I love a man on his knees

I am kneeling making a fire. She walks passed and says those words.

I asked her later if she was joking. Mostly she says, then thinks a bit and says 'well actually I do'. How hot is that!

Not the woman I met, the one without a domme bone in her body. I realise more these days that this is her game now, and she likes it as much or maybe even more than me. Certainly she is very happy to be back in that role and doesn't want to stop yet.

Snowy new year

Its snowy on the mountains in Wales, beautiful. Lucky people to live in such a beautiful place.

Last night neither sandy our I were in the mood to make love, we were feeling very naughty. I had her gagged, having her ass filled with her dildo, fantasizing that she was being fucked and abused by a sexy couple, a dildo gag pressed in her mouth and the other womans pussy, the guy fucking her ass, me gagged, kneeling and watching, waiting to clean up. She came on my tongue with the dildo fucking her hard and deep.

After she came she made me clean her toys and gagged me, made me kneel in the cold room while she read for a while. I was so horny after playing with her that I was hard the whole time. I wasn't allowed to touch her or me. After about 5 minutes she let me in the bed. To cut a long story short I was given an intense orgasm with her finger coated in deep heat in my ass, my ass burning, and her other hand masturbating me while she whispered filth in my ear.

Not exactly vanilla, I guess making love can wait a while.

playtime

a couple of little playtime posts. the morning of Christmas eve we knew that we werent going to have much time to make love in the next couple of days, so I suggested we fool around. I had also just bought a ball gag with a gift voucher, Sandys gift voucher and therefore her gift.

Net result, she decided that fooling around meant I would be gagged and naked, kneeling by the side of the bed, not allowed to cum, watching her masturbate. She had a lovely strong orgasm, and admitted that she enjoyed seeing me desperate and hearing my moans through the gag. After she came I lay in her arms for a while, still gagged, but snuggling. It was surprisingly intimate and loving.

Boxing day we were due to make love, but after 2 weeks without cumming I wouldn't be able to hold back. I asked if I could come once or twice before making love. She agreed, but with her own dominant twist... So I got to masturbate over her pert lovely bottom, and was made to lick it up from her centre. I had to do that before pleasuring her, so as to make the orgasm less pleasurable. Of course being pushed into submission like that made it delicious anyway! She came with my thumb in her ass and her fingers rubbing her clit hard, with the remains of my cum lubricating her pleasure.

Fun! Next, making love and a bit of vanilla interlude. I think.

Newly submissive

Over the last two weeks sandy and I have been playing ds games again. It started off very gently, after we last made love we joked about me not coming till Christmas day, and decided to go for it. But that was all, lighthearted playing. Over the course of the two weeks we have gone deeper into it though, I think we had both missed it, though the break did us good. Still not taking it too seriously, but she is happy demanding tea and pampering in front of my in laws, and is also enjoyed her orgasms leaving me denied. The break at christmas is on us and we will probably make love. But we have both made it clear that after we will go back to ds. I feel like I am home again, protected and protector in her arms.

I look forward to a good long fuck, I am waxed, she is also bare. I love the feeling of sinking deep into her until my bare skin rests hot against her pubis. Yum!

So baby steps but less baby than we thought they would be.

One final thing, we chatted about a humiliation game this morning, her leadig me naked through a club, gagged, blindfold and on a lead. Leaving me tied to something while she goes to the bar. She got rather turned on by the thought. He hasn't ever really got turned on by being dominant before. She loves doing it but it doesn't usually mAke her horny. So clearly she is getting more and more into the role.

Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas, best wishes, and a fun, prosperous, and very naughty new year to you all.
May your orgasms come think and fast, or not (sorry bd, you know how it is).

Mykey xxx

Unexpected arousal

So I have just been completely waxed. Totally bare. And it's made me so horny! I've had a full blown submissive mindset descend on me. Like my man mojo has been taken from me and I want to be a toy. Yummy abused horny husband to a sexy dominate wife.

Mmm make me lick your clit while your boyfriend fucks you from behind. Fucks the pussy I have been denied and crave so badly. Subby husbands don't get to fuck when they want, they get teased and toyed, they aren't even allowed to keep their pubic hair.

Playful reentry

Sandy and I took a few tentative steps back into kink.

Last might we made love, well not really. She was feeling subby, or slutty to be more accurate. After a long tease she ended up having her clit spanked and being double penetrated until she and I came, hard. She does love ass play.

