Thursday, 30 September 2010

Is the third man a cuck?

A couple of comments on my last post got me thinking.

Is the third man a cuck? What is his position, what can he expect, what do we owe him?

Seems a silly question given that by inviting him in the married couple are putting their marriage at risk, but the third wheel has feelings too. Anonymous suggested that if he were to fall in love the couple should and probably would walk away. He is left behind, and is therefore in some way a cuckold. I'm not sure that I can stretch the definition of the word that far but I know what he means. It's easy to forget his feelings, we are used to believing that men want sex, that they can separate emotions from sex easily. That therefore the new guy should be happy to get some pussy and his feelings don't count. I'm not sure that's fair, I know that there will be men who get drawn in further than they expected and get hurt.

Sadly that's a risk that is hard to avoid, but sandy and I are certainly aware and looking out for his feelings, I know sandy is fantastic and very easy to fall for, in our case the risk of his being hurt is greater than that of us.

But he still isn't a cuck.

I'm not sure that many women would want
power over both men in those circumstances though. It feels to me too close to a hurtful situation to make it fun or intoxicating.


Anonymous said...

"For me Cuckolding has absolutely nothing to do with anyone but the Domme and sub. The third person is strictly a tool, just like a chastity belt or rope is a tool. It is an object the Domme uses to help the submissive become more submissive to her. Not that I do not take into consideration the feelings of the third person, I do. I just make it clear to them that the main purpose of their being with me is to assist in making my sub more submissive. I will not be falling in love with then and leaving my husband for them. They will not become a slave to me. They are strictly a fun toy I will be playing with and putting back when I am done with it."

Milliscent said...


In a lot of ways I agree with Mrs. Claudia. It is best to think of the third man as an enhancement to the primary relationship.

That said, it is certainly possible for the 3rd person to fall in love, and possible for her to fall in love with him. I don't think that must result in an end to things, but it does complicate things a good deal, and increases the risks.

When I first began this particular bit of femdom, I was very worried about falling in love with the 'extra' man. I've experienced that, and I no longer worry about it. I learned to handle it, as did everyone else.

The fundamental rule, stated well by Mrs. Claudia is that everyone must be 100% certain that 'she' will never be leaving her husband for 'her other man.'


MyKey said...

I dont fully agree with Mrs Claudia, fundamentally its about the couple but I think that feelings between domme and the other man are stronger than she implies, even if its not love. As Mistress M says even love can develop, and given luck and judgement handled. I think that we all agree to a point though, the marriage is the primary relationship and if its harmed by the third person then the marriage is prioritised.

For me I draw the line at love, thats where I begin to feel negative emotions. I do mean love though, not infatuation, loving friendship or similar. As long as I know I am first in her heart and will remain so the rest is negotiable.