It turns out my lovely Sandy is very disappointed that my business trip to NY (where I am right now) came too soon for us to use the piercing and the pa5000 to keep me chaste. Much more disappointed than I expected. She has got more into controlling my cock recently than I realise.
In fact she said that once it works she will never want me to travel without being locked first.
AAAAhhhhhhhh!
Sunday, 28 November 2010
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Underwater Assfuck
A very different day yesterday.
Sandy and I have argued a bit recently. Too much work, too little time. After a big barney I was feeling distant and not looking forward to having sex that night, not feeling close. Given how little we see of each other mid week we knew we should make a big effort to spend time together but it was feeling pressured.
We had a shower together in the morning. In the shower she pushed me against the wall and kissed me hard, roughly pushing her finger into my arse. Which was fun, but stopped after a few minutes. A short while later I did the same to her and she reacted, threw her head back and started to whimper. I pushed her face against the shower wall and pretended to fuck her from behind, whispered, not seriously, that we had all the tools we need on hand for me to fuck her in the arse. In answer she pulled my cock between her legs and started pressing it against herself. It wasn't going to go in like that so I reached over, rubber plenty of cream on me and she pushed back against me, pressing hard and wiggling her luscious arse until with a pop I was in, cock ring still in place. What followed was a pretty rough fuck, I pushed in and out fast without much warm up, my free hand either pulling her head back hard by her hair, or pinching her nipples as hard as my slippery hand would allow. She was frigging herself desperately as I fucked her, obviously needing to cum badly. In the end I got there first by a slim margin, and she came a minute later while I continued to move inside her.
Her knees literally buckled afterward, she had to sit on the floor of the shower with the door open to get her breath back.
a good start to the day and certainly took the pressure off.
That night we got to bed and were planning to sleep. I told her about a conversation i had at a munch about Figging. She asked what that was and I described it, I then told her how it feels as the ginger warms then starts to bite. At first she was just interested and curious as to when I had tried it, but as I described the feeling her breathing began to speed up and she started to rub herself on me. It became very apparent that she liked the idea. I suggested a quick orgasm before sleep which she accepted funnily enough, only she wasn't in the mood for quick. I slid my finger in her arse and played with her, she begged me to put tiger balm on it. Great! Bend over the bed and get it, I told her, and as she bent over the edge of the bed, her head hanging down and her delectable butt in the air I continued to tease her arse and her clit. Took her ages to find the balm (can you guess why?) and she passed me back a pink large dildo at the same time. Slut!
It didn't take her long to cum, I had one hand ramming the dildo into her pussy hard, my finger coated liberally in tiger balm was simultaneously moving in and out of her arse which by now was deliciously burning hot. With my free hand I grabbed her hair hard in my fist, pulling her head back, stretching her neck, or pushing it back down over the edge of the bed. I wasn't gentle at either end, dildo arse or hair but she just pushed her hand between her legs, moaning almost non stop, then tipped over into a huge orgasm. She came while making guttural animal sounds, her hair pulled even harder and head pulled back, and as she came down the slow continuing movement of the dildo and finger brought her quite a few aftershocks.
Sandy and I have argued a bit recently. Too much work, too little time. After a big barney I was feeling distant and not looking forward to having sex that night, not feeling close. Given how little we see of each other mid week we knew we should make a big effort to spend time together but it was feeling pressured.
We had a shower together in the morning. In the shower she pushed me against the wall and kissed me hard, roughly pushing her finger into my arse. Which was fun, but stopped after a few minutes. A short while later I did the same to her and she reacted, threw her head back and started to whimper. I pushed her face against the shower wall and pretended to fuck her from behind, whispered, not seriously, that we had all the tools we need on hand for me to fuck her in the arse. In answer she pulled my cock between her legs and started pressing it against herself. It wasn't going to go in like that so I reached over, rubber plenty of cream on me and she pushed back against me, pressing hard and wiggling her luscious arse until with a pop I was in, cock ring still in place. What followed was a pretty rough fuck, I pushed in and out fast without much warm up, my free hand either pulling her head back hard by her hair, or pinching her nipples as hard as my slippery hand would allow. She was frigging herself desperately as I fucked her, obviously needing to cum badly. In the end I got there first by a slim margin, and she came a minute later while I continued to move inside her.
Her knees literally buckled afterward, she had to sit on the floor of the shower with the door open to get her breath back.
a good start to the day and certainly took the pressure off.
That night we got to bed and were planning to sleep. I told her about a conversation i had at a munch about Figging. She asked what that was and I described it, I then told her how it feels as the ginger warms then starts to bite. At first she was just interested and curious as to when I had tried it, but as I described the feeling her breathing began to speed up and she started to rub herself on me. It became very apparent that she liked the idea. I suggested a quick orgasm before sleep which she accepted funnily enough, only she wasn't in the mood for quick. I slid my finger in her arse and played with her, she begged me to put tiger balm on it. Great! Bend over the bed and get it, I told her, and as she bent over the edge of the bed, her head hanging down and her delectable butt in the air I continued to tease her arse and her clit. Took her ages to find the balm (can you guess why?) and she passed me back a pink large dildo at the same time. Slut!
