Sunday, 28 November 2010
In fact she said that once it works she will never want me to travel without being locked first.
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Sandy and I have argued a bit recently. Too much work, too little time. After a big barney I was feeling distant and not looking forward to having sex that night, not feeling close. Given how little we see of each other mid week we knew we should make a big effort to spend time together but it was feeling pressured.
We had a shower together in the morning. In the shower she pushed me against the wall and kissed me hard, roughly pushing her finger into my arse. Which was fun, but stopped after a few minutes. A short while later I did the same to her and she reacted, threw her head back and started to whimper. I pushed her face against the shower wall and pretended to fuck her from behind, whispered, not seriously, that we had all the tools we need on hand for me to fuck her in the arse. In answer she pulled my cock between her legs and started pressing it against herself. It wasn't going to go in like that so I reached over, rubber plenty of cream on me and she pushed back against me, pressing hard and wiggling her luscious arse until with a pop I was in, cock ring still in place. What followed was a pretty rough fuck, I pushed in and out fast without much warm up, my free hand either pulling her head back hard by her hair, or pinching her nipples as hard as my slippery hand would allow. She was frigging herself desperately as I fucked her, obviously needing to cum badly. In the end I got there first by a slim margin, and she came a minute later while I continued to move inside her.
Her knees literally buckled afterward, she had to sit on the floor of the shower with the door open to get her breath back.
a good start to the day and certainly took the pressure off.
That night we got to bed and were planning to sleep. I told her about a conversation i had at a munch about Figging. She asked what that was and I described it, I then told her how it feels as the ginger warms then starts to bite. At first she was just interested and curious as to when I had tried it, but as I described the feeling her breathing began to speed up and she started to rub herself on me. It became very apparent that she liked the idea. I suggested a quick orgasm before sleep which she accepted funnily enough, only she wasn't in the mood for quick. I slid my finger in her arse and played with her, she begged me to put tiger balm on it. Great! Bend over the bed and get it, I told her, and as she bent over the edge of the bed, her head hanging down and her delectable butt in the air I continued to tease her arse and her clit. Took her ages to find the balm (can you guess why?) and she passed me back a pink large dildo at the same time. Slut!
It didn't take her long to cum, I had one hand ramming the dildo into her pussy hard, my finger coated liberally in tiger balm was simultaneously moving in and out of her arse which by now was deliciously burning hot. With my free hand I grabbed her hair hard in my fist, pulling her head back, stretching her neck, or pushing it back down over the edge of the bed. I wasn't gentle at either end, dildo arse or hair but she just pushed her hand between her legs, moaning almost non stop, then tipped over into a huge orgasm. She came while making guttural animal sounds, her hair pulled even harder and head pulled back, and as she came down the slow continuing movement of the dildo and finger brought her quite a few aftershocks.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Sandy got back late last night, she had had a very good time. Her lover has figured out how to make her cum, of which he was very proud. Helped by the fact that she had not had sex for a week and they had been fucking a long time! She came a second time too, this time by her own hand while he was fucking her. He also came inside her, apparently he grows very big when he is close to cumming, and she had a very dreamy expression while she told me this. He even fucked her from behind standing up against a wall. I haven't done that position with her in years and I really love it. its a huge tease knowing he got to experience it and I didn't.
In fact she has admitted she isn't missing me inside her at all. While I suspect that is partly her playing up to the fantasy, its also fairly true. She doesn't seem to need to fuck often and has her new man giving her more than enough.
I am needless to say very horny, and feeling very churned up inside with submissive feelings.
On a different note she got the tickleberry newsletter, in it they have a very sexy and evil looking kalis teeth chastity device in sexy shiny metal. I thought she would consider it too extreme, but she really likes the idea and is seriously thinking of buying one for christmas. she made a comment to the effect can I believe she is thinking of buying me a chastity belt? She admitted she likes the idea of teasing me while wearing it!
Tuesday, 16 November 2010
We havent had full blown orgasmic for her sex since last tuesday, although we have done a lot of teasing. Last tuesday was the sex we had the night of her last visit to the boyfriend. Its been a busy week! Last night we fooled round, but she would not let me give her an orgasm as she was saving it for tonight. She enjoyed 'saving herself' for her boyfriend. Today I got home from work and shortly found her upstairs shaving her pussy, leaving a cute little landing strip... for him.
After dressing her up for later she demanded I put on the panties she has work all day and keep them on until she reurns, a little humiliation in the mix. No lockup, but im not allowed to cum either, of course.
Wonder what she is up to now, while I catch up on work?
Monday, 15 November 2010
I came out thinking I can finally get rid of my hair properly, I have thick black hair that does not shave well. I used to wax but started to get ingrown hairs so stopped that too. Finally a solution.
Ten minutes later the permanence hit me. If you do this you will never again have hair there. Given that my hairy olive skinned body is 'manly' in my mind I suddenly balked at the idea that if in some years I change my mind there is no going back. Now I know that balls and crack I will never miss, its cleaner, feels nicer and does not show. But these days I am totally bare. My stomach and my groin. Am I happy being that way permanently? Probably not, or at least I'm not sure, but nor am i happy shaving....
Funnily enough sandy is happy for me to do everything except my stomach which she likes hairy sometimes. I did not expect her to prefer my groin bare but these days she does. I just can't see how it could look good like that with the hair on my stomach ending just when it should be getting thicker and blending into pubic hair. So how far should I go I just don't know.
Saturday, 13 November 2010
As they have got to know each other better and the trust had developed she has been reconsidering this. Combined with the results of a recent test and she has felt safe enough to go ahead. There was just one problem, she was not sure her coil was still working. For the last six months I have not cum inside her the few times we have fucked as we were not sure it would be safe. Last week she decided to remedy that. It turns out the coil is still safe.
As a result the last few times they have seen each other they have had a little bareback contact, but the last time, knowing the coil was good, was different. Very different. I was as usual locked up tight at home while my wife went out to play. I knew what was likely to happen as she had told me a few days ago that she had checked it out. I was therefore unsurprised when she got home with a very dreamy, happy and well fucked look on her face, unsurprised but very turned on. I was in fact straining against my belt as she walked in and lifted her skirt, reminding me she had gone out with no panties. She then arched her back, her nipples and breasts jutting out in front of her, betraying the lack of a bra, a bra she had worn on the way over.
Did I mention I had helped her dress, helped her choose her clothes, watched her put on her black lace top stockings and slip on her skirt without any panties. Looked in her eyes as she did it knowing the effect it would have on me and on him, as she stared at me defiantly and lustfully. That I was on my knees at her feet while she did that. I was, and I was finding it very hard to remain in my place rather than throw her to the bed and fuck her mercilessly. She had to be very forceful to keep me down there.
I am lying in my bed watching her strip, getting ready to climb in with me. Now naked she sways over to me swinging her hips, looking me in the eye. She beckons me over to her side of the bed where I am told to lie back, looking turned on and just a touch unsure of herself but doing it anyway, she turns her back to me and lowers her very puffy pussy on to my face, making sure her lips meet mine and then rubbing herself on to me. I wasn't sure of this either at first, but the moment her lips touched mine any thoughts left me, driven out by my lust. I am embarrassed to say that I licked and sucked, I pushed my tongue deep into her and I loved every moment of it. She tasted amazing, mostly just her but with a hint of that electrolytic tang of cum, and the smell of his body from the skin around her pussy was also very apparent. I was not ready when she got up a minute later but she simply turned around, pressed herself back on to me, and let me clean her and pleasure her while she played with my balls, my cock of course still being locked. That just felt soooooo good. This had been her fantasy, to make me do this while I was still locked up, and I enjoyed it as much if not more than her. That said she must have liked it a fair bit, because despite having cum twice while with him she still lay back and guided my hand between her legs to give her one last, but very very long and noisy orgasm.
I was of course left high and dry, but not before being taken to the edge enough times to make mini me weep copious tears of frustration.