Coming together always makes me feel intimate.

She has also decided that I won't cum now until Christmas day. Just because it's fun. This isn't me being a full on sub. She did say and I agree that we take it slow and ligthearted, and stop if it doesn't feel right. Feels odd losing control of my cock again, but yes it's hot.

Apparently I might be allowed to cum but only at work (which I hate, heheh).

The last samurai

I watched it for the second time last night. It never fails to make me cry. Such a powerful film, and very sensitively done.

I have to ration myself from listening to the music, has too strong an effect on me, and sandy.

The pleasure of caring

Wanting to look after Sandy has not changed. I Miss it. That's changed in me perhaps permanently, that I want to do more for her and that I derive more pleasure from it.

So there will be more of that than there was before I subbed. Not as much as when I sub, that's inevitable I think, but more than before we did the ds thing.

I spoke to sandy about it today. She had an interesting take on it. She said that she thought there was a big element of having done lots of kink and that I'm probably a bit bored of it, or at least not interested if bored is too strong a word. She reminded me also, that although she has only been my domme properly for a year, that we haven't been vanilla for many many years. So we have both rediscovered the pleasure in that (and my god it is fun, and heartwarming). It seems she doesn't want the ds dynamic for now any more than I do. She thinks that she will again, she is pretty sure of that. It's fun she says. Her typical answer to what she gets out of it. But right now she is enjoying a change.

So my analytical self is starting to relax, my inner world can be explained again.

Strange feelings

Post submissive feelings

There are those feelings when you have cum, sometimes you feel silly, embarassed or foolish. Why do I do this you ask? That's all I feel these days, but not it a bad way. Not feeling foolish, just asking why. I have no real interest in being a sub, giving control feels silly and numb to me. I don't want to be denied orgasm, or my wifes body. Reading stories that used to turn me on still do, just about, but in a very detached analytical way. My Id is looking down at the rest saying why? What's the point? So I don't crave it at all.

My sex drive probably isn't low, I cum every day or two. But it's not 'there' ever present. No gnawing craving butterflies. I used to miss it when they weren't there, now it's a relief.

So I am beginning to wonder, have I had It burned out of me? I always knew I was more of a switch, not totally a sub, but when I sub I go deep. I wonder if I went so deep and long this time that the curiosity has been slaked, which is one of my big drivers. I'm happy I've been there, very happy, I would always have wanted to try it if I hadn't. But now? I don't know. It's dangerous saying stuff when you are at a low point (sexually that is) just as what you say when horny isn't necessarily to be trusted. But right now I can believe that I will not sub again.

Play is different. I may not be missing it much now but it's fun, I like tickling, teasing, spanking. These games will happen sometimes. But that's not the same thing as being a sub.

That's all I have to say this morning. But if any readers have experienced this or similar for any length of time (a month for me now) I would love to hear your opinions.

M

What's up doc?

Well not much.

We are growing together again, sandy and I. Trust is coming back. We are in love, very much so. But no kink, at least not much. I wonder if we will ever go back to domme sub. To be honest I'm not missing it. I don't know why. My sex drive is very low at the moment, of course I'm coming most days so that helps suppress it, lol! Masturbation of course, the love that dare not speak it's name in these parts. sandy isn't missing it either, still feeling a little unsure of herself. I also rather like having some of my freedom back, and being able to cum when I want. It's also very relaxing for me not to have the denial hunger gnawing at me constantly. It's more relaxing for sandy too. Even though we both loved it at the time.

Our 11 month ds period has had a few permanent changes. I still look for ways to look after her more than I used to, not that I was ever neglectful but it's upped the level some. She does for me too.

We did have a little kinky play last night. The first since the bustup. I had a long whipping that was great, got the endorphins flying high, felt like lighthearted fun. Sandy enjoyed it too. Afterwards we made love, good old fashioned fucking. She came once by my hand, then we came together wih me inside. Afterwards I lay in her arms feeling at peace with my wife. Later still we watched flashforward and i rubbed her feet. Quite nice having a but of kink and ending in a loving way.

So who knows, I suspect we will be 10% kinky 90% nilla for some time yet. But after 11 months that's probably no surprise. It's a change, one we probably needed. Someday we may explore 24/7 ds again, probably will in fact. But how soon is unclear.