It didn't take her long to cum, I had one hand ramming the dildo into her pussy hard, my finger coated liberally in tiger balm was simultaneously moving in and out of her arse which by now was deliciously burning hot. With my free hand I grabbed her hair hard in my fist, pulling her head back, stretching her neck, or pushing it back down over the edge of the bed. I wasn't gentle at either end, dildo arse or hair but she just pushed her hand between her legs, moaning almost non stop, then tipped over into a huge orgasm. She came while making guttural animal sounds, her hair pulled even harder and head pulled back, and as she came down the slow continuing movement of the dildo and finger brought her quite a few aftershocks.
Wednesday, 17 November 2010
Unexpected events
Sandy got back late last night, she had had a very good time. Her lover has figured out how to make her cum, of which he was very proud. Helped by the fact that she had not had sex for a week and they had been fucking a long time! She came a second time too, this time by her own hand while he was fucking her. He also came inside her, apparently he grows very big when he is close to cumming, and she had a very dreamy expression while she told me this. He even fucked her from behind standing up against a wall. I haven't done that position with her in years and I really love it. its a huge tease knowing he got to experience it and I didn't.
In fact she has admitted she isn't missing me inside her at all. While I suspect that is partly her playing up to the fantasy, its also fairly true. She doesn't seem to need to fuck often and has her new man giving her more than enough.
I am needless to say very horny, and feeling very churned up inside with submissive feelings.
On a different note she got the tickleberry newsletter, in it they have a very sexy and evil looking kalis teeth chastity device in sexy shiny metal. I thought she would consider it too extreme, but she really likes the idea and is seriously thinking of buying one for christmas. she made a comment to the effect can I believe she is thinking of buying me a chastity belt? She admitted she likes the idea of teasing me while wearing it!
Nervous? Yup.
M
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Tuesday, 16 November 2010
Very quick update
She is out.
We havent had full blown orgasmic for her sex since last tuesday, although we have done a lot of teasing. Last tuesday was the sex we had the night of her last visit to the boyfriend. Its been a busy week! Last night we fooled round, but she would not let me give her an orgasm as she was saving it for tonight. She enjoyed 'saving herself' for her boyfriend. Today I got home from work and shortly found her upstairs shaving her pussy, leaving a cute little landing strip... for him.
After dressing her up for later she demanded I put on the panties she has work all day and keep them on until she reurns, a little humiliation in the mix. No lockup, but im not allowed to cum either, of course.
Wonder what she is up to now, while I catch up on work?
M
We havent had full blown orgasmic for her sex since last tuesday, although we have done a lot of teasing. Last tuesday was the sex we had the night of her last visit to the boyfriend. Its been a busy week! Last night we fooled round, but she would not let me give her an orgasm as she was saving it for tonight. She enjoyed 'saving herself' for her boyfriend. Today I got home from work and shortly found her upstairs shaving her pussy, leaving a cute little landing strip... for him.
After dressing her up for later she demanded I put on the panties she has work all day and keep them on until she reurns, a little humiliation in the mix. No lockup, but im not allowed to cum either, of course.
Wonder what she is up to now, while I catch up on work?
M
Monday, 15 November 2010
Giving up the hair
My wife and I have been thinking of laser hair removal for several years now but it has always seemed too expensive. Today on my way back from the gym I walked into a salon andfound the prices to be little more than I pay for a waxing. The lady who does it has skin and hair like mine and had a complete and smooth removal with four sessions. So I did a test patch to see if I react badly to it. I don't.
I came out thinking I can finally get rid of my hair properly, I have thick black hair that does not shave well. I used to wax but started to get ingrown hairs so stopped that too. Finally a solution.
Ten minutes later the permanence hit me. If you do this you will never again have hair there. Given that my hairy olive skinned body is 'manly' in my mind I suddenly balked at the idea that if in some years I change my mind there is no going back. Now I know that balls and crack I will never miss, its cleaner, feels nicer and does not show. But these days I am totally bare. My stomach and my groin. Am I happy being that way permanently? Probably not, or at least I'm not sure, but nor am i happy shaving....
Funnily enough sandy is happy for me to do everything except my stomach which she likes hairy sometimes. I did not expect her to prefer my groin bare but these days she does. I just can't see how it could look good like that with the hair on my stomach ending just when it should be getting thicker and blending into pubic hair. So how far should I go I just don't know.
I came out thinking I can finally get rid of my hair properly, I have thick black hair that does not shave well. I used to wax but started to get ingrown hairs so stopped that too. Finally a solution.
Ten minutes later the permanence hit me. If you do this you will never again have hair there. Given that my hairy olive skinned body is 'manly' in my mind I suddenly balked at the idea that if in some years I change my mind there is no going back. Now I know that balls and crack I will never miss, its cleaner, feels nicer and does not show. But these days I am totally bare. My stomach and my groin. Am I happy being that way permanently? Probably not, or at least I'm not sure, but nor am i happy shaving....
Funnily enough sandy is happy for me to do everything except my stomach which she likes hairy sometimes. I did not expect her to prefer my groin bare but these days she does. I just can't see how it could look good like that with the hair on my stomach ending just when it should be getting thicker and blending into pubic hair. So how far should I go I just don't know.
