Screaming orgasm

That’s what I want, what I need. Im craving it something crazy. I want to slide inside my wife, her hot wetness enveloping my cock, squeezing me, feeling her body brushing against mine, her breasts against my chest. I need to fuck her so badly, cum inside her and feel her cum around me. 

Its not to be. In fact I texted her yesterday saying something like the above. Her response… ‘No! Not a chance!’

Its what she and he get.

This time last year sandy found a lover, though that didn’t end too well. Didn’t think we would be here again but she has found another. To say he turns her on is putting it mildy. She is almost continuously damp, several times a day a text from him will turn her on, or an interaction between sandy and I, usually in some way related to the lover, will do the same. We are having sex several times a week. Well sex of sorts.

Since she first started playing with him she and I had been fantasising about what it would be like. She suggested that my orgasms should be contingent on him, so my single weekly orgasm would only occur if she had made him cum that week. In person, phone sex doesn’t count. Hot fantasy, it was a fun night that night, but I later realised she was totally serious. My cock is burning, aching for release, but I know that I will only cum less often than her lover now. Its making me ache and bury myself deep in submission to her. That’s only the start.

Since she first fucked him I have been banned from being inside her pussy. She has reserved it for her lover. For now and the indefinite future her pussy belongs solely to him.

Since she first sucked him she has not sucked me. She keeps telling me how much she enjoyed going down on him, how he expected it, how it made her wet feeling his hot cock hard in her mouth. For now she refuses to take my cock in her mouth, in fact the relish, the delicious and wicked look in her eyes when she refuses, and the almost instant wetness in her panties when she refuses me is driving me crazy.

For now at least my orgasms are limited by him, only he gets to fuck her, to be sucked by her. Every time I look at her naked body I see something I lust after, something I used to be able to just take, before she became dominant. Now I see this most beautiful sexy woman who for years has been my domme, has allowed sex only on her terms and usually for her pleasure, offer to him her body, her pussy, and let him take and use her like a toy. He has now fucked her several times, gone down on her for hours, and used her however he wanted. Her mouth has been on his cock more in the last two weeks than it has on mine in the last year. He has told her to dress up for him which she has done with delight. Her vanilla and slightly submissive side has come out to play, but only with him. The more she enjoys that side of herself with him, the more she is getting off on denying me. Her excitement is being greatly increased by dwelling on how everything she willingly offers him, everything I so crave, she denies. Each time I beg to be inside her her obvious lust in saying no makes me understand, in no uncertain terms, that I am her sub and that she loves to be mean to me, it turns her on. My place is to be abused and teased, his to enjoy her charms. Needless to say I have made her cum a lot recently.

Until now. For now even that has been denied me. They are planning to get together on Monday, so for almost the last week she has not cum, saving it for him, wanting to be truly horny when he takes her. I have been banned from making her cum, or seeing her cum, although I get to pleasure her often. After Monday who knows, but she has discussed continuing it (as long as our intimacy is not affected). If the time between seeing him is too long she may masturbate, perhaps with him on the phone. I will not be allowed to see that. While I was teasing her a few nights ago she even said how it would feel if after a few months she sent me a video of her cumming with him, the first time I would have been allowed to see her cum for months. She was dripping wet when she was saying this, grinding her pussy into my hand.

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Does this sound extreme? Damn right it is, it’s a roller coaster. We are so much in love its unreal, and both having a lot of fun. I am crazy horny, its almost impossible to bear, and she feeds off that. How long will the denial last? Well the single orgasm a week has always been her rule while we are in d/s mode, that could be years. The rest? The lack of pussy could easily last for the entire time she sees him, although once in a while she says she may fuck me. The blow job, and especially the lack of making her cum… That will probably be much shorter, as she says she is the boss and doesn’t like to get tied down in any way, including her own rules. She will do it until she feels like not doing it. Im guessing a week or two, perhaps up to a month or two. Who knows. Sandy is nothing if not capricious and she may decide to fuck me senseless this side of Christmas, but the odds are massively against it. In her words, its up to her, she is the boss, and as long as our intimacy does not suffer she will do what she likes for as long or short as she wants.

