Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friendship. Show all posts

Sunday, 31 October 2010

Problems and consequences

Inevitably problems have reared their head. There are quite a few factors that have come into play and caused this, and Sandy and I had a very nasty few days with lots of arguments. Now sorted, I think.

Historically we used to have problems with Sandy spending quality time with me, in that she didnt and we were growing apart. Its something I am sensitive about. She also has a very hot temper and when under stress it can come out. When its out its really bad! Over the last few months with her being back at work and us socialising more as the kids grow up she has found herself more tired and stressed, even with the extra load I have taken on. This has meant a nasty argument about once a month. She sings in a choral society twice a week, plays piano, now also sees her boyfriend once a week, and of course we see normal friends. Doesn't leave a lot of time in the evening once kids are thrown into the equation. Our already somewhat limited time has been put under more pressure.

Trying to work with that we have been more proactive about arranging time with each other, but so far its not worked. Sometimes she is tired, exacerbated by her other interests. Sometimes she has been more focussed on texting the new guy rather than focussing on us. Up to a point this is natural, its new and exciting, but a balance needs to be struck and it hadn't been. Finally as she is still a bit shy about it she tends to talk a lot about him in non-sexual aspects, but the fun stuff she has tended to keep to herself. Since this is something we are doing together its become a bit less together as a result. He has also fallen for her, and though I know he isnt a threat the emotion he has developed has triggered a touch of jealousy on my part, which I am working through.

The lack of time and togetherness preceedes the boyfriend by a long way. This hiccup is 70% work and life and our history, and 30% the extra pressure related to him. Though I concede that it was perhaps the trigger on an already time pressured week.

Cue a few days on very nasty arguments. Actually two very simple issues related to managing the above, that could easily have been sorted out had her stress and temper not caused it to get out of hand. Its taken a good three days to cool off and talk through enough of it to make headway. The solution is fairly simple, make more effort to spend quality time with each other. Sandy is considering dropping one of her singing groups to make more time for herself as she feels she needs to relax more. Finally she had not realised that she hadnt been telling me enough about her and the guy, and admitted that in the cold light of day she is too shy to get into any detail. So she agreed that sometimes when we play she will tell me more and tease me. Not that it was hard to get her to agree, she loves to tease me about it and did often when we were just thinking of getting into this. So effectively she is remembering to do something she loves.

Finally of course a little more communication between us while I get used to the idea that while this isnt a threat to us, there is more emotion than we expected. That takes getting used to.

I am very grateful to three fellow bloggers for advice that helped. Mistress Milliscent who advised that this takes adjustment, and one who will remain anonymous (if you are reading you know who you are) who told me about his own experience and the need for communication, and Heels who similarly gave me her experience. Thanks to you guys I was careful to talk about these issues before they had become too big to deal with.

So we are back in a good place, and soon i will write about the next time we had sex :)

ps. In case it seems that she is at fault and I am not, I also have a very hot temper, and while I did not start these arguments, once they flared I was no saint!

pps. I missed my deadline for shaving myself because of the above. I remembered but was too fired up to do it. I have been told to expect a punishment for taking too long. This makes me feel happy, loved and forgiven. Strange I know but its reaffirming that we are happy, that I am her sub and she loves me enough to want it.

Thursday, 21 October 2010

Birthday card

For my birthday sandy sent me a lovely card saying that we had had our best year yet. This felt great to hear. She also signed it off with her mistress name, used on her ic profile. The gooey subby feeling as I read it was overwhelming. She said later that she did it because its now so much part of who we are, and that she thinks it has significantly contributed to our happiness.




Wednesday, 20 October 2010

Saturday night dancing

Saturday night she was out with her lover at a trendy london club, one of those places that celebs and footballers go. It seems he knows the owner there. I spent saturday evening pleasuring her, lying in bed with my cock in her hand edging me while I brought her to the brink of orgasm several times. She did not allow me to make her cum though, she is enjoying denying me that and wants to save it for him (not that he has managed to make her cum yet, ha!). After that I made her a gin and tonic (she demanded one) and was then on my knees naked holding her drink while she got dressed. I was allowed to kiss her feet several times and her freshly shaved pussy once or twice, but mainly I admired her beautiful form as she dressed, occasionally holding her drink up to her when she needed it and taking it from her outstretched hand when she was done. No please or thank you was said, she just looked imperiously at me as she did it. I was totally in my place on my knees and she totally loved seeing me there. Part way through I was ordered to put on my chastity belt before kneeling back down with her drink in hand. She ended up wearing black patent high heels, sheer black tights, very short very tight pinstrip skirt and a slightly see through sparkly black top with bare arms. Deep red lips and dark eyes.