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Saturday, 13 November 2010
Bareback
There has been a question for a while about sandy and her lover going bareback. For a while we had decided not to, but it has been a problem. Sandy really does not like condoms, she and I rarely used them and when we did they took the edge off sex for her. Her boyfriend hates them even more and can't cum with one on. Finally sandy loves the idea of him cumming inside her.
As they have got to know each other better and the trust had developed she has been reconsidering this. Combined with the results of a recent test and she has felt safe enough to go ahead. There was just one problem, she was not sure her coil was still working. For the last six months I have not cum inside her the few times we have fucked as we were not sure it would be safe. Last week she decided to remedy that. It turns out the coil is still safe.
As a result the last few times they have seen each other they have had a little bareback contact, but the last time, knowing the coil was good, was different. Very different. I was as usual locked up tight at home while my wife went out to play. I knew what was likely to happen as she had told me a few days ago that she had checked it out. I was therefore unsurprised when she got home with a very dreamy, happy and well fucked look on her face, unsurprised but very turned on. I was in fact straining against my belt as she walked in and lifted her skirt, reminding me she had gone out with no panties. She then arched her back, her nipples and breasts jutting out in front of her, betraying the lack of a bra, a bra she had worn on the way over.
Did I mention I had helped her dress, helped her choose her clothes, watched her put on her black lace top stockings and slip on her skirt without any panties. Looked in her eyes as she did it knowing the effect it would have on me and on him, as she stared at me defiantly and lustfully. That I was on my knees at her feet while she did that. I was, and I was finding it very hard to remain in my place rather than throw her to the bed and fuck her mercilessly. She had to be very forceful to keep me down there.
I am lying in my bed watching her strip, getting ready to climb in with me. Now naked she sways over to me swinging her hips, looking me in the eye. She beckons me over to her side of the bed where I am told to lie back, looking turned on and just a touch unsure of herself but doing it anyway, she turns her back to me and lowers her very puffy pussy on to my face, making sure her lips meet mine and then rubbing herself on to me. I wasn't sure of this either at first, but the moment her lips touched mine any thoughts left me, driven out by my lust. I am embarrassed to say that I licked and sucked, I pushed my tongue deep into her and I loved every moment of it. She tasted amazing, mostly just her but with a hint of that electrolytic tang of cum, and the smell of his body from the skin around her pussy was also very apparent. I was not ready when she got up a minute later but she simply turned around, pressed herself back on to me, and let me clean her and pleasure her while she played with my balls, my cock of course still being locked. That just felt soooooo good. This had been her fantasy, to make me do this while I was still locked up, and I enjoyed it as much if not more than her. That said she must have liked it a fair bit, because despite having cum twice while with him she still lay back and guided my hand between her legs to give her one last, but very very long and noisy orgasm.
I was of course left high and dry, but not before being taken to the edge enough times to make mini me weep copious tears of frustration.
Ps. I know that a cuck should not feel this way, not in 'real' cuckolding, but I am very amused that he still hasn't got close to making her cum. She does it herself when she is over there. She isn't an easy woman to please as many ex boyfriends and one current one can testify. Lol!
Pps. She told me the next day that she really enjoyed him fucking her properly, that he felt very hard and large inside her, and she felt incredibly naughty. In fact the reason I had not tasted much of him was because she had fucked him a second time and that time he had not cum. She had taken him in hand and basically told him to fuck her, ending up with her pole dancing as they call it, her on top. She still does not think that fucking him is so different to me, even though he is so large. She loves it physiologically, but the feeling is much the same. That does not mean however that she has any intention of letting me fuck her any time soon. She is she says getting all that she needs from him and is enjoying denying me.
As they have got to know each other better and the trust had developed she has been reconsidering this. Combined with the results of a recent test and she has felt safe enough to go ahead. There was just one problem, she was not sure her coil was still working. For the last six months I have not cum inside her the few times we have fucked as we were not sure it would be safe. Last week she decided to remedy that. It turns out the coil is still safe.
As a result the last few times they have seen each other they have had a little bareback contact, but the last time, knowing the coil was good, was different. Very different. I was as usual locked up tight at home while my wife went out to play. I knew what was likely to happen as she had told me a few days ago that she had checked it out. I was therefore unsurprised when she got home with a very dreamy, happy and well fucked look on her face, unsurprised but very turned on. I was in fact straining against my belt as she walked in and lifted her skirt, reminding me she had gone out with no panties. She then arched her back, her nipples and breasts jutting out in front of her, betraying the lack of a bra, a bra she had worn on the way over.
Did I mention I had helped her dress, helped her choose her clothes, watched her put on her black lace top stockings and slip on her skirt without any panties. Looked in her eyes as she did it knowing the effect it would have on me and on him, as she stared at me defiantly and lustfully. That I was on my knees at her feet while she did that. I was, and I was finding it very hard to remain in my place rather than throw her to the bed and fuck her mercilessly. She had to be very forceful to keep me down there.