As she pointed out when I discussed intimacy with her, right now this game is doing the opposite, bringing us together.

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One last thing. She owed me a blow job from a couple of months back, for some reason or another. She has decided that debt has been paid now, to her lover!

Sandy speaks

Referring to the last post about wether we can go back. I think you say it all really. You are right that the whole marriage would be affected if we tried to go back. I think the marriage would survive but might be tough going for a while, but it is a moot point really! Neither of us want to stop! It's weird though that I am enjoying vanilla elsewhere - maybe with time it will become less vanilla with him - I'm really not sure it will though.

I'm very happy with the way things are - it makes it easier to sit down and relax knowing you are happy to do the chores, I still struggle with that sometimes.

I'm worried after the weekend that it brings out too much selfishness. I don't worry any more that I am not kinky enough for you though!!! I will have to keep an eye on it to keep a reasonable balance between being in charge and getting my way with doing enough of what you need too.

Can we ever go back?

I have often wondered about this question and certain conversations recently on the chastity forums have got me thinking again. I think for us the answer is no, we could not.

This has been a long slow progression to where we are today. Lots of stops and reversals along the way since I introduced kink to our life. For most of the time I was the dominant one, both day to day and in the bedroom. Once we started switching roles it was still a game. Sandy wasnt sure she enjoyed it much for some years, and didnt think she was comfortable in the dominant role. So it remained a game, she liked aspects of it, tickling and teasing, but mostly it remained something we did now and then for fun.

Three years ago that changed. The reasons I wont go into here, but they were changes in my wife that were not only related to kink but to her whole life. She discovered parts of herself she had not known existed and became pretty quickly comfortable letting herself go. This included in the bedroom, with kink generally, and with her dominance also. She blossomed. With it our marriage also blossomed, and at the same time I made many changes in my interaction with her to support and care for her more. In time this has all got tied up with the d/s life we now lead.

She loves being in control, in and out of the bedroom. Its 24/7 but not in the total power exchange sense. We speak as equals, I will stand up when I feel strongly about things. But what works for her is that she knows that if she gives me that look, if she tells me to go do, I will do it. Quickly. She can stop me in my tracks and redirect me. She can offload her work on to me and while she still occasionally feels bad about it, especially when im tired too, knows that I will do it, because she wants it, because she needs to relax, because I love her and want her to be able to relax the stresses in her mind and offload them, on to me if necessary. These things make her feel loved, supported, and the control aspect makes her feel powerful and completely worshipped. Its fun, loving, caring, exciting and even a bit mean at times. Yes she has a mean streak and loves to let it out, many interactions between us now involve something a bit teasing or mean. A shadow of a kiss that doesnt quite connect leaving me gasping for her, a smack on the arse or a pinch of the nipple, her sliding her clothes from her body seductively at night knowing I am transfixed, and knowing she has denied me orgasm. A tickle before bedtime. These are also constants in our life now.

There is also a great deal of vanilla love, hugs, kisses, from the outside you would not see any of the d/s. But we know the edge that lies beneath it always.

Whats in it for me? Well Im submissive, more so than I used to realise. Its such a sexual thrill seeing the disparity between us, seeing her getting more sex than me, asking, no lets be honest sometimes ordering me to do certain chores while she sits and reads her book. Handing me her empty plate with a haughty air for me to take to the dishwasher (with a touch of a tongue in cheek smile). She is a buzzy woman who finds it hard to relax, i have spent years trying to help her do it. So I get fulfilled knowing this lifestyle has empowered her to relax more often without guilt, and I also benefit later that day from a happier more relaxed partner. I feel like I have looked out for her. Any man with a protective nurtering nature will know how much it means to protect the woman you love from lifes troubles, and I often feel that sense strongly.

