More questions and answers
First of all I was rather amused at Marias picking up on the odd spelling mistake. I have a very busy life. A wife who works full time and two kids, a main job, and founding another business. I write in short snatches, often on and iPhone while travelling. Rarely have time to proof read or edit much, and am reliant on spotting the inevitable iPhone autocorrect howler. So while I apologise for those mistakes I'm not going to stop making them :)
Sandy rarely reads my posts or anything online. She isn't an online person. She does on occasion though and it can happen anytime. Yes I have discussed with her about wether she would stop. She insist without hint of hesitation that she would, although admits she would find hard. If she ever told me she wouldn't a red flag would go up so fast you wouldn't believe. I'm not a beta character in life, quite the opposite. I am her sub because we respect each other and i love and trust her, but I'm no doormat. If her love for me ever became threatened the d/s would stop from my side very quickly. So would her extramarital fun, or our marriage.
Luckily she has no intention of threatening one of the happiest marriages of anyone we know :)
Paul Pines is an interesting case. I read some of his diary a long while ago and found it a very sad read. It isnt relevant to us though. I am good in bed, I turn sandy on a lot, and if I didn't my self respect would first drive me to learn to be better, and if that failed I would with regret have to move on to someone with whom I was more compatible. kids of course make that more complicated but it's the timing that might be affected, not the outcome. Again luckily that's not who she or I are in any way.
Sandy doesn't prefer sex with her lover, she likes both. Right now I have an edge because I know her better, and he has an edge because he is new and exciting. That makes us different but doesn't make her prefer him. She actively enjoys denying me because it turns her on not because she doesn't enjoy fucking me. That said I can't say for sure that it won't increase in time. In fact I think there is a high chance it will. But it will do so only as long as we both enjoy it, if I stop enjoying it then she won't either. That's what she is like. What any loving couple are like in my opinion. Further we both get bored easily and need variety, so we will likely always take breaks from it if only for a change. Finally there is a certain intimacy that we both get from making love, her less so than me but still enough that while she can do without for long periods, it wouldn't be forever.
I hope this clarifies some. If I'm coming on strong it's because I know her, me and us well, and nothing resembling the Paul Pines level of discomfort would enter into this relationship before one or both of us backtracked screaming :)
Sandys favourite words are it's fun. If it isn't fun, if it gets uncomfortable or boring then things change.