I am lying in my bed watching her strip, getting ready to climb in with me. Now naked she sways over to me swinging her hips, looking me in the eye. She beckons me over to her side of the bed where I am told to lie back, looking turned on and just a touch unsure of herself but doing it anyway, she turns her back to me and lowers her very puffy pussy on to my face, making sure her lips meet mine and then rubbing herself on to me. I wasn't sure of this either at first, but the moment her lips touched mine any thoughts left me, driven out by my lust. I am embarrassed to say that I licked and sucked, I pushed my tongue deep into her and I loved every moment of it. She tasted amazing, mostly just her but with a hint of that electrolytic tang of cum, and the smell of his body from the skin around her pussy was also very apparent. I was not ready when she got up a minute later but she simply turned around, pressed herself back on to me, and let me clean her and pleasure her while she played with my balls, my cock of course still being locked. That just felt soooooo good. This had been her fantasy, to make me do this while I was still locked up, and I enjoyed it as much if not more than her. That said she must have liked it a fair bit, because despite having cum twice while with him she still lay back and guided my hand between her legs to give her one last, but very very long and noisy orgasm.
I was of course left high and dry, but not before being taken to the edge enough times to make mini me weep copious tears of frustration.
Ps. I know that a cuck should not feel this way, not in 'real' cuckolding, but I am very amused that he still hasn't got close to making her cum. She does it herself when she is over there. She isn't an easy woman to please as many ex boyfriends and one current one can testify. Lol!
Pps. She told me the next day that she really enjoyed him fucking her properly, that he felt very hard and large inside her, and she felt incredibly naughty. In fact the reason I had not tasted much of him was because she had fucked him a second time and that time he had not cum. She had taken him in hand and basically told him to fuck her, ending up with her pole dancing as they call it, her on top. She still does not think that fucking him is so different to me, even though he is so large. She loves it physiologically, but the feeling is much the same. That does not mean however that she has any intention of letting me fuck her any time soon. She is she says getting all that she needs from him and is enjoying denying me.
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Disappointed...
Sandy is away for the weekend with some friends.I'm going to miss her. I am also very horny for a number of reasons, which I will go in to in a bit. As a result she decided to be a bit mean and keep me locked in my belt for the duration of her trip. We were both looking forward to this.
I didn't even make it one full day. The neosteel, sexy though it looks and feels at first, is just a miserably uncomfortable thing to wear for more than a few hours. I ended up so uncomfortable that I was even getting ratty with the kids. By the time 12 hours had passed I texted her to get the location of the hidden emergency key. I am bummed by this. I am also going to find it hard to keep my promise and not cum, though I will. I am looking forward to the day my piercing is healed enough to use the pa5000.
Why am I so horny? Well last weekend sandy decided to give me a spoilt orgasm rather than my usual full one, so my body is unused to the loss of one week of release. She had to hold me down to stop me reaching over to finish myself off properly, it was that frustrating. Her eyes were glittering with enjoyment. This week she has teased me a lot, really a lot! Real on the edge for long periods of time stuff. Again without her control I would have cum and be damned, I was that close and desperate. Partly the extra teasing is because she decided last weekend when she spoilt my orgasm that this weekend I would not get to cum. She is away and I'm only allowed to cum on a weekend, so sorry Darling but you will have to miss out, its the rule. Her eyes were glittering again when she said that. So she enjoyed upping the ante further with extra severe teasing. Some of this extra teasing was also also set off by a very good night with her boyfriend which I will write about, which of course also made us both horny.
By the time I next cum again she will have cum about 10 times since my last proper one. Even her boyfriend will have cum more then me, and he only sees her once a week.
Its a hard life being a sub, but I wouldn't change it :)
M
I didn't even make it one full day. The neosteel, sexy though it looks and feels at first, is just a miserably uncomfortable thing to wear for more than a few hours. I ended up so uncomfortable that I was even getting ratty with the kids. By the time 12 hours had passed I texted her to get the location of the hidden emergency key. I am bummed by this. I am also going to find it hard to keep my promise and not cum, though I will. I am looking forward to the day my piercing is healed enough to use the pa5000.
Why am I so horny? Well last weekend sandy decided to give me a spoilt orgasm rather than my usual full one, so my body is unused to the loss of one week of release. She had to hold me down to stop me reaching over to finish myself off properly, it was that frustrating. Her eyes were glittering with enjoyment. This week she has teased me a lot, really a lot! Real on the edge for long periods of time stuff. Again without her control I would have cum and be damned, I was that close and desperate. Partly the extra teasing is because she decided last weekend when she spoilt my orgasm that this weekend I would not get to cum. She is away and I'm only allowed to cum on a weekend, so sorry Darling but you will have to miss out, its the rule. Her eyes were glittering again when she said that. So she enjoyed upping the ante further with extra severe teasing. Some of this extra teasing was also also set off by a very good night with her boyfriend which I will write about, which of course also made us both horny.
By the time I next cum again she will have cum about 10 times since my last proper one. Even her boyfriend will have cum more then me, and he only sees her once a week.
Its a hard life being a sub, but I wouldn't change it :)
M
Thursday, 11 November 2010
Little sexy text exchange
something v entertaining about driving past our house 2 get 2 his while u locked up xx
Good god that just made me so hard, As best I can! I am yours forever.
I know & u will b mine forever xx
Of course mistress I'm a very lucky man. Xxx
Of course u r. xx
Good god that just made me so hard, As best I can! I am yours forever.
