a few quick words are in order.

She gives a mean blow job. I certainly enjoyed lying back and relaxing as she worshipped my cock, slow and lazy. I could really get used to that,and to the delicious happy noises she made doing it.

Rope harness. I've done quite a few but never before combined one with a spanking. What a great way to control a person. She wasn't tied, all limbs free. But I could grab a handful of rope to stop poor mrs d escaping while I spanked her ass longer and harder than I've ever done before. And each time she tried to crawl away a convenient rope handle dragged her back, pulling on her breasts as an added benefit. Rope is controlling I'm such a delicious sexy looking and dynamic way. Of course my sexy little pet squirming and begging didn't add to my pleasure at all!

I can't remember highlights but I did tease the poor lass mercilessly. We had a lovely lunch (scuzzy burgers in a proper English cafe of all places!), lovely mostly for her company :) then back for more chatting and more play.


Thursday, 28 April 2011

She is so deliciously subby!

I've met a lovely girl funnily enough through her blog. She is cute, very sassy, and so deliciously subby it's hard to resist pushing and teasing her more and more :) being a fellow blogger I know she could read this so I won't go in to too many details but suffice to say I am fizzing with ideas to tease and torment her. Lol!

I emailed her after reading that she wanted to try shibari. I adore rope bondage but it takes a lot of time and practice, I've not yet found anyone to practice and play with regularly. I actually didn't expect a reply especially considering that to my knowledge she had no idea who I was. It turns out she reads my blog.

The email back was, she hoped, reserved. I found it refreshingly open and very enthusiastic, lol. To cut a long story short we emailed, texted, chatted, got on very well. She doesn't live very close but it's close enough. She is very submissive with a cheeky bratty side that makes me smile and gives me good excuses to be mean. Poor abused subby, I've got her churning up inside with lust and frustration at times. While I am sure we will play with rope plenty when we meet, I'm glad that it's progressed beyond that. She is now my sub, and becoming a friend. Hope we get on in person, pretty sure we will. Whats fantastic is that she really gets being a sub, the whole I want it and don't want it dynamic that so appeals to my dark side.

I don't know if i will put many details on here yet, we will see.

Sandy is fantastic about it. She is more than happy that I've found her and supportive of this. I can't ask for more.

So meet Mrs Discontented. Hopefully slightly less so now :)

Monday, 11 April 2011

Quick sub story

He knelt in the hotel room waiting for her to arrive. They had been flirting for a while going back and fore with text message, getting to know one another, sharing dirty little fantasies… but this was the first time they met.

His heart pounded.
She had found his submissive streak and it had appealed to her. She knew that she had to experience it, take it in hand and let herself loose. She had got excited many times imagining what she would do if she were there. She knew what she wanted and tonight she had demanded nothing less than his complete submission. So he waited, totally naked except for a collar and leash, and blindfold, his body nude, legs spread. At her demand he had shaved his cock and balls completely, his submission highlighted by his hairless state. She had insisted on that! From one wrist hung a cuff waiting for her to attach it to the other wrist. The hotel room door was closed but unlocked.

His heart pounded.

She had dressed for the occasion. She had considered a number of outfits, classic dress, leather domme, simple lingerie or even something like a nurses uniform but in the end had settled on a business suit. For the simple reason that she felt powerful wearing it, and her smart dress highlighted his naked, plaything status. So she had dressed, smart black panties, stockings, black bra and a crisp white shirt. A knee length skirt and jacket completed her look. She fully expected to make him work to even get a peek up her skirt. As for an orgasm? This night was about her pleasure and she was in the mood to tease. She had already decided that he would make her cum, but she intended to send him away hard, aching, dripping with need for her still, her taste lingering on his mouth and face…

She finished her drink, walked up to the room 10 minutes late, she expected him to wait, then pushed open the door…

A little play

We had a little play at the weekend. Sandy, poor girl, ended up having 5 orgasms given to herself. I was required to kneel on the floor and watch, masturbate, put on a show for her and be real close to the edge and not cum. I wasnt allowed to touch her pussy at all, not even once, though she allowed me to suck her fingers clean.

Seeing me dripping horny and realising she had yet another orgasm in her she would give this delighted wicked laugh, then bury her fingers in her snatch again, having her pleasure once more.

Im still unsatisfied and very very horny!


Monday, 28 March 2011

I'm going on a sub hunt

A drink for the person who guesses the song behind the twisted lyrical association.

Actually been looking for a few weeks. Might have struck lucky. Early days but she is smart, confident and very naughty. Lives miles away, let's hope when we meet we click!

With Sandys blessing. How cool is that?

Regarding sandy, she's is loving being abused these days. A few days ago she came with my cock deep inside her pussy, my fingers deep in her ass, face down and being well and truly fucked and forced. She came so damn hard and I timed my orgasm with hers, as my cock grew that extra bit and started to pulse it set off a higher peak in her orgasm. She was limp after, didn't even twitch when I pulled my fingers out.