In an aside while looking for her coat she found the harness for our strap on which we thought we had lost. Fantastic. I noted that she could use it on me soon and her eyes lit right up. Its been a while since she has fucked me and it seems she has missed it.

Before she left the house we made out, she was grinding her crotch into the front plate of my belt, teasing my mouth by fucking it with her tongue and breathing heavily into me. I had her firm butt in my hands which was barely contained by her skirt. It was obvious I was melting with lust and desire for her and equally obvious she was utterly enjoying herself. I kissed her a final goodbye, dropped to my knees and kissed each of her feet, the last thing I kissed before she left the house to meet the other man.

Further update after the visit...

Sandy was tired before she went out and did not want a late night, nor did she want to go to his place afterwards. I was expecting her home by 2:30 at the latest. I had said it was fine if she wanted to go out later but to text me so I didn't worry. She said she would.

I worked till about one then went to bed. Woke at 2:30, just by chance not by design and checked the time and for messages. Nothing, but that's fine. A little while later texted her to see if she was having a nice time. More of a gentle check up. No reply but I knew in the club she wouldn't have her phone, so I started worrying a bit but told myself I shouldn't. After another hour I was so concerned I sent another text asking if she was OK. I got a reply a few minutes later but it was very cryptic and did little to ease my mind. I asked what she meant. No reply. Now I was really worried but I didn't want to disturb her when she is probably fine and I am just being silly. I couldn't shake it off though. At four I texted one last time and when I got no reply I decided it was enough and called her, getting through on the second attempt only, more worry. She said she was OK and on her way home and my heart stopped beating quite so fast.

I was so damned worried, I wondered if I had overreacted but thinking about it later I realised that so many things had not added up that I was right to. Even her odd reply which it turns out had been her trying, while receiving oral, to tell me she had cum twice. Lovely idea crap execution. It was so odd I wondered if someone else had her phone.

She was very apologetic. We hugged, she told me she loved me and a bit about her night before she went to sleep. I slept badly and my dreams were full of anger at her. My subconcious was telling me something that I hadn't realised while awake. I was angry with her for scaring me.

Next day we talked about it, she agreed she had been very silly not to get in touch and had between swept up in the moment. She agreed I had good reason to worry and did not want me not to check up on her as she liked the security net. We agreed on a sign in her texts to show she is OK and it really is her, and she will be more careful next time.

Panic over, but by god it scared me.

Anyway she had a really good time but my own experience was rather overshadowed.


Friday, 6 March 2009

I finally met my Domme

Yesterday for the first time ever i met my online Domme. Sandy knew I was meeting her for lunch, as did her partner, its nice to be able to be so open about it! No jealousy from sandy, and her man knows her well enough to not worry either. In fact as we chatted we agreed that a lot of very fun kink becomes possible when enough trust and no jealousy are in play. She and I could go to very dark places indeed!

But of real interest is how we got on. Over there last two years our friendship has grown pretty solid, I know her very well, and she knows me. I think she will always be a friend, but the play has come and gone depending on circumstance. When we met she was exactly as I expected, looks gorgeous, cold Grey eyes, sexy brunette, lovely figure. More importantly her character was as i expected, sweet fun and very very naughty. I 'm very glad to have met her finally, lovely lady.

What i don 't know is how, if at all, meeting in real life will change the relationship, either friendship or the d/s competent. I feel it will and already has, but I can 't put my finger on how. I do know that she is very hard to read at times, so only time will tell. Watch this space.

But god I 'd be tempted to play in real life, her raw sensuality and plain badness, spark, and how well she knows me, would make it a blast!

Sunday, 15 February 2009

More of the same - how dull :)

Last night was valentines night. We went out for a lovely meal. She had a surprise card from me, and an en even more surprise bottle of perfume. She was happy to be surprised, im not normally a valentines kind of guy, but I felt like treating her extra special this year.

She wore a beautiful wraparound dress, leather knee boots, hold-ups and no panties. So i was happy :)

A delicious meal, the best part was her crispy duck salad, I couldnt stop picking at it! My own dish was pretty tasty but looking at my wife, I decided she was the most appetising thing at the table.

After going for a drive to see the surroundings we went home to bed. There she decided she wanted to be teased and edged as if she were with another man or two, being used. I was only too happy to oblige. Turnabout is fair play and I ended up on my back with her strap-on up my ass, with her bent over rubbing my cock between her breasts. I woudnt have imagined that to be possible, but hey it wss hot! Needless to say however that my orgssm was yet again spoilt. She had considered giving me a proper one but apparently when she was fucking me I had been too demanding, she had pretended to be the angry Domme (very sexy) and that was that... Personally I think its an excuse and she wasnt going to anyway.