I know & u will b mine forever xx
Of course mistress I'm a very lucky man. Xxx
Of course u r. xx
Tuesday, 9 November 2010
The past touches the present
Its a funny thing but you can never entirely shake off your past. We tried, and it is usually firmly in its place, but it seems our problems have left a wound that is more raw than I realised.
One of the most difficult things I faced in our marriage was the loss of the fun, open, experimental girl I met, to the sensible and repressed girl she became. I knew of course of that side of her, but the excitement of having a new man in her life had allowed her to break free temporarily. As a result I got a glimpse of a carefree woman who I feel in love with. Of course most of the next twelve years were not like that, though we tried to rekindle it often. After knock back and more knock backs I became very wary of allowing my own passion to rise around her, or of trying anything new. She became very forceful with the word no, and not very discriminatory. I thought I had come to terms with this, and of course now she is becoming more like that woman again it feels felt wonderfully freeing. Yet not completely it turns out.
The other day it came up that her boyfriend had rubbed his cum on her breasts, and more stunningly that she liked it, it turned her on. He also pushes her around in bed, getting her to do things that he fancies when he feels like it, in short he feels free to do what he wants with her, and she likes it. Vanilla things in case you are wondering. She was telling me this sadly, sadly because she realised how much of me she had repressed over the last decade. Of course she knew it already but experiencing it for real, finding that she liked it, made it all more immediate. She mentioned the cum spreading as though to say why have I not tried that. I have of course and said so, most recently in the last few months, but she still would not allow it. She was so forceful and I am so used to backing away that she had not noticed me trying. As so often in the past my attempt to be passionate had been blocked before it had been born.
We will never fully recover that dynamic, though we are much much better. I know that she likes to be in control, that's why this d/s lifestyle suits us so well. She admits that she would not want the same with me as with him, because he is new, and because he is only with her sometimes. She can walk away from it when it suits her. Her real life she wants more control over. For me the saddest thing was knowing that I will never feel comfortable being so free with her as when we met, as her boyfriend is now, all the nos have left their mark too deeply. I will be free with my own sub when I find her, but not with my wife.
And while this isn't a surprise to me, I've known these things for years and come to terms with them, hearing her be sad about it somehow made me feel ever so raw. This wound is not fully healed, I think it never will be.
One of the most difficult things I faced in our marriage was the loss of the fun, open, experimental girl I met, to the sensible and repressed girl she became. I knew of course of that side of her, but the excitement of having a new man in her life had allowed her to break free temporarily. As a result I got a glimpse of a carefree woman who I feel in love with. Of course most of the next twelve years were not like that, though we tried to rekindle it often. After knock back and more knock backs I became very wary of allowing my own passion to rise around her, or of trying anything new. She became very forceful with the word no, and not very discriminatory. I thought I had come to terms with this, and of course now she is becoming more like that woman again it feels felt wonderfully freeing. Yet not completely it turns out.
The other day it came up that her boyfriend had rubbed his cum on her breasts, and more stunningly that she liked it, it turned her on. He also pushes her around in bed, getting her to do things that he fancies when he feels like it, in short he feels free to do what he wants with her, and she likes it. Vanilla things in case you are wondering. She was telling me this sadly, sadly because she realised how much of me she had repressed over the last decade. Of course she knew it already but experiencing it for real, finding that she liked it, made it all more immediate. She mentioned the cum spreading as though to say why have I not tried that. I have of course and said so, most recently in the last few months, but she still would not allow it. She was so forceful and I am so used to backing away that she had not noticed me trying. As so often in the past my attempt to be passionate had been blocked before it had been born.
We will never fully recover that dynamic, though we are much much better. I know that she likes to be in control, that's why this d/s lifestyle suits us so well. She admits that she would not want the same with me as with him, because he is new, and because he is only with her sometimes. She can walk away from it when it suits her. Her real life she wants more control over. For me the saddest thing was knowing that I will never feel comfortable being so free with her as when we met, as her boyfriend is now, all the nos have left their mark too deeply. I will be free with my own sub when I find her, but not with my wife.
And while this isn't a surprise to me, I've known these things for years and come to terms with them, hearing her be sad about it somehow made me feel ever so raw. This wound is not fully healed, I think it never will be.
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
Sandy speaks
Referring to the last post about wether we can go back. I think you say it all really. You are right that the whole marriage would be affected if we tried to go back. I think the marriage would survive but might be tough going for a while, but it is a moot point really! Neither of us want to stop! It's weird though that I am enjoying vanilla elsewhere - maybe with time it will become less vanilla with him - I'm really not sure it will though.
I'm very happy with the way things are - it makes it easier to sit down and relax knowing you are happy to do the chores, I still struggle with that sometimes.
I'm worried after the weekend that it brings out too much selfishness. I don't worry any more that I am not kinky enough for you though!!! I will have to keep an eye on it to keep a reasonable balance between being in charge and getting my way with doing enough of what you need too.
I'm very happy with the way things are - it makes it easier to sit down and relax knowing you are happy to do the chores, I still struggle with that sometimes.
I'm worried after the weekend that it brings out too much selfishness. I don't worry any more that I am not kinky enough for you though!!! I will have to keep an eye on it to keep a reasonable balance between being in charge and getting my way with doing enough of what you need too.
