A couple of comments on my last post got me thinking.
Is the third man a cuck? What is his position, what can he expect, what do we owe him?
Seems a silly question given that by inviting him in the married couple are putting their marriage at risk, but the third wheel has feelings too. Anonymous suggested that if he were to fall in love the couple should and probably would walk away. He is left behind, and is therefore in some way a cuckold. I'm not sure that I can stretch the definition of the word that far but I know what he means. It's easy to forget his feelings, we are used to believing that men want sex, that they can separate emotions from sex easily. That therefore the new guy should be happy to get some pussy and his feelings don't count. I'm not sure that's fair, I know that there will be men who get drawn in further than they expected and get hurt.
Sadly that's a risk that is hard to avoid, but sandy and I are certainly aware and looking out for his feelings, I know sandy is fantastic and very easy to fall for, in our case the risk of his being hurt is greater than that of us.
But he still isn't a cuck.
I'm not sure that many women would want
power over both men in those circumstances though. It feels to me too close to a hurtful situation to make it fun or intoxicating.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Thursday, 30 September 2010
Monday, 20 September 2010
Concerns about an open marriage
I'm rather mixed up about where to go in my relationship, not in a bad way but it
is on my mind. I have encouraged sandy to play with others if she wants to, and she has begun to, at least a little. I am very much her sub, she controls me, my heart my sexuality and my time if she wants it. She enjoys having her way when it suits her, and loves being sexually dominant. So her playing away feels to me like a cuckold dynamic, which is fine.
But I am a switch and my dominant side is growing the more submissive I am at home, as a result she has allowed me to find a sub. This in itself is OK too, but does not sit well with the cuckold dynamic in my head. It feels like a more classic open marriage.
I know this sounds like worrying about labels but its not, I'm confused about what emotional and sexual dynamic might come about. I don't want to lose the warm love of her dominance which has made us both a much happier couple. She certainty doesn't either.
This is probably worrying needlessly, a friend who knows more about these things than I has suggested that we should just go with the flow. So that's what I will do, though if it become a choice between losing my feelings of submission to sandy by playing away myself, or stopping my own outside play I will choose the latter. This dynamic has done us as a couple too much good to lose it.
Incidentally for those who are wondering, there is no chance of letting my Dom side out on Sandy, she has made that very clear. Lol!
M
Saturday, 18 September 2010
Sandy's thoughts
Sandy's thoughts on the recent changes have surprised me. She asked me how I would feel if she played while I was traveling with work. She liked the idea of it (as long as she wasn't worried about her emotions). She asked if I would mind if it was done at home, and if I would want to meet him. Questions that surprise me because they show how much more comfortable she has become with the idea of an open marriage.
I asked her about that and she agreed that she was much happier about opening up and less worried and more keen to just enjoy life. She still isn't sure she will go for it but it seems increasingly likely. Part of her doesn't want to, part does, and part wants to draw it out and savour the lead up to it.
She has reiterated that she is happy for me to find a sub of my own, though I am not allowed to fuck her for now.
Its a huge change over the space of only three or four months. Her decision three years ago to chill and embrace life more completely still has the capacity to surprise me.
M
I asked her about that and she agreed that she was much happier about opening up and less worried and more keen to just enjoy life. She still isn't sure she will go for it but it seems increasingly likely. Part of her doesn't want to, part does, and part wants to draw it out and savour the lead up to it.
She has reiterated that she is happy for me to find a sub of my own, though I am not allowed to fuck her for now.
Its a huge change over the space of only three or four months. Her decision three years ago to chill and embrace life more completely still has the capacity to surprise me.
M
Friday, 17 September 2010
Thoughts on the new dynamic
Sandy and I are enjoying this cuckold play immensely. She is enjoying the flirt, and slowly getting used to the idea that to go through with it might be good, not too scary and not harmful to us. My lack of jealousy and amused enjoyment of it is helping her relax. We have talked enough for her to have a chance at analyzing what she wants and what it may lead to. What she wants is a long term fun friendship, with flirtation and perhaps some sex benefits. She likes the idea of having him inside her, but is still very shy about it.
Its become apparent to her that he isn't enough of her type to risk her falling for him. Since she got to know that about him she has become much more relaxed about it, she no longer feels that its a big risk to her family. Ironically I think he may need his emotions protected from her more than the other way around, he seems quite taken with her! He likes that she is intelligent and good to talk to as well as being fun and naughty, a rare combination in his life he says. She likes his fun nature and gets turned on by him.