I enjoyed that!

Friday, 18 March 2011

Red pant day

Today I've been asked to wear sandy's red panties because it's red nose day in the uk.

She was very entertained watching me put them on and get embarrassed.


Saturday, 12 March 2011

Photo pervery

So heels and hedone seem to like my bum. Being a bit of an exhibitionist I thought I might put it out for all to see.

Sorry for the rough pic. Been under a camper swapping engines all day!

M xx

Monday, 28 February 2011


Well im amazed and touched that some of you are still here and interested in an update...

A few weeks ago on thumpers blog I wrote

'A year or two of strict orgasm control did bring sandy and I together. It created strains also, but on balance was good for us. Now the flr dynamic is behind us and I come when i like. It’s a strange feeling and I feel a keen sense of loss. However I have no interest in going back to being orgasm controlled and the longer time passes the less I want to actually go back. I wonder if it’s a phase or if I’ve had the submissive ‘burned out’. I only see it as a game I would play occasionally.

Yet, i worry about the lack of the cement that was added to our marriage by her owning my sexuality.'

This remains true, although I dont feel the loss anymore. I believe that the sub really was burned out of me, my vanilla and dominant sides are much more to the fore these days. I fantasise about being submissive, but its only an occasional bedroom thing. It was harder being a sub, constantly being gnawed at being horny and not in as much control of my day, whereas now I can cum and relax, I generally feel more relaxed. The loss of the dynamic has not affected us, which is good. Sandy tells me I am a much more caring husband for having done this for three years, so obviously a fair chunk of it has stuck... No bad thing and probably why the change has not been bad for us.

Also, and lets not underestimate this, its mid winter, we are both very busy at work and tired, colds and flu have taken their toll. Come summer and higher sex drive things will hot up I am sure. I am also fairly sure we will go back to being sub and Mistress again someday, not soon, and I suspect for shorter periods, but we will. Its not like we have stopped being kinky, but we are both rather enjoying this unusual thing called vanilla together.

Sandy has broken up with her boyfriend. Partly she found that she connects better with me without him around, she is a one man woman emotionally. Sex with others is an occasionaly thing for her we think. But also because he was getting much harder work, more demanding. She has a relationship, family, kids, demands. She doesnt need more demands. Had he stayed an occasional fun friend and fuck she may well still be seeing him, she liked his company and enjoyed the sex a lot. After all his pressure (he wanted a lot more of her) she is glad to be out of it, though she has no regrets. For me it was fun, we explored a fantasy which we both enjoyed, she has rediscovered her breasts as a source of sexual pleasure (which has of course brought me benefits). So on balance fun while it lasted, and some small benefits to the relationship.

One final thing, I decided to get lasered after all, my cock, balls and arse are now permanently hair free and very smooth, as is Sandy's delicious pussy, which has just a landing strip to show me the way. Cuntilicious she calls it, and it is! Maybe I will show you a picture...


Sunday, 9 January 2011

a short update

Sorry everyone for the time since my last update. Everything is ok with Sandy and me, but there have been a few changes.

1 - Sandy and I went through a short patch of arguing nastily just before christmas. Bit of a relapse of our old patterns. It has passed now but play was quiet between us for a little while, partly because of that and partly because of course its a busy time for those of us with kids!

2 - I read thumpers update on turbulence which mirrored what Sandy and I were feeling. Perhaps we felt it a bit more deeply. I was feeling less subby, maybe tiredness, maybe the argument, but mainly because we have lived this lifestyle for a long time now and I think it was getting a bit tiring, like we needed a break and to reset ourselves. Sandy felt it too, hard to say which of us needed the break more but once we argued we stopped playing for a short while, then found that actually we were enjoying the break from d/s. I suspected this was coming for a couple of months before christmas but wasnt sure of myself.

3 - Sandy cuckolding me (specifically having vanilla sex with her boyfriend) got her back into penetrative sex and more traditional sex. Kind of got her enjoying it again. She realised she missed it and rather liked me taking a bit more control during sex occasionally.

So cut a long story we have done d/s a long time and need a break. Thats what we are doing. I am masturbating practically daily, we have mostly vanilla sex and i have fucked her quite a few times in the last month. Its been really rather cool and we have both enjoyed it. Sandy did say that my stint as her sub has made me a more gentle and easygoing husband. I dont know how long it will last, a month, a year? There is no sign yet of either of us tiring of it. I am fairly sure we will go back to d/s sometime but I have no idea at all when.

As for Sandy's boyfriend and cuckolding...? She is still kind of seeing him but once a week was proving too much, she didnt have enough time and energy to do that, see enough of her family, see her friends and do her hobbies. They havent seen each other for about three weeks. It may be that she calls it off soon, or perhaps it just settles down to friends with benefits. Only time will tell. She enjoyed it and apart from the pressure to see more of him its been good fun.

In the meantime updates to this blog may be very much less frequent, as there isnt so much to blog about :) Now and then Im sure I will pop up!


a sho4t update