Ps. I know that a cuck should not feel this way, not in 'real' cuckolding, but I am very amused that he still hasn't got close to making her cum. She does it herself when she is over there. She isn't an easy woman to please as many ex boyfriends and one current one can testify. Lol!
Pps. She told me the next day that she really enjoyed him fucking her properly, that he felt very hard and large inside her, and she felt incredibly naughty. In fact the reason I had not tasted much of him was because she had fucked him a second time and that time he had not cum. She had taken him in hand and basically told him to fuck her, ending up with her pole dancing as they call it, her on top. She still does not think that fucking him is so different to me, even though he is so large. She loves it physiologically, but the feeling is much the same. That does not mean however that she has any intention of letting me fuck her any time soon. She is she says getting all that she needs from him and is enjoying denying me.
I didn't even make it one full day. The neosteel, sexy though it looks and feels at first, is just a miserably uncomfortable thing to wear for more than a few hours. I ended up so uncomfortable that I was even getting ratty with the kids. By the time 12 hours had passed I texted her to get the location of the hidden emergency key. I am bummed by this. I am also going to find it hard to keep my promise and not cum, though I will. I am looking forward to the day my piercing is healed enough to use the pa5000.
Why am I so horny? Well last weekend sandy decided to give me a spoilt orgasm rather than my usual full one, so my body is unused to the loss of one week of release. She had to hold me down to stop me reaching over to finish myself off properly, it was that frustrating. Her eyes were glittering with enjoyment. This week she has teased me a lot, really a lot! Real on the edge for long periods of time stuff. Again without her control I would have cum and be damned, I was that close and desperate. Partly the extra teasing is because she decided last weekend when she spoilt my orgasm that this weekend I would not get to cum. She is away and I'm only allowed to cum on a weekend, so sorry Darling but you will have to miss out, its the rule. Her eyes were glittering again when she said that. So she enjoyed upping the ante further with extra severe teasing. Some of this extra teasing was also also set off by a very good night with her boyfriend which I will write about, which of course also made us both horny.
By the time I next cum again she will have cum about 10 times since my last proper one. Even her boyfriend will have cum more then me, and he only sees her once a week.
Its a hard life being a sub, but I wouldn't change it :)
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Good god that just made me so hard, As best I can! I am yours forever.
I know & u will b mine forever xx
Of course mistress I'm a very lucky man. Xxx
Of course u r. xx
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
One of the most difficult things I faced in our marriage was the loss of the fun, open, experimental girl I met, to the sensible and repressed girl she became. I knew of course of that side of her, but the excitement of having a new man in her life had allowed her to break free temporarily. As a result I got a glimpse of a carefree woman who I feel in love with. Of course most of the next twelve years were not like that, though we tried to rekindle it often. After knock back and more knock backs I became very wary of allowing my own passion to rise around her, or of trying anything new. She became very forceful with the word no, and not very discriminatory. I thought I had come to terms with this, and of course now she is becoming more like that woman again it feels felt wonderfully freeing. Yet not completely it turns out.
The other day it came up that her boyfriend had rubbed his cum on her breasts, and more stunningly that she liked it, it turned her on. He also pushes her around in bed, getting her to do things that he fancies when he feels like it, in short he feels free to do what he wants with her, and she likes it. Vanilla things in case you are wondering. She was telling me this sadly, sadly because she realised how much of me she had repressed over the last decade. Of course she knew it already but experiencing it for real, finding that she liked it, made it all more immediate. She mentioned the cum spreading as though to say why have I not tried that. I have of course and said so, most recently in the last few months, but she still would not allow it. She was so forceful and I am so used to backing away that she had not noticed me trying. As so often in the past my attempt to be passionate had been blocked before it had been born.
We will never fully recover that dynamic, though we are much much better. I know that she likes to be in control, that's why this d/s lifestyle suits us so well. She admits that she would not want the same with me as with him, because he is new, and because he is only with her sometimes. She can walk away from it when it suits her. Her real life she wants more control over. For me the saddest thing was knowing that I will never feel comfortable being so free with her as when we met, as her boyfriend is now, all the nos have left their mark too deeply. I will be free with my own sub when I find her, but not with my wife.
And while this isn't a surprise to me, I've known these things for years and come to terms with them, hearing her be sad about it somehow made me feel ever so raw. This wound is not fully healed, I think it never will be.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
I'm very happy with the way things are - it makes it easier to sit down and relax knowing you are happy to do the chores, I still struggle with that sometimes.
I'm worried after the weekend that it brings out too much selfishness. I don't worry any more that I am not kinky enough for you though!!! I will have to keep an eye on it to keep a reasonable balance between being in charge and getting my way with doing enough of what you need too.
Its an unexpected turn of events. Many years ago I got into chastity, like 15 of them. In all that time sandy has never really liked the game. She loves to tease and deny but the actual device and act of locking me away was too extreme for her. Especially in the cold light of day. So we played on occasion but never for long and her heart was never in it.
Even the last three years of an increasingly d/s based relationship did not change that.
But recently something had changed. She likes locking me up. She gets excited by it, by the denial. She chooses to use the thing more often, without prompting by me. Yesterday I sent her a picture of me in my neosteel and she actually told me it was a sexy picture.
The final straw came to me today. She is going away in two weeks for a girls weekend. She realised that since I am only allowed to cum at the weekend that I would miss out my weekly orgasm. This entertained her. She further thought that since I will be very horny and might be tempted to play a bit too much that she wants me locked the whole weekend. So starting Friday until late Sunday I am on lockup. Once I realised she was not just saying it, once I saw the determined and excited look in her face, I finally clicked that her relationship with chastity has changed. I suspect once the piercing has healed I will spend much more time locked than in the past.
Funny really, I gave up on the fantasy some years ago as it seemed to be not for us, and its taking a while to get used to the idea again, I like touching my cock! But then I like being a sub more. Seeing her determination made me warm inside and very hard down below.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
This has been a long slow progression to where we are today. Lots of stops and reversals along the way since I introduced kink to our life. For most of the time I was the dominant one, both day to day and in the bedroom. Once we started switching roles it was still a game. Sandy wasnt sure she enjoyed it much for some years, and didnt think she was comfortable in the dominant role. So it remained a game, she liked aspects of it, tickling and teasing, but mostly it remained something we did now and then for fun.
Three years ago that changed. The reasons I wont go into here, but they were changes in my wife that were not only related to kink but to her whole life. She discovered parts of herself she had not known existed and became pretty quickly comfortable letting herself go. This included in the bedroom, with kink generally, and with her dominance also. She blossomed. With it our marriage also blossomed, and at the same time I made many changes in my interaction with her to support and care for her more. In time this has all got tied up with the d/s life we now lead.
She loves being in control, in and out of the bedroom. Its 24/7 but not in the total power exchange sense. We speak as equals, I will stand up when I feel strongly about things. But what works for her is that she knows that if she gives me that look, if she tells me to go do, I will do it. Quickly. She can stop me in my tracks and redirect me. She can offload her work on to me and while she still occasionally feels bad about it, especially when im tired too, knows that I will do it, because she wants it, because she needs to relax, because I love her and want her to be able to relax the stresses in her mind and offload them, on to me if necessary. These things make her feel loved, supported, and the control aspect makes her feel powerful and completely worshipped. Its fun, loving, caring, exciting and even a bit mean at times. Yes she has a mean streak and loves to let it out, many interactions between us now involve something a bit teasing or mean. A shadow of a kiss that doesnt quite connect leaving me gasping for her, a smack on the arse or a pinch of the nipple, her sliding her clothes from her body seductively at night knowing I am transfixed, and knowing she has denied me orgasm. A tickle before bedtime. These are also constants in our life now.
There is also a great deal of vanilla love, hugs, kisses, from the outside you would not see any of the d/s. But we know the edge that lies beneath it always.