Funnily enough she had said nothing about her dominance or my submission. He doesn't seem to know enough about s/m relationships that she thinks he may get the wrong idea about me. I think she is right, he would have a surprise when he met me! I don't come across the type that would allow myself to be told what to do or be limited to one cum a week. At one point when he guessed she might be a bit dominant he said to her, well take charge then. Her response was to say its not that easy she needs to get in his head first. Of course what she meant is good dominance is about the mind and she doesn't know him well enough yet, but he took it to mean that he likes her and said she is already in his head.
He is rather good in bed, better than the last guy she played with in our threesome some years ago, and that guy was experienced. She enjoyed what he was doing to her. I jokingly asked if he was better than me and she jokingly said she would never tell. She then admitted that she thinks he may be better at some things and less at others. Time will tell. She was worried if I would mind but I don't, she isn't everything to me, doesn't meet every of my needs perfectly, why should I think otherwise of myself. Quite the opposite I know that some things I do very well but I suspect she would enjoy different techniques too. I admit if he was better in most ways I would struggle with that, but call me arrogant if you will, I'm considered pretty good in bed so hopefully that won't happen :) I do know that if she fucks him he will get a hell of a lot more pussy than I do, but just typing that made me hard so it's all good. She loves it too, denying me while knowing she may one day be fucking him. In fact she also knew that I loved making her cum that night knowing I wasn't the first to touch her, I think she got off on it too.
She thinks its 50:50 if she will fuck him. That's good odds if you know her, not only is she reserved, but as she said to him,
I am very good looking and fun to be with, for her, she is not often attracted to another man now she has me. So he should be flattered that she is going for it with him. I realise that comes across like I am blowing my own trumpet but its what she says, crazy kid, personally I think I am the lucky one having her.
M
Its become apparent to her that he isn't enough of her type to risk her falling for him. Since she got to know that about him she has become much more relaxed about it, she no longer feels that its a big risk to her family. Ironically I think he may need his emotions protected from her more than the other way around, he seems quite taken with her! He likes that she is intelligent and good to talk to as well as being fun and naughty, a rare combination in his life he says. She likes his fun nature and gets turned on by him.
Funnily enough she had said nothing about her dominance or my submission. He doesn't seem to know enough about s/m relationships that she thinks he may get the wrong idea about me. I think she is right, he would have a surprise when he met me! I don't come across the type that would allow myself to be told what to do or be limited to one cum a week. At one point when he guessed she might be a bit dominant he said to her, well take charge then. Her response was to say its not that easy she needs to get in his head first. Of course what she meant is good dominance is about the mind and she doesn't know him well enough yet, but he took it to mean that he likes her and said she is already in his head.
He is rather good in bed, better than the last guy she played with in our threesome some years ago, and that guy was experienced. She enjoyed what he was doing to her. I jokingly asked if he was better than me and she jokingly said she would never tell. She then admitted that she thinks he may be better at some things and less at others. Time will tell. She was worried if I would mind but I don't, she isn't everything to me, doesn't meet every of my needs perfectly, why should I think otherwise of myself. Quite the opposite I know that some things I do very well but I suspect she would enjoy different techniques too. I admit if he was better in most ways I would struggle with that, but call me arrogant if you will, I'm considered pretty good in bed so hopefully that won't happen :) I do know that if she fucks him he will get a hell of a lot more pussy than I do, but just typing that made me hard so it's all good. She loves it too, denying me while knowing she may one day be fucking him. In fact she also knew that I loved making her cum that night knowing I wasn't the first to touch her, I think she got off on it too.
She thinks its 50:50 if she will fuck him. That's good odds if you know her, not only is she reserved, but as she said to him,
I am very good looking and fun to be with, for her, she is not often attracted to another man now she has me. So he should be flattered that she is going for it with him. I realise that comes across like I am blowing my own trumpet but its what she says, crazy kid, personally I think I am the lucky one having her.
M
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
Cuckolding update
A quick update from last night...
As I suspected her resolve did not entirely hold out. She came home fairly early and gave me a big big hug, saying she was glad to be back. I think she missed me, good to know I'm still her first love :)
Apparently very soon after getting in the door he had her stripped naked, very much liking what he saw. He doesn't believe she is 40, thinks she looks much younger (she does, at least 10 years). They fooled around, oral and playing, she started slow but apparently got turned on when he started to get turned on. And he is thick which i think she is a little scared of!
In my mind the thought of her standing naked in front of him was a real turn on!
She didn't fuck him. She stuck to her guns on that, which I think is the right thing to do. Take it a bit slower as she was feeling a touch pressured. She says while it was fun it also felt strange. New and scary, thinking how he could easily overpower her. Etc. This is normal I'm sure, and she does take a little while to get used to new things at the best of times. She doesnt know if she wants to do it again but she is still processing it. 50-50 is my guess.