She really likes chastity!
Its an unexpected turn of events. Many years ago I got into chastity, like 15 of them. In all that time sandy has never really liked the game. She loves to tease and deny but the actual device and act of locking me away was too extreme for her. Especially in the cold light of day. So we played on occasion but never for long and her heart was never in it.
Even the last three years of an increasingly d/s based relationship did not change that.
But recently something had changed. She likes locking me up. She gets excited by it, by the denial. She chooses to use the thing more often, without prompting by me. Yesterday I sent her a picture of me in my neosteel and she actually told me it was a sexy picture.
The final straw came to me today. She is going away in two weeks for a girls weekend. She realised that since I am only allowed to cum at the weekend that I would miss out my weekly orgasm. This entertained her. She further thought that since I will be very horny and might be tempted to play a bit too much that she wants me locked the whole weekend. So starting Friday until late Sunday I am on lockup. Once I realised she was not just saying it, once I saw the determined and excited look in her face, I finally clicked that her relationship with chastity has changed. I suspect once the piercing has healed I will spend much more time locked than in the past.
Funny really, I gave up on the fantasy some years ago as it seemed to be not for us, and its taking a while to get used to the idea again, I like touching my cock! But then I like being a sub more. Seeing her determination made me warm inside and very hard down below.
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Can we ever go back?
I have often wondered about this question and certain conversations recently on the chastity forums have got me thinking again. I think for us the answer is no, we could not.
This has been a long slow progression to where we are today. Lots of stops and reversals along the way since I introduced kink to our life. For most of the time I was the dominant one, both day to day and in the bedroom. Once we started switching roles it was still a game. Sandy wasnt sure she enjoyed it much for some years, and didnt think she was comfortable in the dominant role. So it remained a game, she liked aspects of it, tickling and teasing, but mostly it remained something we did now and then for fun.
Three years ago that changed. The reasons I wont go into here, but they were changes in my wife that were not only related to kink but to her whole life. She discovered parts of herself she had not known existed and became pretty quickly comfortable letting herself go. This included in the bedroom, with kink generally, and with her dominance also. She blossomed. With it our marriage also blossomed, and at the same time I made many changes in my interaction with her to support and care for her more. In time this has all got tied up with the d/s life we now lead.
She loves being in control, in and out of the bedroom. Its 24/7 but not in the total power exchange sense. We speak as equals, I will stand up when I feel strongly about things. But what works for her is that she knows that if she gives me that look, if she tells me to go do, I will do it. Quickly. She can stop me in my tracks and redirect me. She can offload her work on to me and while she still occasionally feels bad about it, especially when im tired too, knows that I will do it, because she wants it, because she needs to relax, because I love her and want her to be able to relax the stresses in her mind and offload them, on to me if necessary. These things make her feel loved, supported, and the control aspect makes her feel powerful and completely worshipped. Its fun, loving, caring, exciting and even a bit mean at times. Yes she has a mean streak and loves to let it out, many interactions between us now involve something a bit teasing or mean. A shadow of a kiss that doesnt quite connect leaving me gasping for her, a smack on the arse or a pinch of the nipple, her sliding her clothes from her body seductively at night knowing I am transfixed, and knowing she has denied me orgasm. A tickle before bedtime. These are also constants in our life now.
There is also a great deal of vanilla love, hugs, kisses, from the outside you would not see any of the d/s. But we know the edge that lies beneath it always.
Whats in it for me? Well Im submissive, more so than I used to realise. Its such a sexual thrill seeing the disparity between us, seeing her getting more sex than me, asking, no lets be honest sometimes ordering me to do certain chores while she sits and reads her book. Handing me her empty plate with a haughty air for me to take to the dishwasher (with a touch of a tongue in cheek smile). She is a buzzy woman who finds it hard to relax, i have spent years trying to help her do it. So I get fulfilled knowing this lifestyle has empowered her to relax more often without guilt, and I also benefit later that day from a happier more relaxed partner. I feel like I have looked out for her. Any man with a protective nurtering nature will know how much it means to protect the woman you love from lifes troubles, and I often feel that sense strongly.
And the sex... Its fantastic. She has it turns out a hell of a sadistic streak, and I have a hell of a masochistic one. We click in the bedroom and are always exploring old games, and occasionally new ones. She can be very mean, more so than I would always want, which of course feeds the submissive in me because I am having my limits pushed, and encourages her dominance to grow also, which makes her feel free, but also paradoxically makes her feel loved.
Notice how often I have mentioned love and care. And thats the rub. This lifestyle has brought out a level of love and caring for each other that we never had consistently before. We had flashes of it but we never knew how to sustain it. This way of interacting, these roles we have taken on provide a framework for interaction that encodes within it those things we both value as our own love language. It has also brought a fantastic sex life and an outlet for her dominant nature and my submissive side. Last but not least it has given her, in her own head, permission to break free her inner passion.
In the last three years we have forgotten how to be vanilla. Now and then we have a break for a change, but we dont know what to do. How to interact day to day, how to have sex. Its a lovely change but thats all it is, a break. I never quite shake off being her sub, she never quite shakes off her teasing nature. In bed we have to work hard to stay vanilla as we keep sliding back into our d/s roles. Partly this is habit, but mostly it is that this is now who we are. As Thumper said in his post stacks, this has now become one of the most solid foundations of our marriage.