Whats in it for me? Well Im submissive, more so than I used to realise. Its such a sexual thrill seeing the disparity between us, seeing her getting more sex than me, asking, no lets be honest sometimes ordering me to do certain chores while she sits and reads her book. Handing me her empty plate with a haughty air for me to take to the dishwasher (with a touch of a tongue in cheek smile). She is a buzzy woman who finds it hard to relax, i have spent years trying to help her do it. So I get fulfilled knowing this lifestyle has empowered her to relax more often without guilt, and I also benefit later that day from a happier more relaxed partner. I feel like I have looked out for her. Any man with a protective nurtering nature will know how much it means to protect the woman you love from lifes troubles, and I often feel that sense strongly.
And the sex... Its fantastic. She has it turns out a hell of a sadistic streak, and I have a hell of a masochistic one. We click in the bedroom and are always exploring old games, and occasionally new ones. She can be very mean, more so than I would always want, which of course feeds the submissive in me because I am having my limits pushed, and encourages her dominance to grow also, which makes her feel free, but also paradoxically makes her feel loved.
Notice how often I have mentioned love and care. And thats the rub. This lifestyle has brought out a level of love and caring for each other that we never had consistently before. We had flashes of it but we never knew how to sustain it. This way of interacting, these roles we have taken on provide a framework for interaction that encodes within it those things we both value as our own love language. It has also brought a fantastic sex life and an outlet for her dominant nature and my submissive side. Last but not least it has given her, in her own head, permission to break free her inner passion.
In the last three years we have forgotten how to be vanilla. Now and then we have a break for a change, but we dont know what to do. How to interact day to day, how to have sex. Its a lovely change but thats all it is, a break. I never quite shake off being her sub, she never quite shakes off her teasing nature. In bed we have to work hard to stay vanilla as we keep sliding back into our d/s roles. Partly this is habit, but mostly it is that this is now who we are. As Thumper said in his post stacks, this has now become one of the most solid foundations of our marriage.
It took a long time to get here, but I firmly believe that to go back now would be almost impossible and furthermore would risk the very marriage itself. As Sandy herself says (and it warms me to hear it), she doesnt see herself as sometimes wife or sometimes mistress, there is no longer a distinction, she is both. And same on my side for me. Its beautiful.
One little side note. I revealed our lifestyle to a very close vanilla friend of mine recently. He was curious as to why we were so much happier these days, and I know him so well that if I cant tell him it would feel like a lie between us. I trust him. So I told him the whole story (without the gory details!!!).
Surprisingly he almost completely understood. He did wonder how being told to do stuff regularly didnt make me get rebellious, but kind of understood that it met my need to care for my wife. I asked him if he had noticed anything between Sandy and I earlier in the evening (she had left by this time) and he said no. All he had seen was a couple in love who interact lovingly and touch each other a lot in passing. He had not noticed, even once I pointed it out, the occasional look she had used on me, the teasing one, or the do this now or else one. Open air dominance and submission yet even a close friend had no inkling anything was going on. Sandy and I find that very entertaining.
Monday, 1 November 2010
So it is still a very pleasant surprise to me when she tells me certain things. Her boyfriend is very vanilla. She told me that she quite enjoys having vanilla with him and kink at home. She says we cant do proper vanilla any more, it feels like a game. Its just not us any more and probably never will be. She is right. We have the odd vanilla break but its not real vanilla, we don't fit those roles any more. Just as many people occasionally play bondage games in the bedroom, so we play vanilla games now and then. But what's the significance?
Well imagine my surprise and pleasure when she told me that much as she likes a bit of vanilla, its made her realise that she could not imagine living that way again. Its just too boring!
We have suspected for a while this is the case but to have it confirmed is cool.
I have often mentioned her repression and how much she has blossomed recently. Imagine a woman who during her Ph.D. would walk past a coffee shop every day for 6 months. Every day she would look in and really want a coffee or one of their cakes. She never went in, not one single time. She still remembers the place and how good the coffee smelt. Why did she never go in? Because she was going to work, that was her mission. Because it costs money and she was a student. Because because because... So many reasons. Of course she could have had one now and then but at the time the chains her mind was bound with were so strong it never occurred to her.
Many many years later and after losing her job and having problems with the marriage she started to make a concerted effort to free herself from her own limitations. She went on a few NLP courses, practised letting herself go and thinking differently. We started to play dominance games and that also helped as she started to free herself from needing to mould herself to me. Eventually she reached the point she is at now, her inner passionate, silly, fun and loving nature is out there and its wonderful to see. She wont walk passed that coffee shop again without at least considering walking in. She is a different woman. Or rather she is the inner woman she always should have been.
This new passionate wife is still compared to some people quite reserved. Compared to me or her boyfriend for example, we are both very emotional, very excitable and loving men. He has commented on how little she shows her emotions. Haha! This is fantastic now, try living with her 10 years ago mate!
Sunday, 31 October 2010
Woke up and played. Sandy started to tease me about what she and her boyfriend had got up to. That got me worked up pretty damn quickly, but it did her too! She told me how good he feels inside her, how she loves the feeling of being filled with him, having him thrusting into her. As she said this she was thrusting herself against me. Suddenly she had an idea and got me in between her legs, rubbing her pussy against my cock and teasing me about how good it would feel if only I were allowed to fuck her, the way he had been. She wouldn't let me penetrate her but I could feel her heat and soaking wetness. She teased herself and me with her wet pussy. I was begging to be allowed in and she loved saying no, it was turning her on hugely to deny me. I was craving her pussy so badly, for a while I was very close very quickly!
But... to cut a long story short by the time she got totally worked up she was playing with her clit, the tip of my penis against her, and cheeky sub that I am I pushed a tiny bit in. She loved it and that was that, within a few minutes I was balls deep in her hot pussy, she was arching her back and thrusting back at me as she rubbed her clit and gave herself a very big orgasm, me thrusting deep inside. It was heavenly. Of course once she came I was pushed right out :)
Then a second orgasm by my hand.
Then she pulled me on to her again and pressing my cock head against her clit she rubbed herself to a third orgasm, this time just the tip of my cock inside her, me flexing to make my head grow and stretch her as she came.
And finally a couple of thrusts and she pulled me out and let me cum all over her bare pussy and soft tummy.
Lol! So much for the pussy ban, but we sure enjoyed it!
Historically we used to have problems with Sandy spending quality time with me, in that she didnt and we were growing apart. Its something I am sensitive about. She also has a very hot temper and when under stress it can come out. When its out its really bad! Over the last few months with her being back at work and us socialising more as the kids grow up she has found herself more tired and stressed, even with the extra load I have taken on. This has meant a nasty argument about once a month. She sings in a choral society twice a week, plays piano, now also sees her boyfriend once a week, and of course we see normal friends. Doesn't leave a lot of time in the evening once kids are thrown into the equation. Our already somewhat limited time has been put under more pressure.
Trying to work with that we have been more proactive about arranging time with each other, but so far its not worked. Sometimes she is tired, exacerbated by her other interests. Sometimes she has been more focussed on texting the new guy rather than focussing on us. Up to a point this is natural, its new and exciting, but a balance needs to be struck and it hadn't been. Finally as she is still a bit shy about it she tends to talk a lot about him in non-sexual aspects, but the fun stuff she has tended to keep to herself. Since this is something we are doing together its become a bit less together as a result. He has also fallen for her, and though I know he isnt a threat the emotion he has developed has triggered a touch of jealousy on my part, which I am working through.
The lack of time and togetherness preceedes the boyfriend by a long way. This hiccup is 70% work and life and our history, and 30% the extra pressure related to him. Though I concede that it was perhaps the trigger on an already time pressured week.
Cue a few days on very nasty arguments. Actually two very simple issues related to managing the above, that could easily have been sorted out had her stress and temper not caused it to get out of hand. Its taken a good three days to cool off and talk through enough of it to make headway. The solution is fairly simple, make more effort to spend quality time with each other. Sandy is considering dropping one of her singing groups to make more time for herself as she feels she needs to relax more. Finally she had not realised that she hadnt been telling me enough about her and the guy, and admitted that in the cold light of day she is too shy to get into any detail. So she agreed that sometimes when we play she will tell me more and tease me. Not that it was hard to get her to agree, she loves to tease me about it and did often when we were just thinking of getting into this. So effectively she is remembering to do something she loves.
