Saturday, 20 April 2013


I find myself between. I still crave to be dominated now and then, but I am increasing feeling the delicious urge to control. In bed with Sandy using her, abusing her and taking her when I want is the order of the day this last few months.

This is a hard phase for me. My identity is bound up with my sexuality and feeling neither dominant nor submissive for long plays out in an odd way. For example I still fantasise about a cuckold denied relationship but wouldn't want one. I am mostly dominant in bed now so when occasionally sandy switches my body has forgotten how to reach sub space. I often find if I'm masturbating and fantasising just as I come my fantasy switches from top to bottom, or vice versa.

Strange as I say. In flux. Moving into top mode but not quickly.