We have played tease and denial games for years, but in the past she has always given me the strong impression that she would want me to cum soon. She thought I got too edgy after a while, or just didnt want to be so mean. Sometimes she just wanted a change. I am beginning to really believe that is no longer the case.
Its been a month since I last came. Ive been a raging bag of hormones for at least 2 weeks now. She has had about 25 orgasms since my last one. We were chatting last night and she admitted that she doesnt feel at all bad about it, in fact she cant help but be mean. During the day quite often in passing she will grab and twist a nipple, or swat my ass hard. When we are naked and in bed she just cant help but tickle, dig her nails into my cocks or balls etc. She cant stop herself, doesnt want to. She likes using the riding crop on me because she knows it really hurts, not like the belt that builds up into a pleasurable pain, she likes this because its instantly almost unbearable. And she admitted that while she enjoys making me cum, she enjoys not making me cum much much more. Truly her newfound dominance is of be careful what you wish for!
Lest I give the impression that she doesnt care about me thats far from true. Part of her enjoyment comes from seeing how much I love being abused, part of it from the enjoyment of her power and control (which can only come with the willing gift of my submission). If I didnt *really* enjoy it on some level she would not be doing it this way. But she knows full well that its a love hate thing, I do want to cum, I do hate the riding crop, and yet she will push these things further than I would go, for her own enjoyment. And that makes it so much hotter for me, her kink feeds my kink, her dominance feeds my submission...
While talking last night she also admitted that if I wanted to stop and go back to the way things were, she would find it almost impossible. I created a monster!
In conclusion, I should probably accept a life at least for the next few years, with fewer orgasms than before. And I love it, the more skewed it gets in her favour, the more fun it becomes.