Extra point to anyone who recognises the reference :)
Things are a bit crap in the outsidevanilla household these days. Part of the reason I'm writing less is because we are doing less. Sandy is getting less and less interested in sex as the months go on.
It started with her going back to work full time a year or so ago. She doesn't cope well with full time work especially when you add two kids into the equation. I've upped the support I'm giving to the point where I am shattered but it's not enough. She is tired, irritable, isn't getting enough downtime and is unable to relax and make the most of it when she does get it. End result is she has nearly no sex drive. We've dropped frequency over the last year down to once a week or less. Even that is a quickie as often as not.
Im well aware that some readers might think once a week is plenty. Sandy sure does. For me though I've compromised over the years from who I really am, a highly sexual man, and as the years went by the compromise got more extreme and harder to bear. Our three year d/s relationship changed that but died as the pressure of her new job took it's toll on her.
The pressure it's putting on us is huge. I'm unhappy and feeling distant from her, and very disconnected from my own sexuality. She is distant and the lack of intimacy is affecting her too. It's causing arguments that resolve nothing. She is trying to make more effort but her effort stops outside the bedroom door. Basically she is flirty but her brain usually shuts down if it looks like it's going to become real.
All in all we are back where we started but with slightly better communication between us. We've tried to halt the slide the last few months with no lasting success. I have no idea where this is leading, no idea why I'm writing this post except that I want to get it off my chest. I'd like to think things will improve but I don't believe that. This problem has been with us for 15 years and if there was a simple solution we would have found it by now.
Sex or job. That's what it boils down to. And we can't afford for her not to work.