Sandy had a conversation with her lover. Long and short of it is that his feelings are so strong for her he doesnt think he can strike a balance. As such he thinks its better he ends it before our marriage is affected.
Unfortunately he has been badly hurt himself and he was having a tough time even before this. Sandy is gutted, she really did feel for the guy. I feel like a cad for precipitating the whole thing and messing things up. We needed and asked for more space but somehow that has become a damnable mess.
You would think most men would jump at a low friction fun and friendship type affair! Thats two out of two who have fallen too deeply for Sandy, asked for too much, and as such its gone awry.