Finally of course a little more communication between us while I get used to the idea that while this isnt a threat to us, there is more emotion than we expected. That takes getting used to.
I am very grateful to three fellow bloggers for advice that helped. Mistress Milliscent who advised that this takes adjustment, and one who will remain anonymous (if you are reading you know who you are) who told me about his own experience and the need for communication, and Heels who similarly gave me her experience. Thanks to you guys I was careful to talk about these issues before they had become too big to deal with.
So we are back in a good place, and soon i will write about the next time we had sex :)
ps. In case it seems that she is at fault and I am not, I also have a very hot temper, and while I did not start these arguments, once they flared I was no saint!
pps. I missed my deadline for shaving myself because of the above. I remembered but was too fired up to do it. I have been told to expect a punishment for taking too long. This makes me feel happy, loved and forgiven. Strange I know but its reaffirming that we are happy, that I am her sub and she loves me enough to want it.
Once back in bed she made her need very clear. She had not cum and after making me go down on her and lick her pussy, the pussy he had been inside (she was very clear about why she was making me go there), she took my hand and put it between her legs. I know what to do! I teased her and played with her, backing off several times until she cried out in frustration 'just fucking do it'. Soon after that I took her over the edge in a very powerful orgasm. She was much louder than usual and it lasted a long long time. The aftershocks probably lasted a minute or more. Not long after that a second orgasm, and then she told me in her domme voice that she was tired and we were going to sleep.
I went to sleep frustrated, horny, and with my cock nestled against her soft pert ass, and my arms around the woman I love.
Tuesday, 26 October 2010
We had great fun tying me up and getting her ready! Was a right giggle.
Safe sane and consensual. There is a weak link in the bindings that I can snap in an emergency and then free the rest of myself so don't worry. Of course if it isn't an emergency this will be punished.
Update. Almost four hours bound. I've always wanted to try long period bondage. It's a peaceful feeling. You just have to stop and let your body and mind relax. Nothing else to do! Except use this phone of course :) I am starting to feel a little cramp now, but it's coming and going. Time to stop soon i suspect.
Oh and I could just see into the house while they ate. After dinner she sat in his lap facing him for a while making out, her sexy legs and bare feet swinging and when she leant back her breasts jutting out. Dressed. She looked the sexiest! And (you may laugh) but she's mine. How lucky am I!
Monday, 25 October 2010
Apparently Sandy finds the collar very sexy on me. I ended up wearing it all evening, rubbed body lotion into her whole body as she lay naked watching tv. I got to kneel between her legs and go down on her for a while, then had a long slow tease ending in a powerful orgasm for me. A loving one with my wife in my arms kissing me and telling me she loved me.
I felt my heart burst with love last night.
Nb. I have been told that I am never to remove the collar, only she can. How perfectly right that feels.
Thursday, 21 October 2010
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
In an aside while looking for her coat she found the harness for our strap on which we thought we had lost. Fantastic. I noted that she could use it on me soon and her eyes lit right up. Its been a while since she has fucked me and it seems she has missed it.
Before she left the house we made out, she was grinding her crotch into the front plate of my belt, teasing my mouth by fucking it with her tongue and breathing heavily into me. I had her firm butt in my hands which was barely contained by her skirt. It was obvious I was melting with lust and desire for her and equally obvious she was utterly enjoying herself. I kissed her a final goodbye, dropped to my knees and kissed each of her feet, the last thing I kissed before she left the house to meet the other man.
Further update after the visit...
Sandy was tired before she went out and did not want a late night, nor did she want to go to his place afterwards. I was expecting her home by 2:30 at the latest. I had said it was fine if she wanted to go out later but to text me so I didn't worry. She said she would.
I worked till about one then went to bed. Woke at 2:30, just by chance not by design and checked the time and for messages. Nothing, but that's fine. A little while later texted her to see if she was having a nice time. More of a gentle check up. No reply but I knew in the club she wouldn't have her phone, so I started worrying a bit but told myself I shouldn't. After another hour I was so concerned I sent another text asking if she was OK. I got a reply a few minutes later but it was very cryptic and did little to ease my mind. I asked what she meant. No reply. Now I was really worried but I didn't want to disturb her when she is probably fine and I am just being silly. I couldn't shake it off though. At four I texted one last time and when I got no reply I decided it was enough and called her, getting through on the second attempt only, more worry. She said she was OK and on her way home and my heart stopped beating quite so fast.
I was so damned worried, I wondered if I had overreacted but thinking about it later I realised that so many things had not added up that I was right to. Even her odd reply which it turns out had been her trying, while receiving oral, to tell me she had cum twice. Lovely idea crap execution. It was so odd I wondered if someone else had her phone.
She was very apologetic. We hugged, she told me she loved me and a bit about her night before she went to sleep. I slept badly and my dreams were full of anger at her. My subconcious was telling me something that I hadn't realised while awake. I was angry with her for scaring me.
Next day we talked about it, she agreed she had been very silly not to get in touch and had between swept up in the moment. She agreed I had good reason to worry and did not want me not to check up on her as she liked the security net. We agreed on a sign in her texts to show she is OK and it really is her, and she will be more careful next time.
Panic over, but by god it scared me.
Anyway she had a really good time but my own experience was rather overshadowed.
Tuesday, 19 October 2010
She has also admitted that its reminded her why we are kinky. Once a week or so of vanilla fucking is fun especially with someone new, but she has said she needs much more than that. Her lover is not especially kinky and she told me would get bored if that is all she had. Again this works for her, she gets both vanilla from him and kink and d/s from me.
Mind you her lover has noticed that she is quite a dominant woman and it appears that he might have a bit of a submissive streak himself. He has asked her a couple of times to dominate him and she has declined. She says it is partly because she doesn't know him well enough to do it well, but mainly because she has that with me and prefers her lover to be equal or even a touch dominant with her. Poor bloke. If he really does have a submissive streak it must be hard to be so close to having your fix but not getting it. I suggested to her that she should tell him about our dynamic otherwise he doesn't understand part of what makes her tick.
For myself I kind of like it that my submission to her is valuable precisely because it's coming from the man she loves, and I like to think she doesn't want that with anyone else. She says don't kid myself:) she values it from me but doesn't want it with him mainly because she wants a change.
She does not think that having a lover is a lifestyle for her. She thinks that after this it may not happen again. I find that amusing, she had thoughts like that about so many things in the past. She does not always realise how much these things grow to be part of her. She gets dominance at home but vanilla sex with an equal away. She has all the fun of a new relationship and the excitement of the taboo, while having a loving husband and safe home life. She enjoys the fantasy. Most of all she has broken that taboo once and knows that it has not harmed us, quite the opposite. Once you've done it once the second time is much easier. So I doubt this is the only time, because one day whether a year of 5 from now when a cute guy she likes shows an interest in her and she knows her husband wont mind and her relationship will only benefit, whats the chance of her saying no?
Monday, 18 October 2010
She came with me when I got my piercing, mainly because we happened to be having lunch beforehand.
A few days ago over lunch she asked if she could see a picture of it. I showed her the one on this blog, which she liked. She asked me why I had done it. I told her partly because I liked it, but then throwing caution to the wind told her it was also so I could wear a chastity belt. She caught on very quick and to my surprise loved the idea of holding the key. 'The fun I could have teasing you' she said.
At times like that I wish I were single!
Saturday, 16 October 2010
They both wish they could avoid condoms since they both prefer the way it feels, but since he is fairly promiscuous Sandy has decided that it wont happen with him. This is kind of a shame as she really gets off on the idea of him cumming inside her, of feeling his cum dripping down her thighs after. She is totally turned on by coming home and making me lick her clean afterwards, she talks about it as a certainty that it would happen. I'm glad safety takes precedence though. Perhaps one day we will get to experience that but for now it remains a fantasy.
