Tuesday, 5 October 2010
I am or I am into?
Mistress Milliscent wrote of a difference between how an individual defines themselves from a kink perspective. Into bdsm or am bdsm. I hadn't thought of it that way before but it clarifies feeling of surprise expressed in my post about sandy being truly kinky. For many years she has been resistant to kink due to being uncomfortable, society judgement repression. Then for a number of years she began to get over that. My own model of her mind has just about kept up with her increasing comfort with kink, but only just. It is an inadequate model, I had not really allowed myself to recognise how much she has changed over the last three years. At some point she went from a women who is into bdsm, to a woman who is bdsm. No longer a hobby or pleasant diversion, she is now at a very fundamental level kinky, dominant, and even mean, though lovingly so. She admits she could not go back to how we were before, and were we to ever separate she believes she would be the same with a new man. So its not a function of us, but of her.
Her model of her own mind knows this, its just me playing catch up, and its such a big change to the sandy I knew for over a decade that I am sure I will be surprised by this again. Surprise but ever so pleased, for both of us.