Post submissive feelings
There are those feelings when you have cum, sometimes you feel silly, embarassed or foolish. Why do I do this you ask? That's all I feel these days, but not it a bad way. Not feeling foolish, just asking why. I have no real interest in being a sub, giving control feels silly and numb to me. I don't want to be denied orgasm, or my wifes body. Reading stories that used to turn me on still do, just about, but in a very detached analytical way. My Id is looking down at the rest saying why? What's the point? So I don't crave it at all.
My sex drive probably isn't low, I cum every day or two. But it's not 'there' ever present. No gnawing craving butterflies. I used to miss it when they weren't there, now it's a relief.
So I am beginning to wonder, have I had It burned out of me? I always knew I was more of a switch, not totally a sub, but when I sub I go deep. I wonder if I went so deep and long this time that the curiosity has been slaked, which is one of my big drivers. I'm happy I've been there, very happy, I would always have wanted to try it if I hadn't. But now? I don't know. It's dangerous saying stuff when you are at a low point (sexually that is) just as what you say when horny isn't necessarily to be trusted. But right now I can believe that I will not sub again.
Play is different. I may not be missing it much now but it's fun, I like tickling, teasing, spanking. These games will happen sometimes. But that's not the same thing as being a sub.
That's all I have to say this morning. But if any readers have experienced this or similar for any length of time (a month for me now) I would love to hear your opinions.