Funnily enough she doesnt think he feels better inside her than I do. I wonder what will happen when she next fucks me though, as its been two months since we last did, and it will be a long while before we do again. I wonder if the difference will be more noticeable then. I suspect not but its an interesting thought. The fantasy of course is that she prefers him, but the reality is that she and I are very sexually compatible and she loves sex with me. This is a good thing, though we often play with the fantasy of the better lover. She enjoys calling me dicklet and I get off on playing up to it. We both know its not true, if I really weren't comfortable with my cock I dont think a comment as barbed as that would be fun in the slightest, but as it is it works in a tongue in cheek kind of way.
There are some extreme aspects to this cuck play though. The first is that she clearly has emotions for him. Not romantic love but she likes him and cares about him. This isn't a risk to us, he's not a man she could be with in a relationship, but she cares a lot nonetheless and misses him. I am finding my feet with the reality of this lifestyle, seeing a bit less of her, knowing her emotions are shared. It takes a bit of getting used to. Not a lot, i have total trust in her and we are still more in love than ever before, but logical knowledge that this is ok is not the same as emotionally feeling it. I feel good about it, as does she, but every now and then I am keenly aware of my feelings about the whole subject. Its like a chastity belt, permanent bondage it reminds you each time you feel it that your partner has you at her mercy. Well each time I remember what she has done and is still doing, each time I see a text or her smile when she talks about him, its like a little submissive lurch inside me and another level of excitement and submission that i am drawn into.
This is turning into a long long post. That wasn't what I intended. I don't often get to write on a pc, usually I'm on the iphone and have to keep them shorter. Its good to dump my thoughts down though.
She and I are getting deeper into a d/s relationship. One effect of this is that I am getting more submissive to her, so much so that I want her to take the cuckolding decision away from me. At the moment I know she will stop the instant I say, she has been very clear about that with me. I really appreciate that but I really want her to be the only one to make that decision, to fuck who she wants without asking permission, to stop only when she chooses. Here is where fantasy and reality clash of course. It would be insane for us to actually take that step. She never would, not just the risk to our relationship but simply that loving and caring for me as she does makes it impossible for her to ignore my hurt and carry on if I needed her to stop. As for me I am not slave material I cant delegate our entire life to her, I need intimacy and need her love and respect. I am comfortable precisely because I know that if things became hard she would put me first. The fantasy of being utterly submissive in this regard is deeply appealing to my submissive side but totally impractical in reality.
There is however an area in which we are both comfortable handing over total control to her, an area which feeds my submission and her dominance, and takes some advantage of the cuckold dynamic. Permission to fuck my own wife. She isn't usually much into penetrative sex so we don't do it often and its been up to her for a long time now. Occasionally we have a vanilla break but the rest of the time its her call. Of course now she is getting a regular, almost weekly fuck from her lover its pretty much met her need for that kind of sex. She loves denying me anyway and is now very excited by denying me her pussy, not just a fuck but even momentary entry, while offering it to him freely. She gets a fuck with a nice guy with a big cock, she gets the added pleasure of the naughtiness of not allowing her own husband the same pleasure. It turns her on to think of me being denied while she breaks the ultimate taboo. It turns me on too. Sandy decided a couple of weeks back that I was banned for a while, yesterday I encouraged her to put a timescale on it.
2011. I wont be allowed inside her until 1 Jan 2011. Not once, not even for a moment. Her pussy is out of bounds. What is more she has said that she is seriously considering making this a permanent ban as long as she is seeing her lover, since she loves being that mean to me and is getting her fill anyway. Remember that she does not expect this to last very long, a year at most, so the ban is not as bad as it sounds. If it lasts long term she has been pretty clear that she will want me inside her on occasion, but only rarely. Hence on the 1st of Jan she will decide if I can fuck her again, or if the ban gets extended.
Going back to the earlier point, we cant let her decide alone wether to keep fucking her lover, but we can make my fucking her part of the power exchange. We decided over the last few days that it is now entirely up to her when or even if I get to fuck her. She can extend the ban a day, a week, a year with a veto over anything I request. This will apply even when we are having a vanilla break. Its not so different to our normal life of the last three years but its become more solid, even less negotiable. Any pretence I had of access to my wife for a fuck has been laid to rest. I can honestly say that I love it, knowing I am completely at her whim for her pussy makes me burn for her and my submission grow, and she just loves the power.
This is a fairly extreme post I realise. I am very interested to know your thoughts so for those of you reading, if you have an opinion I would be grateful to hear it.
Wednesday, 13 October 2010
Yes its what has become Sandy's weekly visit to her lover. She didnt expect to want to go this often but she is having fun. Im sure sooner or later it will settle down to more like once or twice a month but for now once a week a very wet and horny Sandy leaves a very horny hubby locked up at home while she goes to have fun, see her friend, and sometimes get a large cock.
In her own words from a text she sent him
'In my hand, my mouth, and my pussy. Im very wet.'
Tuesday, 12 October 2010
I mentioned to sandy that I might be traveling for a few days soon. Her first half joking comment was about having her lover over. Her second totally serious one was about locking me in the new chastity belt, the Pa-5000 while I'm gone. She is a bad but fun puppy.
Yes that might be possible. I went up a gauge today, to the thickness of the pa-5000 ring. Another month to get used to it and I might just be on a traveling lock up.
My god it hurt. It hurt much more than the piercing itself. We had to stop halfway for me to get used to it and at that point the thick end looked very thick indeed! But it got done and its fine now, just a bit tender.
You know how once you are on a roller coaster there is no getting off? Or maybe you have read about guys who offer to let their wives play away, and once that door is open she loves it too much to close it again. Well that's me now.
She basically said that she thinks she is enjoying this game more than me and is glad i encouraged her to do it.
I don't know about more but the comment shows how much she likes it. This isn't about to stop.
Monday, 11 October 2010
I will always remember being made to worship her feet in the heels while she stood in front of me, whipping the crop into my arse crack repeatedly hitting my hole, making it sting and burn, while admonishing me not to slobber on her feet and ruin her shoes. I wasn't of course but she liked humiliating and taunting me. She was well into the mood. Later she crouched behind me so I could see her pussy pouting as I looked back between my legs, then started whipping my balls knowing I did not want to pull away and lose the view.
A short bout of tickling followed, short but intense, then she ordered me to insert our largest butt plug, she wanted me plugged as she peed all over me. She was dead pleased with the idea. Since she wasn't ready yet she ordered me to remain on all fours on the floor at the foot of the bed, plugged and facing away from her while she relaxed for a while texting her lover and admiring my arse. I wasn't allowed to look at her. I must have been there for ten minutes and asked to look at her several times before being allowed to turn. When finally I was allowed to turn i found her lying on her side with her curves enhanced by her position, her diamond between her legs visible and her finger idly tracing over her arse and lips. Every now and then she would peek over at me and smile. I wasn't allowed to touch, I must have spent another thirty minutes kneeling there drooling wanting needing, and being denied. Two or three times I couldn't help myself and jumped on to the bed, hugging her and rubbing myself into her. Each time she started counting fast until I got back on my knees, then whipped me hard that many strokes to teach me my place. The last time I buried my face in her very wet cunt and tasted and drank her until she reached forty, I couldn't drag myself away. Mercifully only twenty of the strokes were hard but she was almost squeeling with fun as I squirmed to escape the crop.
Finally unable to stand the sight of the feast I pulled her down the bed a little way, staying on my knees I buried my head in her thighs and began to gently lick her, very gently, keeping her relaxed mood, I spent twenty minutes just gently pleasuring her and tasting her. For a girly who doesn't usually like oral this was unusual, but she found it very relaxing being very lightly played and licked while texting.
Sadly that's where it ended as my daughter chose that time to be sick in her sleep...