It took a long time to get here, but I firmly believe that to go back now would be almost impossible and furthermore would risk the very marriage itself. As Sandy herself says (and it warms me to hear it), she doesnt see herself as sometimes wife or sometimes mistress, there is no longer a distinction, she is both. And same on my side for me. Its beautiful.
--------------------------
One little side note. I revealed our lifestyle to a very close vanilla friend of mine recently. He was curious as to why we were so much happier these days, and I know him so well that if I cant tell him it would feel like a lie between us. I trust him. So I told him the whole story (without the gory details!!!).
Surprisingly he almost completely understood. He did wonder how being told to do stuff regularly didnt make me get rebellious, but kind of understood that it met my need to care for my wife. I asked him if he had noticed anything between Sandy and I earlier in the evening (she had left by this time) and he said no. All he had seen was a couple in love who interact lovingly and touch each other a lot in passing. He had not noticed, even once I pointed it out, the occasional look she had used on me, the teasing one, or the do this now or else one. Open air dominance and submission yet even a close friend had no inkling anything was going on. Sandy and I find that very entertaining.
This has been a long slow progression to where we are today. Lots of stops and reversals along the way since I introduced kink to our life. For most of the time I was the dominant one, both day to day and in the bedroom. Once we started switching roles it was still a game. Sandy wasnt sure she enjoyed it much for some years, and didnt think she was comfortable in the dominant role. So it remained a game, she liked aspects of it, tickling and teasing, but mostly it remained something we did now and then for fun.
Three years ago that changed. The reasons I wont go into here, but they were changes in my wife that were not only related to kink but to her whole life. She discovered parts of herself she had not known existed and became pretty quickly comfortable letting herself go. This included in the bedroom, with kink generally, and with her dominance also. She blossomed. With it our marriage also blossomed, and at the same time I made many changes in my interaction with her to support and care for her more. In time this has all got tied up with the d/s life we now lead.
She loves being in control, in and out of the bedroom. Its 24/7 but not in the total power exchange sense. We speak as equals, I will stand up when I feel strongly about things. But what works for her is that she knows that if she gives me that look, if she tells me to go do, I will do it. Quickly. She can stop me in my tracks and redirect me. She can offload her work on to me and while she still occasionally feels bad about it, especially when im tired too, knows that I will do it, because she wants it, because she needs to relax, because I love her and want her to be able to relax the stresses in her mind and offload them, on to me if necessary. These things make her feel loved, supported, and the control aspect makes her feel powerful and completely worshipped. Its fun, loving, caring, exciting and even a bit mean at times. Yes she has a mean streak and loves to let it out, many interactions between us now involve something a bit teasing or mean. A shadow of a kiss that doesnt quite connect leaving me gasping for her, a smack on the arse or a pinch of the nipple, her sliding her clothes from her body seductively at night knowing I am transfixed, and knowing she has denied me orgasm. A tickle before bedtime. These are also constants in our life now.
There is also a great deal of vanilla love, hugs, kisses, from the outside you would not see any of the d/s. But we know the edge that lies beneath it always.
Whats in it for me? Well Im submissive, more so than I used to realise. Its such a sexual thrill seeing the disparity between us, seeing her getting more sex than me, asking, no lets be honest sometimes ordering me to do certain chores while she sits and reads her book. Handing me her empty plate with a haughty air for me to take to the dishwasher (with a touch of a tongue in cheek smile). She is a buzzy woman who finds it hard to relax, i have spent years trying to help her do it. So I get fulfilled knowing this lifestyle has empowered her to relax more often without guilt, and I also benefit later that day from a happier more relaxed partner. I feel like I have looked out for her. Any man with a protective nurtering nature will know how much it means to protect the woman you love from lifes troubles, and I often feel that sense strongly.
And the sex... Its fantastic. She has it turns out a hell of a sadistic streak, and I have a hell of a masochistic one. We click in the bedroom and are always exploring old games, and occasionally new ones. She can be very mean, more so than I would always want, which of course feeds the submissive in me because I am having my limits pushed, and encourages her dominance to grow also, which makes her feel free, but also paradoxically makes her feel loved.
Notice how often I have mentioned love and care. And thats the rub. This lifestyle has brought out a level of love and caring for each other that we never had consistently before. We had flashes of it but we never knew how to sustain it. This way of interacting, these roles we have taken on provide a framework for interaction that encodes within it those things we both value as our own love language. It has also brought a fantastic sex life and an outlet for her dominant nature and my submissive side. Last but not least it has given her, in her own head, permission to break free her inner passion.
In the last three years we have forgotten how to be vanilla. Now and then we have a break for a change, but we dont know what to do. How to interact day to day, how to have sex. Its a lovely change but thats all it is, a break. I never quite shake off being her sub, she never quite shakes off her teasing nature. In bed we have to work hard to stay vanilla as we keep sliding back into our d/s roles. Partly this is habit, but mostly it is that this is now who we are. As Thumper said in his post stacks, this has now become one of the most solid foundations of our marriage.
