Thursday, 18 March 2010

Something I wrote a few years back. Just found it.

I feel you lying in my arms,

your body rests against mine, soft, warm,

head nestling in the crook of my arm, soft hair against my skin.

I feel you breath, your scent surrounds me, you are here and we need not speak;

your presence alone slows my heart, fatigue and stress wash away, I am comforted, relaxed.

I hope I give what I receive.

I love you.

Monday, 15 March 2010

Denial makes me love my wife more

Over at Maymays a conversation bubbles away, you should go read, its interesting! I have moved a little of my comment here as it warrants a post, if only so Sandy can read it.

Denial adds to submission, it adds a piquancy that is lacking without it. For me at least. Why? Because submission for me has a sexual component, sexuality led me to it. The hormones flow through me and make me love my wife, my self, and people around me more. I am hyper alert to passion in the world around me when I am horny. Passion is a key to my enjoyment of life.

But what do I mean ‘denial makes me love my wife more’, dangerous words no? Doesnt that demean my love for her? Does it make you think I should love her anyway?

Thats not what those words are intended to mean when I write them. I love my wife already. We have been together 14 years of which 10 were extremely tough. For a long period nothing got us through that but love, its all we had. Not liking, not even friendship. So I know I love her, but I love her more when I am denied. I love her more because she is dominating me, that means a lot to me. Active dominance helps me feel cared for. I also love her more because when I see her my heart beats, my hormones flow, my cock twitches, my body is crying out its reaction to her, making me more AWARE of my love. The more denial, the more hormones, the more my body reacts, the more it reminds me, screaming to me that the woman I see, she is my world.

I become more aware.

A very similar thing happens with my submission. Just as active dominance draws out my submission, so being horny will draw it out. Its there anyway for sure, without denial other things can bring it to the fore. But denial does it well. Combine any two of these three, inner submission (wanting to serve), active dominance, denial, any two bring the d/s dynamic to life, all three supercharge it.

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Update me already

I know its been a while, but hey life its like that.

I've been reading a lot of forever in her service, he has an excellent way of writing that shows what he wants and what he values. What it shows me is that I have a lot to learn! I've been sending sandy various posts from him and others for her to read, kind of helping her learn by filtering the dross. She seems to appreciate it. She also likes his posts. After one she realised that I still top from the bottom sometimes and she doesn't always lead. But hey as she said, we are getting there. I think we are too, and besides we both like a break from it now and then. She has led more since that post though. After another about his level of service, she commented I have a long way to go!

I find that since she committed to being my Domme I am having jitters. She is happier now she has dived in, I find myself facing the fact that I have given up my freedom, perhaps for life. I want it but its scary. I know I will need the odd break, but I know she will too so I don't really need to worry. But...

We've been playing some recently. Mostly light play, and she has been letting me cum a lot. Probably twice a week. I'm really enjoying it. I must admit she is spoiling me, I'm scared of when she decides a long stretch is in order :) last night she was feeling playful and had a long tickling session, with a fair bit of whipping my ass. I'm out of practice, that hurt! I was extremely ticklish, laughing hard before she even touched me. She ended up sat on my face, her deliciously musky pussy making breathing hard and over powering me with pheromones, basically pinning me down so she could tickle harder, god I was going insane with laughter and a fair amount of lust. I could not throw her off. Could barely breath. In fact at one point i laughed so hard into her i filled her with air, which then fanny farted back out at me. Cue Gales of laughter, now from both of us.

Finally she made me cum, and just as the explosion came she put her weight on my arms and let go, stealing what should have been a powerful cum into a trickle. She looked like the cat that ate the cream, especially seeing look on my face, she reckons having cum the day before I didn't deserve a good one. I think she just likes being mean.

We wound down with me massaging her naked body for an hour as we both watched heroes. I was and still am very in love. Oh and her body looked and felt fantastic, I enjoyed the massage as much as she did!