By the time we finished up it was late and sandy was tired, but she did need a pee. So one last little play as she ordered me into the bath, stood over me with her legs spread and let flow over my face and body. She always enjoys the dirtyness of it, and the enjoyment I get from it.
And there it ends. A lot of fun, no orgasms.
Sunday, 10 October 2010
Good lord that was a strange night! She went over there with a slight cold and I thought she might just be in the mood to chill and chat. Before she left she insisted I lock myself up, as I said in my last post, and she got dressed, so it was obvious something might happen.
I sat at home, tidied up, did some chores, wrote a post, watched some porn (yes cheating wife porn), wished I could touch myself. Then realising that porn without any stimulation is quite dull I watched some TV. Turned off the light, closed my eyes, imagined what might be going on and then imagined it some more. At that point the steel tube on my neosteel split and my raging member escaped, homing in on the nearest woman like a missile. That last part sadly didnt happen by the way.
I had a text exchange with her just after she got there where she said this game was fun!!!
I was at first just relaxing but as the time went by and it was almost midnight it became obvious that she would have been home by then if nothing was going on. That got my imagination racing and suddenly it became very hard to focus on anything else. I wasnt sure quite how I felt, there were no negative emotions, no jelousy or fear, but a strange mix of lust, submission, curiosity, and happiness for her. I was very horny, but by midnight I was falling asleep. I dozed probably for only 5 minutes before she got home. After pottering downstairs for a few minutes she came up to bed, smiled and slunk over the bed still fully dressed. She was very amorous and looked at me with lust drunken eyes, saying huskily 'i've been very naughty...'
Oh God, I did burst! She had done it, enjoyed it, and was here telling me that she had fucked him in a tone of voice that made it obvious she loved it. She told me a bit about the evening as she unlocked me, how they had chatted for a little while then they had undressed, how he loved her lack of panties and it had been making her tingly all evening not wearing them. How good he felt inside her and how filled she was. By this time I was teasing her soaking, dripping slit and she was getting really hot. He still hasnt been able to make her cum, my gain! She pushed my head down to her pussy making me lick her, telling me how he had been inside her pussy, asking could I taste the rubber and her juices and know, know for sure her pussy had been his. The talk was getting her off big time. In pretty short order I was on the edge from her teasing, and she had had her first orgasm. The first of three, lucky girl! And what an orgasm it was, it must have lasted over a minute. We had been fantasising as I pleasured her, and in chatting I happened to ask her if I would ever be allowed to be unlocked while she was away. I wasnt entirely surprised that the answer was no but i was surprised how strongly she felt about it. She basically said it really really turns her on to have me locked and be fucking him, knowing the state i am in, knowing i cant touch myself while I am so desperate to because of the thoughts of her. Her saying it and thinking of it had an immediate impact on her lust, her voice actually dropped deeper, her hips ground against me and I swear I felt an extra wetness flow from her as she was telling me this. I was utterly shocked and totally turned on by how much it turns her on to keep my cock locked up while she plays. In fact she ended up telling me that I am now banned from her pussy, might be only a few weeks or it might be as long as she is seeing him. The timescale is unknown but she confirmed afterwards that she was serious about denying me entry to her for a while.
She loves this game, she is stunned how much she enjoys it. She loves having another man to play with, loves the dynamic between us that is developing, and loves teasing me and denying me about it all. She keeps making little comments all throughout the day and teasing me. She is certain she will do it again with him. Funnily enough this is making us closer too, and more in love.
She did ask several times if I minded, it feels good hearing her ask even though I dont mind at all, and she needed the reassurance. She has also asked if I mind that she cares about him, by which she means as a friend who she values. Of course I dont mind, she isnt falling in love and I would almost be more concerned if she was so hard hearted as to not feel something for him. Our relationship is clearly not being harmed by it, quite the opposite.
Oh and of course I didnt get to cum, its not the weekend. Even after having so much fun she is absolutely strict about that. Damn!
Thursday, 7 October 2010
In actual fact we didnt play that night, nor did she visit him on monday as she got sick herself... I thought that there would be at least a few days before anything could happen between us, and longer before she wanted to go out.
How wrong I was.
Tonight when she got home from work she looked fantastic. Business suit, crisp shirt, tan thigh highs underneath. I who havent cum for a week and a half couldnt keep my hands off her. She enjoyed the attention, and the desperate attentive state I was in amused her. She playfully, but seriously said that she intended to go and see him tonight, and did I mind. Actually I possibly did, I said im happy for her to go as long as she is feeling well, but not to push herself and have the cold bite back, its a doozy. She promised if she felt at all tired she would stay at home, but that she felt rather well.
We cuddled for a short while and chatted. I enjoyed the feel of her nearly naked body against me, she had taken off her work clothing but the thigh highs were still on. She wasnt sure if she was in a dominant mood at first but after 5 minutes sat on top and started teasing me a bit. She said she had made up her mind, she was in the mood and I was expected to lock my cock up before she went out, she didnt want me playing with myself while thinking of her adventure. She really enjoyed denying me that at a time I would be so desperate to tease myself. So I just spent the last 20 minutes watching and helping her dress. Ten inch denim mini, dark tights (hose) with no panties (her idea, she fantasised about it the other day and obviously it stuck with her), no bra, tight vest and pretty shirt. As if that wasnt enough, and my locked cock wasnt already bending steel, she bent over to get her high pointed heel black leather knee boots. First wear of the winter and its for his benefit and my tease. She knew exactly what she was doing, even looking back at me for the reaction she was fully expecting to cause.
There we are. She may not go over to his after her errands if she is feeling unwell. She may go over and just chat, but she may end up playing and I have no idea. Its driving me crazy with lust, and all that does is make her enjoy denying me more.
She suggested she go see him, she pushed it, she wanted it. I didnt have to encourage her or tell her its ok at all. This is a first, its her game now. I told her she was enjoying this more than she expected she would and she wholeheartedly agreed. She admitted that she enjoys the game as much as I do, another surprise for me. It also makes her feel more dominant toward me (and more loving).
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
Mistress Milliscent wrote of a difference between how an individual defines themselves from a kink perspective. Into bdsm or am bdsm. I hadn't thought of it that way before but it clarifies feeling of surprise expressed in my post about sandy being truly kinky. For many years she has been resistant to kink due to being uncomfortable, society judgement repression. Then for a number of years she began to get over that. My own model of her mind has just about kept up with her increasing comfort with kink, but only just. It is an inadequate model, I had not really allowed myself to recognise how much she has changed over the last three years. At some point she went from a women who is into bdsm, to a woman who is bdsm. No longer a hobby or pleasant diversion, she is now at a very fundamental level kinky, dominant, and even mean, though lovingly so. She admits she could not go back to how we were before, and were we to ever separate she believes she would be the same with a new man. So its not a function of us, but of her.
Her model of her own mind knows this, its just me playing catch up, and its such a big change to the sandy I knew for over a decade that I am sure I will be surprised by this again. Surprise but ever so pleased, for both of us.
One conversation in passing is worth a mention. A few weeks back when we had a vanilla break we made love, or fucked a few times. I asked her if she was missing it. She said she was a bit. This surprised me as she very rarely misses penetrative sex. So I asked (rather hopefully) if she wanted more of it, and she basically said yes but not with me. I assumed she was joking but then out of interest asked what she missed about it. It seems it's not the emotional intimacy (which is why I value it) it's simply the sensation she is missing. I guessed then that she meant it about wanting a fuck, but with her new guy rather than me, and she confirmed that.
We laughed about it, she felt a touch uncomfortable and pointed out it's just for now, it's a fun game. I smiled, since I know that already, but enjoyed teasing her about it nonetheless.
Oh and we've started occasionally calling him her boyfriend. It's meant mostly in irony, mostly but not entirely. She spends a lot of time chatting or texting in a rough simulacrum of a new relationship. It's not of course, before you get worrying. In fact we both find ourselves closer to each other than before. But it's similar enough to warrant the label.