After a long sensual afterglow she rolled over, told me to get my chastity belt and put it on. She wanted me to lock it (making me abuse myself). When I asked her how she felt she said 'powerful'. I couldnt believe that she would do that on Valentines day, but like I said she is getting more dominant.

So here I am locked and still horny, she is asleep and beautiful in my bed. Wow.

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By the way about a month and a half ago I sent her the following email. I didnt think that she would act on it with such 'evil' timing.

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Wanting a tease and not wanting it, so - here goes (deep breath)

sometime in the next month or two would you mind locking me up one night without warning. For a time of 1 or 2 weeks, its your choice. Its up to you how often if at all you let me out in that time. I would like lots of teasing so I dont feel forgotten. Mind you I would offer as much tea, foot massages, back rubs while you read, or any other tasks you would like to ask or demand of me :) Of course you are in charge (as always) so any tickling, spanking, face sitting or other meanness you enjoy is fine by me. We could even make love during that period, although it may be a little one way, hahah. Unless I am sore or there is some other really good reason dont let me talk you out of cutting the denial short. I might ask to swap belts every now and then for comfort. I hope you dont mind my tone, im trying not to sound demanding while getting my idea across.
One last thing, I would love it if you made me eat my cum when I do have an orgasm at the end, especially if its inside you!

If you are ok with this please put it in your diary so it doesnt get forgotten, and lock me up on that day come what may. I dont want to know when, happy to have a nasty surprise!

If you dont want to do it I really do understand, its your choice entirely.

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

A few random thoughts and exposure to friends

My wife is a 'turned in only' sub. And she has to be even more turned on to be a domme. Me I am both Dom and sub every day, although more so when horny. I can usually switch either way given the right partner. However to top me my partner needs to be strong, only one woman has every managed it. My wife does but its more of a game, she still isnt, and may never be at the stage where she demands enough control that I SUB rather than choose to play sub... Its fun nonethless!

Its easy to get bored, do the same thing until it doesnt excite anymore. We vary our play or fantasies over the years. We had a ponyplay phase, lesbian phase, cuckold phase etc (hardcore fantasies and milder play).

One discussion at chastityexperiment talked about wanting to be exposed in a chastity belt. One of my wifes friends knows about it. In fact I once had the fun of massaging her head to toe in her bedwear while I was locked. She said that since I was locked it was safe to ask me to do that. She is very cute and I enjoyed it immensely. Two of my friends know as well, but they are both kinksters, one even used to be a pro-domme. Its not as exciting them knowing, although still some :) I admit though that I would never tell a non-kinkster again without serious thought.

Thursday, 29 May 2008

Excellent news, horny and dripping with need

Excellent news. My friend who had an op and lost her sex drive has it back, and then some! Nothing like a touch of testosterone to put the animal into a girl! Am happy for her!
So to celebrate I've been teasing her. Yesterday and the day before I have been sending pics of myself to her, sexy texts and emails. Basically she has been playing with herself, a lot, but I haven't let her cum. Yesterday I have no idea how long she spent on the edge but she was there a lot! Poor thing had a swollen aching clit demanding her attention all day. I never heard her beg so much for an orgasm, I actually thought that we were in safeword territory for a while (God it made me hot pushing her so hard, the power!). And it was such a goddam rush to say no!
In the end I got so turned on I had a lovely orgasm and sent a picture of it to her for good measure! Poor thing, wonder if the need has faded yet?

She is allowed to cum today, although the devil in me is so tempted to send her a last minute instruction not to :) I think it will be a good one, her boyfriend won't know what's hit him!
Haha

Monday, 19 May 2008

He's left

My right hand man has left. He's been one of my closest friends for years, we have lived together, slept together, drunk together and now worked together for the last 5 years. I have relied on him heavily for advice and been able to walk away from the office knowing its been in good hands. Tonight we had his leaving drinks, and as ever we had a laugh, took the piss out of each other, eyed up women in the bar. A normal night out. Until the end as I was leaving, and I found myself choking up. I really will miss him! Hope he enjoys his new job as much as this one, and I look forward to taking the mickey next time we get together.

Monday, 14 April 2008

My friend is ill...

She had cancer, as a result had a hysterectomy, and now her sex drive has gone... She is a fun and bubbly person but she is really struggling. Her sex drive is such a core part of who she is and how she thrives. Imagine loving food then losing the ability to taste.



She is scared she may not get it back.



