Tuesday, 31 March 2009

I Hate High School Musical

I cant begin to describe how much. Or why.
It espouses some of the worst, most superficial aspects of American culture, holding them up as the be all and end all of aspiration.

Troy - the rugged individualist, heart in the right place, macho, fighting the odds by himself.
Whats wrong with this picture? He isnt all man, he isnt getting there all by himself, he isnt doing it against all odds. He is about as lucky as a human being on this planet in 2009 can be. Comfortably off, talented in everything he turns his hand to, popular, oh and good looking as well.

Gabrielle - the simpering idiot. Supposedly smart but all she ever does is act pretty and simper at Troy. Whats wrong here? Woman, defined by man, defined by looks, must hide intelligence and act like a fluffy bunny rabbit to be accepted in society. Feh.

Kelsi - Smart, Geeky. In Jellyfish's own words as I cant say it better... Kelsi's acceptance by the group takes the form of some jock taking away her hat and getting her to shoot the basketball, followed by a prettifying makeover avec stupid one-strap Supre top and sequinned belt.

Not to mention the overwhelming obsession with teen relationships without even a hint of physical intimacy (cos that would be wrong)! Yes I remember Britney gyrating around sexually in a schoolgirl uniform or catsuit, while it was claimed in all seriousness that she was a good christian 'virgin'. Talk about double standards!

I must have watched the first two a hundred times (yes I have young kids), and I just cant describe the trivial horror of it. As you can see when I try I sound pompous and too serious, but I know someone who can do a much better job. I nearly peed myself reading this :) Eloquently said!

Saturday, 14 March 2009

The Domme is back

This morning Sandy woke up in a much better mood. This she demonstrated by demanding an orgasm, then a second one, and making it clear that I wasnt going to get anything as I had had an unauthorised orgasm a few days ago (my only one since the start of the year). She made sure to expose her breasts and arch her back to tempt me that much further, and they are tempting succulant morsels!

Foolish me. I told her about that a few days ago, even suggesting that I should be punished for it. Silly silly me!


Friday, 13 March 2009

Plusses and Minuses

Sandy is still feeling down.

On the minus side - Hormones, bit of a mild cold, another rejected job application, missing adult company.
On the plus side, lots of time at home with kids at a lovely age, My job covers us enough to not worry too much, food on the table, roof over our heads and good health.

It shouldnt be a contest should it. There are so many people so badly off in the world, that I sometimes despair at our 'humanity'. We are lucky. Yet we cant help being who we are, and after 8 months of looking for a job it is not surprising that she feels low some days. Luckily she is an incredibly resilient woman, more so than i am (resilient that is, i am not a woman, at least not on the weekdays ;) ). Looking for a part time job, let alone one which pays enough to cover childcare is extremely hard in a bull market, but in these economic times its nearly impossible. She keeps getting so close but not quite. i am sure it will come, and in the meantime she gets lots of hugs from me and the kids. Some of her friends have the opposite problem, working so much they never see their kids.

So on balance all is well with us, this moment will pass, by sunday I predict, at the latest.

Oh yes, tomorrow we are out at a 70s party. Probably just what she needs. One Freddy Mercury (complete with skinny girls jeans and adidas trainers), and one electric blue catsuited disco diva coming up. Might post pics if I can.

Verbal diarrhoea over. Spluuuurge.

Best laid plans of mice and men

Last night we had intended to go to bed early and watch some heroes, sandy is feeling a little poorly. During the day I suggested to her that if she was feeling a bit naughty she could ask me to plug myself and give her a foot or back massage while we watched. She thought this a fun idea, accusing me of being truly bad!

Sadly by the time the kids got to sleep we were tired, and sandy's cold had come on stronger. So just heroes and sleep.

Another time soon I suspect...

I confess that due to our past this kind of thing still makes me feel a bit let down, as if there is a lack of interest in these games on her part. I know its not true, but my heart is still unsure. Its a sign of how far were have come though, that the feeling was very slight. So I was easily able to be the supportive husband she needed and my fears didn't sit heavy in my thoughts like they used to.

Thank god, I don't ever want to be back there again, horrible times!

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

A question to any readers

There have been fewer comments recently which got me wondering how many people read this blog regularly, and which bits people are most interested in. Please drop a quick note, anonymous if you are shy, to satisfy my curiosity.

And if you are reading T... love you x

I thank you

Monday, 9 March 2009

The Dom is back (at least for the night)

Last night we switched roles, Sandy was on the bottom in need of a good tease and a bit of healthy abuse. Who was I to refuse :) After her second orgasm we made love, we came simultaneously with her in my arms, bodies close, every inch of skin in an embrace. It was the nearest to 'lovemaking' we ever come, and it was wonderful.

I won't relate it all, but try to highlight one small section and make it as hot, and accurate, as I can.

' kneel up' he ordered, 'quickly!'