Sunday, 3 October 2010
As the play with the other guy progresses the reality of having another person in the scene is starting to be apparent. As so often the fantasy and the reality are not the same, and reality is harder and more nuanced.
The other guy is aware we have an open relationship, that I know everything that goes on between them. There are no real secrets between Sandy and I, nor could there be. But Sandy and I have talked and fantasised about this kind of relationship for several years and are deeply aware of what open means to us. To us it means we come first, that she loves me, respects me, fancies the pants off me. We have history, children and a future that neither of us would walk away from. I don't think he fully understands this yet. He understands open in theory yet as far as we can tell cant quite believe it. He says he wouldn't share a woman like her if they were together. Thats fine and understandable but that and similar comments show that he is far from understanding that we aren't sharing the part of her that makes us a couple in love. Its very hard to be sure because like so many men he isn't that open about feelings, but occasionally we wonder if he realises that Sandy fooling around is not in any way indicative of a flaw in our relationship.
We also know that he has become very infatuated with her. Easy to do, Sandy is an absolute gem, her personality shines bright. He is in the honeymoon stage where she can do no wrong, he hasn't seen her flaws, the aspects of her that in her own words would drive him potty and make them unsuited in the long term. He is getting rather romantic and every now and then Sandy has to back off and make the boundaries clear. Cue a slightly hurt backtrack as he says that he is a big boy and capable of looking after himself. We are sure he is, but fundamentally he seems the type to fall in 'love' easily and even if he can survive it not being reciprocated we still don't want to hurt his feelings. Its a new relationship (theirs that is) and like all new relationships it takes a bit of time to settle down and find its boundaries. We are going through that stage now. I think that if this aspect of it doesn't settle down soon Sandy will put an end to the whole thing, for his sake. The next few weeks will be key.
Due to the feelings he has for her and the fact that he just isn't comfortable with that kind of thing I need to stay off the scene. There will be no watching while tied in the corner, no listening on the end of a phone. I will be lucky to get the odd picture. Our fantasies would ideally include me more, but as so often once you start this process you don't always get quite what you wanted. So I enjoy imagining what they are up to, she enjoys telling me all about it. The rest will have to remain a fantasy. Not that this ruins the experience, its still fun, but its not the fantasy ideal.
Finally he seems to be a long way from understanding real dominance and submission. He doesn't know that we are in a d/s relationship and Sandy doesn't think she wants to tell him as she suspects he would get an incorrect impression on me. Not knowing she is dominant means that a large part of who she is nowadays is a mystery to him, and though she intends to tell him a bit about that side of her character its not something she thinks he will grok. (who remembers the term grok, does that make me a real geek?) Again this is not unexpected, it takes people years in this scene to understand the nuances of a d/s relationship, and the nuances of a dominant or submissive character. 'Vanilla' people just think of it as a sexual thing.
So all of this sounds vaguely negative. In fact apart from the possibility that his feelings for her are too strong the rest just is what it is. It needs to be worked through, and Sandy and I work with what we have.
Its a lot of fun, but lets be honest and open about the trickier aspects.
As we were chatting we discussed her sleeping with another guy, and what would happen if I asked her to stop. She said that after so many years of wanting her to do this (and other kinky things) she would be miffed if I stopped her now. She would, but would have a serious chat to me first along the lines of not going hot or cold. If I say stop now thats it, there is no going back. Not that we are about to stop because chatting about it got us both very horny. She half joked about going to see him tomorrow I asked if I could help dress her if she did. She agree on condition that she locks me up first. She got very horny while we were discussing this. I was teasing her already damp slit as we spoke. She admitted that it turns her on to think of me locked up unable even to touch myself while she gets fucked by another man. Specifically it turns her on to have me locked up while she is out there having fun, knowing all I can do is think of what she is up to. She gets all the fun and i get denied. By this point she had more or less decided to go over there with a skirt, holdups and no panties or bra. She wanted him to have easy access to her. I teased her to the point of orgasm, two fingers stroking her G spot while teasing her clit, she was very very wet, unusually so. I suggested that she not cum and we save it till tonight (we hope to play later). She responded that maybe she wont let me make her cum tonight either and would rather save it for tomorrow. She likes the idea of denying me the pleasure of getting her off, and as a bonus knowing the more horny she is the more likely he is to be able to do the job.
I think at this point I realised that my wife is really, truly kinky, and has a mean domme streak a mile wide.
Saturday, 2 October 2010
That's what I wanted for so long, knowing that she wants my suffering, and she decides and gets. It is hard knowing that I will always be kept so horny though!
She did say she didn't think she would reduce it either, that she likes it this way. I am relieved by that, although I'm not convinced she wont at some point become more strict.
Friday, 1 October 2010
At this stage it looks almost healed! So quickly, I'm used to months for a Frenum and still it wasn't perfect. This looks almost done and I think I can go up a gauge now, though I intend to give it one more week for extra confidence.
I love it, its sexy, feels nice, I love the subtle weight of it dangling and like seeing it there. The anarchist in me revels in my moment of counter culture subversion. Suit on the outside maybe but I'm still me somewhere in there.
I can pee!!! It takes care to line it up and put pressure on my head just so, I need to spread my legs wide just in case and stand very close to the urinal, but I can do it! Excellent news as I do like to go to the pub.
I am as the advert says lovin' it.
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Is the third man a cuck? What is his position, what can he expect, what do we owe him?
Seems a silly question given that by inviting him in the married couple are putting their marriage at risk, but the third wheel has feelings too. Anonymous suggested that if he were to fall in love the couple should and probably would walk away. He is left behind, and is therefore in some way a cuckold. I'm not sure that I can stretch the definition of the word that far but I know what he means. It's easy to forget his feelings, we are used to believing that men want sex, that they can separate emotions from sex easily. That therefore the new guy should be happy to get some pussy and his feelings don't count. I'm not sure that's fair, I know that there will be men who get drawn in further than they expected and get hurt.
Sadly that's a risk that is hard to avoid, but sandy and I are certainly aware and looking out for his feelings, I know sandy is fantastic and very easy to fall for, in our case the risk of his being hurt is greater than that of us.
But he still isn't a cuck.
I'm not sure that many women would want
power over both men in those circumstances though. It feels to me too close to a hurtful situation to make it fun or intoxicating.
Wednesday, 29 September 2010
That said this post is going to address why we do it, in the context of a healthy happy loving marriage.
I wish I could start by writing a long post on my thoughts, one that would address everything perfectly, clarify my and Sandys thoughts and emotions perfectly, make clear how we feel. Sadly ive been beaten to the punch by queen KC who wrote a post that so perfectly summarises it that im just going to link to it and not try to reinvent the wheel badly. Please read this before you carry on. I emailed this to Sandy. My wife is put off by extreme fantasy or badly written silliness. She is very open minded but as any long time reader of my blog knows she struggled to embrace her and my kinky side for many years. Yet her response to the article was 'Sounds just like us!'. KC summarises it perfectly. Sandy loves me, fancies me, respects and admires me. She finds me gentle and loving, smart and dependable, and sexy as hell even after 15 years together. One reason she hasnt even considered played with anyone else before is because for her I set a very high bar. Why bother to play with someone who is so much less attractive. But having found someone who does appeal (physically and friendship wise, NOT emotionally) she has very much enjoyed playing away so far.
She likes to humiliate me, I enjoy it too. This wouldnt work if it was true that I was useless, it works because it is a game. Sure im embarrassed but I know im not really 'dicklet', in fact I know she loves my cock a lot. I find it hard to strip off and show myself to her while wearing her panties because I know and she knows I look ridiculous. Yet she loves the fact that I do it as it shows the power she has over me, she cant believe I do what she says but gets off on it. Humiliation is one way to amplify that feeling. Plus its just FUN!