It took a long time to get here, but I firmly believe that to go back now would be almost impossible and furthermore would risk the very marriage itself. As Sandy herself says (and it warms me to hear it), she doesnt see herself as sometimes wife or sometimes mistress, there is no longer a distinction, she is both. And same on my side for me. Its beautiful.
--------------------------
One little side note. I revealed our lifestyle to a very close vanilla friend of mine recently. He was curious as to why we were so much happier these days, and I know him so well that if I cant tell him it would feel like a lie between us. I trust him. So I told him the whole story (without the gory details!!!).
Surprisingly he almost completely understood. He did wonder how being told to do stuff regularly didnt make me get rebellious, but kind of understood that it met my need to care for my wife. I asked him if he had noticed anything between Sandy and I earlier in the evening (she had left by this time) and he said no. All he had seen was a couple in love who interact lovingly and touch each other a lot in passing. He had not noticed, even once I pointed it out, the occasional look she had used on me, the teasing one, or the do this now or else one. Open air dominance and submission yet even a close friend had no inkling anything was going on. Sandy and I find that very entertaining.
Monday, 1 November 2010
Never look back
My wife is not one for looking back. She moves forward in life, rarely has regrets and gets on with it. She would not want to live in a city she previously lived in, or work at a place she has been before. You get the drift. When it comes to kink however she was always trying to backtrack. She would have some fun, then her repression and discomfort would rise up and she would run away. This cycle (repeated often) was our pattern for many years. As a result the new, passionate, dominant and excitable Sandy is still often a surprise to me. She is honestly a different woman.
So it is still a very pleasant surprise to me when she tells me certain things. Her boyfriend is very vanilla. She told me that she quite enjoys having vanilla with him and kink at home. She says we cant do proper vanilla any more, it feels like a game. Its just not us any more and probably never will be. She is right. We have the odd vanilla break but its not real vanilla, we don't fit those roles any more. Just as many people occasionally play bondage games in the bedroom, so we play vanilla games now and then. But what's the significance?
Well imagine my surprise and pleasure when she told me that much as she likes a bit of vanilla, its made her realise that she could not imagine living that way again. Its just too boring!
We have suspected for a while this is the case but to have it confirmed is cool.
------
I have often mentioned her repression and how much she has blossomed recently. Imagine a woman who during her Ph.D. would walk past a coffee shop every day for 6 months. Every day she would look in and really want a coffee or one of their cakes. She never went in, not one single time. She still remembers the place and how good the coffee smelt. Why did she never go in? Because she was going to work, that was her mission. Because it costs money and she was a student. Because because because... So many reasons. Of course she could have had one now and then but at the time the chains her mind was bound with were so strong it never occurred to her.
Many many years later and after losing her job and having problems with the marriage she started to make a concerted effort to free herself from her own limitations. She went on a few NLP courses, practised letting herself go and thinking differently. We started to play dominance games and that also helped as she started to free herself from needing to mould herself to me. Eventually she reached the point she is at now, her inner passionate, silly, fun and loving nature is out there and its wonderful to see. She wont walk passed that coffee shop again without at least considering walking in. She is a different woman. Or rather she is the inner woman she always should have been.
---------------
This new passionate wife is still compared to some people quite reserved. Compared to me or her boyfriend for example, we are both very emotional, very excitable and loving men. He has commented on how little she shows her emotions. Haha! This is fantastic now, try living with her 10 years ago mate!
So it is still a very pleasant surprise to me when she tells me certain things. Her boyfriend is very vanilla. She told me that she quite enjoys having vanilla with him and kink at home. She says we cant do proper vanilla any more, it feels like a game. Its just not us any more and probably never will be. She is right. We have the odd vanilla break but its not real vanilla, we don't fit those roles any more. Just as many people occasionally play bondage games in the bedroom, so we play vanilla games now and then. But what's the significance?
Well imagine my surprise and pleasure when she told me that much as she likes a bit of vanilla, its made her realise that she could not imagine living that way again. Its just too boring!
We have suspected for a while this is the case but to have it confirmed is cool.
------
I have often mentioned her repression and how much she has blossomed recently. Imagine a woman who during her Ph.D. would walk past a coffee shop every day for 6 months. Every day she would look in and really want a coffee or one of their cakes. She never went in, not one single time. She still remembers the place and how good the coffee smelt. Why did she never go in? Because she was going to work, that was her mission. Because it costs money and she was a student. Because because because... So many reasons. Of course she could have had one now and then but at the time the chains her mind was bound with were so strong it never occurred to her.
Many many years later and after losing her job and having problems with the marriage she started to make a concerted effort to free herself from her own limitations. She went on a few NLP courses, practised letting herself go and thinking differently. We started to play dominance games and that also helped as she started to free herself from needing to mould herself to me. Eventually she reached the point she is at now, her inner passionate, silly, fun and loving nature is out there and its wonderful to see. She wont walk passed that coffee shop again without at least considering walking in. She is a different woman. Or rather she is the inner woman she always should have been.
---------------
This new passionate wife is still compared to some people quite reserved. Compared to me or her boyfriend for example, we are both very emotional, very excitable and loving men. He has commented on how little she shows her emotions. Haha! This is fantastic now, try living with her 10 years ago mate!
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