I really really hope she does... xxx

Sunday, 13 April 2008

Constant Cravings

Its been a couple of weeks since I have had a girl at my mercy.. The monster in me is very very hungry. Earlier tonight I saw a simple but elegant picture of a beautifully roped girl, nearly naked. Nothing extreme just a pretty girl, panties ropes and a gag. I want my own. I want it now. I want her bound at my feet where I can tease, torment and pleasure her until I've had my fill.



I've always said that for me sex without friendship isn't worth having. That applies doubly with kink. This monster is as cerebral and emotional as it is physical.



Funnily enough I am listening to michael nyman at the moment and its edgyness strikes me as a good accompaniment... Smiles.



Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Wednesday, 13 June 2007

Our third MFM threesome

Our friend S was coming round one night, but we had not planned to play. Partly because we had simply planned a drink, partly because my wife was still at the end of her period. So S came over and we chatted, drank a little and so on. My wife and S were sat on the sofa together, I sat on a nearby armchair. It was winter, the heating was on and it was nice and cosy. We were chatting and drinking while S gently caressed her thigh. We had kissed hello, but apart from that and a bit of flirting I wasn’t expecting anything. However S always makes her horny, surprisingly so.

An hour or so later I went out the back garden for a cigarette. As I sat at the back door smoking, slightly drunk and a good vibe going, my wife turned her back to S, leant back against him and let him start kissing the back of her neck. His arms were around her waist, and as I smoked he started to run his hands below her T-shirt, eventually lifting it up above her breasts. So I was sat out back finishing my cigarette and watching her crane her neck round to kiss him passionately as his hands teased her nipples. She was clearly already very turned on! I finished and came in, but being slightly drunk and in a voyeuristic mood I sat back in the other chair and left them to it, watching quietly. They were in a world of their own, not ignoring me but certainly happy to carry on playing a little. I was very very turned on, watching from a distance as my wife was seduced by another man, and noticing how good she looked! Of course that didn’t carry on for long, pretty soon she was topless and in her jeans, still arched at the waist, leaning back and breathing heavily as his hands started to creep down the front of her jeans. Now at this stage I thought she would soon stop things as I know she isn’t comfortable during her period (even at the end). I guess she was even more turned on than I expected, because his hands were inside her panties and teasing her clit, waistband unbuttoned, and she was too turned on to stop. I don’t know quite what happened, I think she was asked to take off her jeans and she did, wriggling them over her hips and slipping them off slowly. She was wearing a black thong, and her soft white arse and black thong were inflaming me! Again to my surprise she turned around, got on her knees and unzipped him, taking him deeply into her mouth, kissing, licking and sucking with apparent pleasure. Her back was arched and I really enjoyed the sight of her narrow waist, her pantied bottom sticking out, lips peeking around the thong. Her back was gently muscled and neck stretched out, I couldn’t see much of her face but could hear her breathing.

I was very hard, and slowly touching myself. I knelt behind her and gently eased her panties to one side, starting to tease her clit, wanting to maximise her pleasure. This worked! She was now pressing back against my fingers for more, even while sucking him off. He was enjoying himself immensely, hands teasing her breasts. She remembered her state and went upstairs, cleaned up and came back down. Again I thought that was it, but she went and sat on his lap facing him, kissing him. She was naked but for her thong, but S and I slipped that down very soon (she seemed happy about that). S skinned off his own trousers and I could see her slipping against his cock as she kissed him. I sat back again and was wanking as I watched S slip on a condom and slip inside her, very easily I might add.

And there she was sitting astride his cock, obviously very wet and very aroused, arching up and down thrusting against him other. His hands were round her waist pushing her down hard, and she looked out of it! He thrust into her for quite a while. I asked if he minded a photo (I knew she wouldn’t), and took a few. Some from a distance and a couple of him sliding in and out of her. Seeing another mans cock in my wife’s pussy, her lips stretched around him, is a very horny sight. He turned her around and she lay back as he fucked her, hard now. She was extremely turned on, a deep flush rising on her chest and face. His hands pressed on her flat stomach, her back arched, breasts thrust out and legs spread on either side of his tanned, muscular body. If I could have reached I wanted my mouth on her clit! Instead I took a few pictures and played with myself. Eventually he came and I joined in, caressing her and bringing her to a very very strong orgasm as she held his and my cock, teasing us. He had cum of course, but I was dripping. She shook and moaned, thrust against me and then settled down as her orgasm eased.

We played some more, but I forget the details. I did get to cum that night, but just a cheeky hand job after he left and I went to bed. She did threaten to lock me in my chastity belt instead but ended up being nice to me. I would have been happy either way, just seeing her in that sexy state, so beautiful, sexual, powerful and lovable. My love for her was so strong just then, and anything she did would have been fine by me.