And the sex... Its fantastic. She has it turns out a hell of a sadistic streak, and I have a hell of a masochistic one. We click in the bedroom and are always exploring old games, and occasionally new ones. She can be very mean, more so than I would always want, which of course feeds the submissive in me because I am having my limits pushed, and encourages her dominance to grow also, which makes her feel free, but also paradoxically makes her feel loved.

Notice how often I have mentioned love and care. And thats the rub. This lifestyle has brought out a level of love and caring for each other that we never had consistently before. We had flashes of it but we never knew how to sustain it. This way of interacting, these roles we have taken on provide a framework for interaction that encodes within it those things we both value as our own love language. It has also brought a fantastic sex life and an outlet for her dominant nature and my submissive side. Last but not least it has given her, in her own head, permission to break free her inner passion.

In the last three years we have forgotten how to be vanilla. Now and then we have a break for a change, but we dont know what to do. How to interact day to day, how to have sex. Its a lovely change but thats all it is, a break. I never quite shake off being her sub, she never quite shakes off her teasing nature. In bed we have to work hard to stay vanilla as we keep sliding back into our d/s roles. Partly this is habit, but mostly it is that this is now who we are. As Thumper said in his post stacks, this has now become one of the most solid foundations of our marriage.

It took a long time to get here, but I firmly believe that to go back now would be almost impossible and furthermore would risk the very marriage itself. As Sandy herself says (and it warms me to hear it), she doesnt see herself as sometimes wife or sometimes mistress, there is no longer a distinction, she is both. And same on my side for me. Its beautiful.

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One little side note. I revealed our lifestyle to a very close vanilla friend of mine recently. He was curious as to why we were so much happier these days, and I know him so well that if I cant tell him it would feel like a lie between us. I trust him. So I told him the whole story (without the gory details!!!).

Surprisingly he almost completely understood. He did wonder how being told to do stuff regularly didnt make me get rebellious, but kind of understood that it met my need to care for my wife. I asked him if he had noticed anything between Sandy and I earlier in the evening (she had left by this time) and he said no. All he had seen was a couple in love who interact lovingly and touch each other a lot in passing. He had not noticed, even once I pointed it out, the occasional look she had used on me, the teasing one, or the do this now or else one. Open air dominance and submission yet even a close friend had no inkling anything was going on. Sandy and I find that very entertaining.

Unbound

I got woken up at about 12:30 by footsteps running down the garden to the summer house. A flushed and relaxed but tired looking Sandy came in smiling, sat on the bed and began to untie me. She told me that she had had fun, and that it had taken her a while to get him home as he was very comfortable lying around.

Once back in bed she made her need very clear. She had not cum and after making me go down on her and lick her pussy, the pussy he had been inside (she was very clear about why she was making me go there), she took my hand and put it between her legs. I know what to do! I teased her and played with her, backing off several times until she cried out in frustration 'just fucking do it'. Soon after that I took her over the edge in a very powerful orgasm. She was much louder than usual and it lasted a long long time. The aftershocks probably lasted a minute or more. Not long after that a second orgasm, and then she told me in her domme voice that she was tired and we were going to sleep.

I went to sleep frustrated, horny, and with my cock nestled against her soft pert ass, and my arms around the woman I love.

Birthday card

For my birthday sandy sent me a lovely card saying that we had had our best year yet. This felt great to hear. She also signed it off with her mistress name, used on her ic profile. The gooey subby feeling as I read it was overwhelming. She said later that she did it because its now so much part of who we are, and that she thinks it has significantly contributed to our happiness.

Rules I live by

I have mentioned that we are living more and more in a 24/7 d/s relationship, albeit not a particularly extreme one. As part of that I have a set of rules I need to keep to. I have added a page keeping them up to date, the link is at the top of my blog, or you can get to it here.