Over at Maymays a conversation bubbles away, you should go read, its interesting! I have moved a little of my comment here as it warrants a post, if only so Sandy can read it.
Denial adds to submission, it adds a piquancy that is lacking without it. For me at least. Why? Because submission for me has a sexual component, sexuality led me to it. The hormones flow through me and make me love my wife, my self, and people around me more. I am hyper alert to passion in the world around me when I am horny. Passion is a key to my enjoyment of life.
But what do I mean ‘denial makes me love my wife more’, dangerous words no? Doesnt that demean my love for her? Does it make you think I should love her anyway?
Thats not what those words are intended to mean when I write them. I love my wife already. We have been together 14 years of which 10 were extremely tough. For a long period nothing got us through that but love, its all we had. Not liking, not even friendship. So I know I love her, but I love her more when I am denied. I love her more because she is dominating me, that means a lot to me. Active dominance helps me feel cared for. I also love her more because when I see her my heart beats, my hormones flow, my cock twitches, my body is crying out its reaction to her, making me more AWARE of my love. The more denial, the more hormones, the more my body reacts, the more it reminds me, screaming to me that the woman I see, she is my world.
I become more aware.
A very similar thing happens with my submission. Just as active dominance draws out my submission, so being horny will draw it out. Its there anyway for sure, without denial other things can bring it to the fore. But denial does it well. Combine any two of these three, inner submission (wanting to serve), active dominance, denial, any two bring the d/s dynamic to life, all three supercharge it.