For now she enjoys playing away. All this fun we have at home makes her horny. She isnt going and spending that energy elsewhere, this isnt a zero sum game. Playing and flirting with him makes her more horny, the amount of sex we have has gone up since she started doing this. The intimacy between us has gone up even more, we are sharing a naughty secret. We laugh about it, fantasise and talk about it. Its one more thing to share and therefore brings us together. When I look at her I see a woman I love and lust after through my eyes and his, she becomes even more attractive to me. When she comes home to me she is reminded every time of how lucky she is, how much she truly appreciates and wants me, she has said so. The taking for granted that develops over the years is shed when she gets back having tasted something different and sees that what she has is better! Oh and did i mention, its also just plain FUN! Lets not underestimate that, analysis aside its fun for her playing around doing new things with new people, and its fun for me hearing about it.
Not sure I can add much to this, what do you think?
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Ok I admit I rather enjoyed it a lot. I may possibly have had my hand below the covers though you cant prove a thing! Thank god the iPhone can be used one handed. Naturally I didn't cum, neither my wife nor the dominant characters in the book would have approved :) It is for the most part extreme femdomme. How far could you take it, what would that look like, feel like. I found myself turned on sometimes and uncomfortable other times, it had me questioning how far I personally would want to go and where the line is drawn between consensual and non. Some was simply hot, but always edgy. Why am I enjoying this, would I really want to experience this? It makes you think.
I came to my own conclusions about how some of the themes relate to me. Have a read. You may get off on it, and it may even make you think. Be warned it's very kinky! You can get a copy here if you like.
We also got chatting and I ended up asking a few questions which I've shared below. Incidentally I've really enjoyed chatting, she is a very interesting and very friendly lady.
By the way, in case you are wondering, the emails from Dru are my favourite part of the book. She seems to relish her dominant position and her mean streak yet be loving with it. I hope Sandy never gets that dominant though! Scary.
Did you enjoy writing the book?
I had a marvelous time writing the book. It happened over the course of last winter and spring, for whatever reason I was very drawn to writing and I put down a great deal of material in a short period of time. Imagination overdrive is perhaps the only way I can explain it.
Additionally though, since the stories were not destined for the blog I was able to take plenty of time editing and perfecting them. That is a luxury denied me when blogging, in that format I must go straight from first draft to publishing due to time constraints.
Which is your favourite story, whats the appeal?
My favorite story in the collection is "Death On My Own Terms."
I certainly have no objection to porn for porn's sake, indeed I love great porn. I don't however look at my own writing in that way. I try to use my erotica to communicate truths fundamental to us as people. While my writing is extremely erotic, porn if you will, I think that behind it there is more.
Without a doubt that 'more' exists within "Death On My Own Terms." There is a huge debate right now within the United States over whether or not physician assisted suicide is moral, and if it should be legal. This issue is even larger in my home state of Washington as the voters have recently decided that yes, it is legal and yes, it is moral.
I agree with that view. I watched a family member die, very slowly, as doctors did everything they could to keep him alive for as long as possible despite the fact that he was in extreme pain and had no hope of recovery. It was a horrible death, and one he certainly did not want. There needed to be another way, but at that time, for him, no other way was allowed under our laws.
Our creator grants us the absolute right to use our bodies as we see fit without interference from the state provided that we do no harm to anyone else. This most certainly extends to the right to end our lives when we are ill, in pain, and have no chance of recovery. I believe that "Death On My Own Terms" communicates that fundamental truth well.
I also greatly enjoy the stories written as email messages from dominant wife to submissive husband. They are 'written' by Dru, and I adore her 'voice,' the happy way in which she communicates extreme desires to her husband.
If you had to live one of those lives, which would it be?
Due to the way I have structured my life, I get to live female domination in a way that very few people are ever able. Every single day is a femdom day at my house. As a result, I guess that I see a good deal of myself in each of the dominant characters in my stories.
If I had to choose though, I guess that I would most identify with Dru, the dominant character in the stories written as email messages. Like her, I love to laugh and smile while doing the most horrible things to those who choose to suffer under my heels.
Which famous person would you most want to have in your palm and what
would you do with them?
I was asked this question once before, many years ago. The specific person has changed, but my answer has not.
The President of the United States. Female domination is power exchange. The greater power a submissive possesses, the greater the exchange of power, and hence the excitement is. There would be no pleasure in dominating someone who possessed no personal gifts or personal power, pleasure comes from dominating someone who possesses wonderful qualities, gifts, successes, and chooses to become submissive.
As for what I would do with him, alas that is an unanswerable question. A great female dominated encounter or relationship comes about when both partners' interests are understood and those areas where they mesh are used to push the encounter or relationship forward. I don't think that excitement can be built within a dominatrix unless she understands her submissive and his desires, exploiting those for their mutual pleasure.
If you could sneak one real life individual in to live out one of your stories (think through the looking glass), would you do it, who, which etc?
Someone else has said that my stories take female domination to its logical and extreme conclusion. I think that is correct. If a relationship is pursued on a strictly female dominated basis, given enough
time, it could certainly end up in a place similar to what is described within the stories contained in Dystopian Longings.
Like Alice, through the looking glass, I would choose the story entitled "The Slave." It is, I think, the logical conclusion.
I don't know of a specific individual that I would pull into it, but I know his traits. He would adore me. He would adore the suffering he was forced to live through for me. He would respond to everything I did to him, I would witness his suffering with all of my senses. Lastly, he would obey, absolutely, everything, every time.
Does the senator look like you :)
In my minds eye she does not. She has longer hair. Perhaps our asses look the same though. The Senator has a world-class ass, and I've been told that my own is right there with the best of them.
The Senator and I do share an intense interest in politics, and a hatred for the hypocrisy displayed by members of the Religious Right.
Is there a sequel, can you tease us with it?
Book two will be out soon. Like Dystopian Longings it is a collection of flash fiction. I think that readers who enjoyed my first book will enjoy the second as well in that it is a continuation of the themes introduced before. Activities change from story to story, book to book, and ultimately the activities are that we as readers are after when engaged in late night, one handed reading.
Monday, 27 September 2010
Five minutes later she was lying on her front, her naked ass pouting off the bed and my two fingers from one hand pressing into her, rubbing her g-spot. Another finger in her ass, teasing her deeply. Her own hand rubbing her clit furiously two two orgasms. Watching her beautiful ass raised off the bed, squirming and grinding into me, knowing what she was thinking about had me extremely turned on, barely able to resist fucking her myself (I knew I wouldnt be allowed).
Of course I wasnt allowed to cum afterwards, I asked and she just laughed then ordered me not to ask again. She is really loving the disparity of having more orgasms, more sex, even sex with another man, and still allowing me a meagre one cum a week.
Sunday, 26 September 2010
Why did it happen out of the blue? Strange.
Still not entirely back but coming.
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
So last night she turned up there in the cute clothes we had picked out. They didnt stay on for long! They played for a good two hours before she got home. Most of it I was cool but the last half an hour I was almost a bit worried. No need to be, she was home soon after 11 acting very nonchalant. I thought nothing had happened and she had done what she intended and chatted, until she noticed my horniness and admitted she was too, because they had been playing. My cock sprang up at that!
Ive still not technically been cuckolded (only because they didnt have a condom, she wanted to!) but they certainly had fun. He couldnt make her cum though so I had a very horny wife on my hands who needed my touch. Boy did she need it bad, she had two monster orgasms! As I touched her and looked at her delectable body spread in front of me it really hit me that another man had just seen the same sight. That really brings it home! After her own orgasms she still wouldnt let me cum, was in fact very strict about it and threatened to lock me back up for the whole night if I even asked. She fell asleep with me massaging her feet.
In case you are wondering our emotions are being affected in a very positive way. We are feeling even more in love than we have been recently, her face melts every time she sees me. In a funny way playing with him reminds her quite how much she appreciates me, and it has the same effect on me. Take heed kids, extra-marital sex is the key to happy marriages ;) Its also making her more in touch with her inner domme, and i'm bubbling over with submissive feelings. Not surprising when she loved thinking of me locked up at home while he had his fingers inside her, and I was so desperate to touch myself but in my mistresses steel embrace.