I must say I am a touch relieved. For a start there is the usual worry I might have of her falling for him, no chance of that she says now she knows him better. Then the speed is was happening felt to me a bit fast for her. Finally he doesn't seem to fully understand the dynamic of an open marriage. Says things like if he had her he wouldn't share, and similar comments that made him feel a tad possessive and too emotionally involved to me. He was surprised she had told me where she was going. Some of this is real but offset by knowing that he isn't enough her type to be a threat to our marriage. But this came out after she got home.
On to the fun stuff. She was turned on and loved being naughty with another man. She liked being naked and being touched. She liked playing with his cock. If she does it again she will be much more into it I predict. She came home and was very shy about telling me about it, but as I played with her still wet slit she lay her head back and told me more as her arousal grew. Removed from the situation and relaxed in a safe haven she could enjoy it more fully. I gave her a very very strong orgasm as she imagined walking naked into his flat, bending over his sofa and being fucked hard and stretched by him next time. As she fantasises I made her admit she wanted to do it next time, and she kept saying 'if you want me to' in that hot please give me your blessing sort of way. Of course I said yes and made her admit she wanted him inside her as she came. A long orgasm that wracked her body and made her writhe off the bed.
I won't hold her to it of course, even if I could. It's her choice. But it was a hot end to the night and helped her feel safe, loved and less unsure of herself. As for me of course I didn't get to cum. I'm only allowed one a week and only at the weekend. On this she is strict. Fooling with another man apparently does not soften her stance at all. :)
Overall I'd give it a 6. A decent start, not too bad but not perfect either. Fun though which is the most important, and no sign of anything that should worry us as a couple.
No pics I'm afraid. They are not the kind of quality I like to put on the blog. The photo that is not the subject of it! Suffice to say she looks good and you can see much better pics of her elsewhere on here.
As I suspected her resolve did not entirely hold out. She came home fairly early and gave me a big big hug, saying she was glad to be back. I think she missed me, good to know I'm still her first love :)
Apparently very soon after getting in the door he had her stripped naked, very much liking what he saw. He doesn't believe she is 40, thinks she looks much younger (she does, at least 10 years). They fooled around, oral and playing, she started slow but apparently got turned on when he started to get turned on. And he is thick which i think she is a little scared of!
In my mind the thought of her standing naked in front of him was a real turn on!
She didn't fuck him. She stuck to her guns on that, which I think is the right thing to do. Take it a bit slower as she was feeling a touch pressured. She says while it was fun it also felt strange. New and scary, thinking how he could easily overpower her. Etc. This is normal I'm sure, and she does take a little while to get used to new things at the best of times. She doesnt know if she wants to do it again but she is still processing it. 50-50 is my guess.
I must say I am a touch relieved. For a start there is the usual worry I might have of her falling for him, no chance of that she says now she knows him better. Then the speed is was happening felt to me a bit fast for her. Finally he doesn't seem to fully understand the dynamic of an open marriage. Says things like if he had her he wouldn't share, and similar comments that made him feel a tad possessive and too emotionally involved to me. He was surprised she had told me where she was going. Some of this is real but offset by knowing that he isn't enough her type to be a threat to our marriage. But this came out after she got home.
On to the fun stuff. She was turned on and loved being naughty with another man. She liked being naked and being touched. She liked playing with his cock. If she does it again she will be much more into it I predict. She came home and was very shy about telling me about it, but as I played with her still wet slit she lay her head back and told me more as her arousal grew. Removed from the situation and relaxed in a safe haven she could enjoy it more fully. I gave her a very very strong orgasm as she imagined walking naked into his flat, bending over his sofa and being fucked hard and stretched by him next time. As she fantasises I made her admit she wanted to do it next time, and she kept saying 'if you want me to' in that hot please give me your blessing sort of way. Of course I said yes and made her admit she wanted him inside her as she came. A long orgasm that wracked her body and made her writhe off the bed.
I won't hold her to it of course, even if I could. It's her choice. But it was a hot end to the night and helped her feel safe, loved and less unsure of herself. As for me of course I didn't get to cum. I'm only allowed one a week and only at the weekend. On this she is strict. Fooling with another man apparently does not soften her stance at all. :)
Overall I'd give it a 6. A decent start, not too bad but not perfect either. Fun though which is the most important, and no sign of anything that should worry us as a couple.
No pics I'm afraid. They are not the kind of quality I like to put on the blog. The photo that is not the subject of it! Suffice to say she looks good and you can see much better pics of her elsewhere on here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