She rose up and knelt, her hands on her thighs, back arched. Always good in that position, she looked weak, horny, ripe for abuse. His eyes took in her form, her breasts were pert, pointing up and swollen in their rope prison. her legs, achingly long and folded beneath her, the skin of her inner thighs smooth, creamy white, a sheen of persperation. glistening sensuality. Her hips and arse flared wide, curved cheeks, rounded and soft, so clearly a women. He held her waist easily in his hands, soft in his palms, encompassed by him, squeezing his toy, marking his possession.

He admired her from behind but his manner was rough. 'spread' he snapped, slapping her inner thighs wider apart, reddening them. He didn't care for her pain, indeed the whimper was music to him. As she kneeled, panting, her moist depths were available but cast aside, a deeper violation was required. His finger slipped deep into her arse. There was no warning, yet her spread thighs had bared her hole to him and he took it. First one, then two fingers sliding in without resistance, her inner slut inviting the abuse. 'oh god yes' she breathed, 'fuck me!' He felt her muscle grabbing him tight, each movement of his finger making her slippery arse twitch, gripping tighter still. He always loved the feeling of this, this soft mouth kissing his finger, hungry for him. Her depths violate.

'What are you?'

'a slut' she answered, 'a dirty slut, dirty dirty whore, I I'll do anything, fuck anyone you make me, oh god, I'm just a dirty slut begging to be used'

He smiled.

Friday, 6 March 2009

I finally met my Domme

Yesterday for the first time ever i met my online Domme. Sandy knew I was meeting her for lunch, as did her partner, its nice to be able to be so open about it! No jealousy from sandy, and her man knows her well enough to not worry either. In fact as we chatted we agreed that a lot of very fun kink becomes possible when enough trust and no jealousy are in play. She and I could go to very dark places indeed!

But of real interest is how we got on. Over there last two years our friendship has grown pretty solid, I know her very well, and she knows me. I think she will always be a friend, but the play has come and gone depending on circumstance. When we met she was exactly as I expected, looks gorgeous, cold Grey eyes, sexy brunette, lovely figure. More importantly her character was as i expected, sweet fun and very very naughty. I 'm very glad to have met her finally, lovely lady.

What i don 't know is how, if at all, meeting in real life will change the relationship, either friendship or the d/s competent. I feel it will and already has, but I can 't put my finger on how. I do know that she is very hard to read at times, so only time will tell. Watch this space.

But god I 'd be tempted to play in real life, her raw sensuality and plain badness, spark, and how well she knows me, would make it a blast!

Tuesday, 3 March 2009

Frustrating anger

Saturday morning the kids were away so we had an opportunity to play and take our time. It was fun, sexy, lovely. Sandy came twice, good strong orgasms. The first was with her on all fours over me in sixty nine position, her clit in my mouth being sucked hard while I pumped a large dildo into her arse, watching from so close as her arse kissed the dildo, stretched round it. As we did this she imagined making mesuck her while another man used her and fucked her arse, my getting covered in his cum as he pulled out. Yes she is getting into this humiliation game!

Anyway later in the morning we were fucking, her on top in cowgirl. I really thought given how needy I was that today she would let me cum, finally. I should have known better, she had commented earlier that i have only had one single proper orgasm this year, in the first week of January. She really seemed to get off on that thought. As she was fucking me I got very close to the edge, she said I was allowed to cum so I let myself go. She stopped! The orgasm had not even started but was just about to, yet it made me lose interest for a moment as if I had cum. Luckily she kept riding until the need to cum came back, but then she did it again! This time I lost it, no orgasm but cock going soft and over sensitive as she kept fucking me. The frustration was strange, horrible, I felt anger boiling up inside me. Not at her though, but at the situation. I have learned to appreciate spoiled orgasms, normally the event makes me frustrated, submissive, and amused, I laugh at the state she and I have got me into. This was different, it wasn't a spoiled orgasm as such, the cum hasn't actually started. The physical reaction in my body was a deep slow throbbing in my stomach, an overflow of hormones that made me emotional and angry despite myself, even though I am quite happy as her sub to be denied. A horrible feeling.

I didn't take it out in her, but it showed enough for her to know something was wrong. She was very caring about it, just what I needed. She held me and we hugged as we talked, I assured her that i was not annoyed with her, that the feeling was hormonal not emotional. Anyway it passed and she teased me to the edge once more, just to 'make me feel better', hah!

Of course i didn't get to cum. She admitted that she had never intended to let me, although she hadn't intended what had happened she was aiming for a normal spoiled orgasm. My submissive feelings shot up as she said this. Even with such an uncomfortable event she didn't crack, didn't stop and let me off the hook. She was strict and still enjoying herself which is wonderful and unexpected. Luckily that set of circumstances is so hard to achieve that even if she wanted to try, which she doesn't, I doubt we could recreate it. So a learning moment that with hindsight is quite funny.

Very strange though, totally irrational feelings. Not nice!

Last night as we cuddled and went to sleep I asked if I could, she said no. I called her mean and she laughed and said its great isn't it. Then she said something the force of which hit me much later, 'I'm not sure who is enjoying this more, me or you'. Well that's scary fun, be careful what you wish for hey? I really want to cum, but this train isn't about to stop :)